Forget trees that drop needles, mine's dropping whole branches

[Andit]

So...today I'm finally getting around to putting up my trees. Yes, trees. 4 little ones that fit on top of my little wall unit. Actually, 5. thanks to an impulsive purchase last week. So I now have 4 lovely little trees that I can just take out of the box & decorate.

& then there's tree #5. the kind that requires a little bit of assembly. This was a gift (re-gift?) to me last year from a friend. I have come to understand why I got this lovely little present. Clearly I did something horrible to a tree in a past life. Maybe I was a beaver? Or a male dog?

Did I mention assembly? I swore off real trees 20 years ago. I couldn't handle having needles in intimate places (not even lumberjacks should have to deal with pine needles in those spots ).

So I cranked up the all Xmas all the time station, where pop stars like to sing Silent Night in a key they've invented. & started sticking the branches into the trunk. Yippee, I finished in only 10 minutes. Except I still had a branch in my hand. & the cat was playing with another. & the dog was just wondering why we had a tree inside.

OK, so I miscounted. It happens. Time for eggnog. The fact I don't like eggnog didn't deter me, I opted for an eggnogless eggnog. In other words, rum.

Try number 2. This time I made sure the cat hadn't stolen any branches. Out of sight is out of mind...until I step on the darn thing. & let me tell you, real pine needles are nothing compared to fake tree branches. I finished just as Brenda Lee sang Jingle Bell Rock. Must be a good sign, the music`s in key. So...why did I have a branch left in my hand?

OK, time for another round of eggnog (done my way). Critters have both gone to their beds. Not sure if they were avoiding the wannabe Xmas music or my made up lyrics condemning fake trees.

Try number 3. This time all the branches are in. I take a good look around to make sure I haven`t lost one. Critters are still avoiding me, so no chance of theft. Perfect. It`s done. It only took 2 hours.

Think I`ll go have another eggnog before I make any attempt to decorate the trees. Gotta get those creative juices flowing, dontcha know.

So...who shares my pain of putting together these artificial trees???

[mle]

LOL I suppose trees have always liked me so I can't agree, but thanks for the laugh

"& the dog was just wondering why we had a tree inside." & eggless eggnog LOL.

[AmberLab]

Poor you! Do they even still make trees like that anymore? I remember having one like that as a child, hated it. Now, our tree is artificial, but it just "woofs" out like an umbrella, I stick the three parts together in the trunk section and it's done.

Drink some more eggnog. You deserve it.

[miztia]

more eggnog! I had a tree like that once, and it was a hand me down. Never again.
I just got a 6ft skinny skinny tree from home depot for $15 dollars last night! To my suprise, its actually really nice as far as skinny trees go. Doggie has high tailed it to her bed, and out of the way too. LOL

[KK7]

Funny story lol

[TaraF]

Are you sure you weren't into the eggess nog at the START of this story? Oh but I feel your pain! With our tree we have color coded bands on the metal part and we have to sort all the branches out and insert them individually *sighs* thankfully this year I had my Husband do it all while I sat back and watched with an evil grin on my face!

[Lynn49]

OH, you paint such a vivid picture of your encounter with artificial trees and the antics of your critters, Andi!! Love the eggnog "your way"!

[winston]

I put my tree away last year ,all together I'm sure.............but I only found the top half when I went back! Luckily with the new pup in the house the top half stuck in a pretty crock and put on the table works fine but still , where did the bottom half go? And what are those lights doing over the summer to get that tangled?

[avoncallingu]

Oh - you remind me how much I miss my aluminum tree! It shed enough tin foil to wrap the whole turkey each year when I was taking it up and putting it down - but I loved it - my dh hated it! It always started out as "The Charlie Brown Christmas Tree" but always looked GREAT (to me) when it was decorated. But last year it met it's maker and we bought a pre-lit - pull-it-out-in-three-parts tree. How unChristmassy! My eggnog of choice is a brown cow or a hot chocolate with a candycane in it (Timmies stole my idea)
Your story was GREAT! You might want to leave the light-wrapping until after the "eggnog" has worn off! LOL!

[greentires4me]

we have this ugly artificial tree that has a box that it doesn't really fit into its a pain in the butt to take out and its a pain in the butt to put it back in...but my mom is allergic to real trees hence the fake tree...but my cats used to think it was something to climb so during the process of put it up we find the tree would fall over not one time for up to 5...

Yet this year we are like there is no space so I want to buy one of those LED Christmas trees I saw at Canadian Tire but my mom says they look tacky. I said whats tacky is no one in this house is not allowed to change the theme of the tree its always the same idea with Santa's. And I am not talking just a couple Santa's but over 400+ Santa's that are by the way what my mom collects. We all had to collect things as kids my sisters was Angels and mine was Nutcrackers those decorative ones. Yet neither my sister or myself would like to collect those no more.

We want my mom to now have an obsession about cookie jars so if you know any cool cookie jars out there...don't hesitate to give me a message...

[Natalka]

hehehe.... you wrote this while 'on the nog', didn't you! ROFL! Love it!