Why is Mental Health still Taboo to discuss?

[Skippy]

I'm posting this question in this forum rather than Health and Fitness because I believe it will get more exposure here.

The reason I ask this question is personal, I'm guilty as other extended family members are too. It is sad that it can't be discussed publicly, but
even worse within families.

Thoughts would be appreciated.

[cheekysaver]

I have no idea why it is taboo. I guess it really isn't in our house and it is certainly nothing to be ashamed of. We are fairly certain one of my nefews is bipolar. His dad is bipolar and has been hopitalized for it a couple times. Perhaps when families have other medical issues it just blends in.

So hi i am cheekysaver and we have a family member or 2 with mental health issues.

[TaraF]

My opinion is that because it can be a scary thing, and for many it's an embarrassing thing as well. It's so much easier to sweep reality under the rug so that everything appears tidy even when you are struggling with a mental health issue, whether it be you yourself or someone you love.

[Darth Penguin]

I think that part of it is due to the fact it's not a visible affliction. People can't see it so it's hard to imagine.
Plus there has been a perception in mediveal times of illness being the work of the devil or possession by demons.

Certainly a lot of people are uncomfortable about talking about mental health. I still hear people saying things like " well, she should just pull herself together" or " if he got out more, he wouldn't be depressed".

[Brynhilde]

I think that part of it is due to the fact it's not a visible affliction. People can't see it so it's hard to imagine.
Plus there has been a perception in mediveal times of illness being the work of the devil or possession by demons.

Certainly a lot of people are uncomfortable about talking about mental health. I still hear people saying things like " well, she should just pull herself together" or " if he got out more, he wouldn't be depressed".

Exactly.

[Murren]

Mental Health issues are taboo because of our society. Back in the good old days you hid those members of your family who suffered and stuck them in "hospitals" far away. They were never spoken of. In this day and age we still do the same thing. Being mentally ill means your weak, it means you need to pull your self up by your bootstraps and keep going.

That attitude is BS. I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder when I was 28. Prime time for a diagnosis. I spent 7 months in the hospital away from my DH and children. It was absolute hell. I lost friends, family members whispered and talked about me behind my back, fellow employees gossiped about how I was enjoying my time off work. My own mother would tell me to just "get it together". That is when I found out my mom's sister has the same diagnosis and when I was little my mom spent years looking after her own sister and her sister's family. Talk about feeling stabbed right in the heart. Then one night at about midnight I got a call from my mom. She was crying. She had gone to see the movie "A Beautiful Mind" and was phoning to apologize for being so awful to me and she realized what hell it is for me. If you want a glimpse into a mental health issue, watch that movie. That was 12 years ago.

Fast forward to now. 9 months ago I had another Major depressive episode (they don't call them nervous breakdowns anymore). I am again off work because we can't find any medication combinations that work and we are running out of options. I feel like this big black cloud. Yuck. I have lost more friends, family member still talk, and fellow employees are ripping me apart because again "I decided I needed an extended Vacation". Arggggggg!!!!! Mental illness is an invisible disease. It can and does take lives, literally. It is hard to describe to someone what it feels like to be like this. Telling someone with a Mental health issue things like 'Cheer up. Get over it. Move forward', is like telling a blind person 'Just look harder.

I am very open about being diagnosed Bipolar. If people don't like it or don't want to hear it too bad. I am not going to hide because of this.

End of my Rant

[taxsavey]

Lack of education. I told my friend. Would you think bad about me because I use an inhaler? No? Good! It has no bearing on my personality, neither does depression or mental disease, because its just that, a disease. I think people attack or are scared to talk about what they don't understand or fear. The sad thing is, its the most common disease out there. And it has absolutely nothing to do with someones personality. None at all. It is chemical.

[Brynhilde]

Mental Health issues are taboo because of our society. Back in the good old days you hid those members of your family who suffered and stuck them in "hospitals" far away. They were never spoken of. In this day and age we still do the same thing. Being mentally ill means your weak, it means you need to pull your self up by your bootstraps and keep going.

That attitude is BS. I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder when I was 28. Prime time for a diagnosis. I spent 7 months in the hospital away from my DH and children. It was absolute hell. I lost friends, family members whispered and talked about me behind my back, fellow employees gossiped about how I was enjoying my time off work. My own mother would tell me to just "get it together". That is when I found out my mom's sister has the same diagnosis and when I was little my mom spent years looking after her own sister and her sister's family. Talk about feeling stabbed right in the heart. Then one night at about midnight I got a call from my mom. She was crying. She had gone to see the movie "A Beautiful Mind" and was phoning to apologize for being so awful to me and she realized what hell it is for me. If you want a glimpse into a mental health issue, watch that movie. That was 12 years ago.

Fast forward to now. 9 months ago I had another Major depressive episode (they don't call them nervous breakdowns anymore). I am again off work because we can't find any medication combinations that work and we are running out of options. I feel like this big black cloud. Yuck. I have lost more friends, family member still talk, and fellow employees are ripping me apart because again "I decided I needed an extended Vacation". Arggggggg!!!!! Mental illness is an invisible disease. It can and does take lives, literally. It is hard to describe to someone what it feels like to be like this. Telling someone with a Mental health issue things like 'Cheer up. Get over it. Move forward', is like telling a blind person 'Just look harder.

I am very open about being diagnosed Bipolar. If people don't like it or don't want to hear it too bad. I am not going to hide because of this.

End of my Rant

Wonderful post!!

I have experienced being discriminated because I was misdiagnosed with Bi Polar II.. turns out I don't have any diagnosis and was going through a lot of stress (partner had passed away, lots of bills, isolated because of where I lived). Worst experience of my life.. I felt stigmatized by nurses, certain friends and even got a visit from CAS. I can't imagine what it is like for someone that has this diagnosis or any other illness... but I have an idea now. People say there is a lot of awareness for mental illness but I think a lot of people still think mental illness won't happen to them or poke fun at those who do suffer.

Thank you for sharing your story! I think you are really brave

[abbasgirl]

Yep. I agree with everyone else. Unless you have actually lived with one yourself, it's hard for someone to understand that you can't just work harder and snap out of it. Also, unless someone has some experience or has done some research, there can be a misconception that everyone with any kind of a mental illness has the potential to be suicidal or violent.

[cheekysaver]

*sends huge E-HUGSSS to murren* I am sorry your in that dark space right now and i am very certain you are not the only person on SC going thru it.

[DianneS]

Wonderful post!!

I have experienced being discriminated because I was misdiagnosed with Bi Polar II.. turns out I don't have any diagnosis and was going through a lot of stress (partner had passed away, lots of bills, isolated because of where I lived). Worst experience of my life.. I felt stigmatized by nurses, certain friends and even got a visit from CAS. I can't imagine what it is like for someone that has this diagnosis or any other illness... but I have an idea now. People say there is a lot of awareness for mental illness but I think a lot of people still think mental illness won't happen to them or poke fun at those who do suffer.

Thank you for sharing your story! I think you are really brave

Given that over 40% of Canadians will personally experience a mental illness in the course of their lifetime, many of those folks are mistaken. It is unfortunate that the stigma often keeps people from seeking help. Just as diabetics are not embarrassed to take insulin to correct an imbalance in their body, those who have mental illnesses have no need to be embarrassed about taking medication that enables them to live a fuller life.

[Giving-Small]

Talking about having a mental illness makes you vulnerable. People may see you/treat you differently from Murren's post which eloquently describes the ways.

At my work, I've seen concerns from others that maybe the person will do something crazy (unstable) and hurt them. Why? Little knowledge of mental illness, most from TV and movies and many portray stereotypes and criminally ill.

Mental illness is invisible - you look fine on the outside (well mostly, depends how bad you get) so many people assume the worst -- ie. you're scamming the system, to get some days off, etc. Great - you are now a person who no scruples willing to "steal"
- Mental illness is not the same for everyone so it's hard to understand that Bob could do x, when ill but not Joe.

Let's face it - the manifestation of mental illness often makes many of us look "stupid", "ditzy", "unprepared" etc etc. You can't focus as well, or remember what you've just learned, or be as mentally nimble as before, or show up on time or even remember meetings. I love my doctor's phrase, getting really depressed is like be shot at with a stupid gun. So do you really want to let anyone know what's wrong. People are really supportive (now) of people with diseases that were taboo to talk about in the past. So I think there's hope.

Murren - big hug ... you are not walking down your road alone through the dark times, we are there with you and walking beside you.

[Murren]

Thanks Ladies...

I am very lucky to have a very loving and patient DH...we have been to hell and back and we are stronger for it (almost 20 years strong ). My DD is 16 and we watched A Beautiful Mind together and then explained to her what was going on. Many tears were shed that night as we both realized that at 16 she is going to say things, some of which I will probably take way too personally and there will more than likely be fireworks because of those things, but it is just where I am mentally and she now knows that somewhere in that overreaction is her mom waiting to come back out. My DS is 13 and he understands enough...he has Asperger's and tries to sympathize as best he can which can be trying because he just says what comes to mind, even if it is totally inappropriate (such as because I wouldn't hold his toque he told his dad I was lazy out loud in a busy parking lot...at the time the comment wasn't funny...but now I can chuckle about it ). I am one of the very few who have a totally fabulous medical team behind me. My Psychiatrist has been with me for 16 years and I can honestly say that with out his help I would not be here today. My Family Doctor is also a blessing and is doing great considering this is new territory for him. Yes I have days when I just want to pull the blankets up over my head and hope that the bed will swallow me whole...but I have stayed out of the hospital this time...and although it is really hard to get my self psyched up to go out of the house...I force myself because I know I have too.

I am vocal about Mental Illness because it shouldn't be something that people need to be all hush hush about. There are a lot of people who needlessly suffer because of the stigma that society put on this illness. It is real. It's like fibromyalgia. You can't see it, but man the pain can be unbearable. Depression and Mental Illness is unbearable at times too. It needs to be vocalized. Society needs to see exactly how devastating this is. People do take their lives, and for the ones who have succeeded there are many, many more who have tried, repeatedly and who, with out proper help, will keep trying until they make the numbness go away and the pain end. Turning a blind eye doesn't make it go away.

I am going to put my soap box away now

[lecale]

People can look "whole" on the outside, yet suffer terribly on the inside from mental anguish, or chronic pain

If someone looks "whole" but is not functioning, it can be hard for others to wrap their minds around.

Can't you just suck it up? What did you do to yourself? Why are you afflicted? Is this for real? Your faith is too weak! How did this happen? It's not going to happen to me, is it, because obviously you've done something in your past to cause this!...it doesn't matter if you have broken physically or mentally, people question the validity of your suffering.

So in that way, mental illness can be a lot like other illnesses. dh couldn't walk a few years ago before surgery and you wouldn't believe the social pressure for him to use his two feet and show others that he actually could get around. After all, he was physically whole and was "only" dealing with pain! Only the people closest to him could understand the depths of that pain, by observing him day in and day out. Others are cruelly skeptical.

BTW I believe that chronic pain will totally mess with your mind, and if the pain doesn't drive you crazy, the meds for it will.

But understand, you just can't tell people some things. No! They know what they know and all the energy you have will not change their world view.

It doesn't help that mental illness is poorly dealt with in the media. Some newspapers do not broach the topic unless it is some person with bipolar disorder pushing people in front of a subway train. There was an outrageous story in our local paper about a woman that had schizophrenia, stopped her meds, and something terrible (that did not at all affect the public) happened. Comments on the story were horrifying and the family was truly hurt, as expressed in a letter to the paper. It was a tragedy most people seemed to take as an amusement.

Obviously there are a people out there that suffer from mental health issues that are able to thrive given support and medications. And I would say the popular media...stories that you fall across in your daily paper...are overwhelmingly negative on the issue of mental health. (The Los Angeles Times tends to have some good series on mental health. +1 for them!)

The gift we receive from suffering is that we become more compassionate people. I can't change the world, but I can support others better.

[ame555]

I keep hearing this, but don't find it too taboo, I find it talked about a lot now. Some people are not as receptive to it as others, but I think there is a much better understanding now of depression, anxiety etc. I remember as a kid we had the "crazy old aunt", but now a days I don't think we would really say that, more like "auntie has anxiety". No different then saying auntie has diabetes. Not a perfect world but much better then it was a generation ago! (or atleast I hope).