house/baby troubles ~ update post 20

[Lynn49]

It's not so much the apartment that concerns me...it's the whole 30 minutes they get to be together each week that has me stumped...

[TaniaD]

When me and DH found out I was finally pregnant with #2 (year and a half of trying), we went on a mad house hunt and the housing market was so hot at that time that houses were being bought before we even had a chance to look so we ended up buying the first house that was available in our price range, that was decent....I wish we had waited. So definitely don't rush to buy a house just to have a baby. And moving at 8 and a half months pregnant was kinda nice, cuz I wasn't 'allowed' to pick up anything so I was the supervisor.

[marstec]

It's not so much the apartment that concerns me...it's the whole 30 minutes they get to be together each week that has me stumped...

Maybe they do shift work?

Here's another perspective:
Our society sees males as the main providers (whether this is correct or not is another issue). Perhaps your husband thinks having a house is a priority before taking on the added responsibility of another child? I agree about having both parties on-side before proceeding any further on both goals.

[hollyquaiscer]

Yes...you do seem very stressed and busy...would this really be a good time to bring another child into your world? With you and your husband having a whole 30 minutes with each other each week.....and, I'm assuming together with your first child......I'm a little confused here.....

I was just thinking the exact same thing. It almost seems with everything you have going on and how busy you and dh are, now doesnt' sound like the best time to be wanting a baby. Babies and children in general take so much time to love and nurture, they can sense our stress and they miss us terribly when we are not around. JMO, but it sounds like due to the demands on your schedule, it may be better to wait to have another child.

One of my dd's has 1 son, Ryder, who will be turning 6 in June. She also had to go with her dh for fertility treatments as they were unable to become pregnant on their own. They too want another child, but they also want to upgrade their home. They spoke with their Dr. and given their busy schedules, they have decided to wait at least another year. The Dr. told them that more and more couples are having children later in life (this dd is 26) and they talked about it as a couple and have decided to wait till both their schedules are more flexible as my dd wants to stay home for a few years when the next one is born.

take time to think about it, another child will take up tons of time. I wish you the very best in whatever you decide to do. Keep us informed.

[jayne_a]

I'd just like to clear things up first, DH works M-F 6am-5pm, and I work evenings and weekends So that I don't have to pay for day care. ( I see no point in paying someone to raise my child) I get my DS school days off, b/c I am a parent helper at his school, On the 3 day during the week that i do work, DH and I only have 30 mins together b/c that's when he gets home, and i have to go.

DH thought it would be a good idea to wait to have a house first but we don't know when we will find one that we like. I didn't think that having a house was a major deal, b/c we are in an apartment and like other's have said ppl rent their whole lives with out owning a house.

That being said, DH and I have decided to start the fertility treatments in June. House or no house, we still have the next 6 months before treatments start, and then another 9 months after we find out that we are pregnant.

DH was 100% behind me the whole time, the problem was just about when to start the treatments, b/c he thought we should have a house not an apartment.

[Samba-Jane]

If you have to start for a second child, you need to have more than 30 minutes for each other. It really pays well to be prepared so I understand your worries. My family were just renting the time all of us children were born and we never had a house until I was already almost six. If you're really determined to have a house before your second one is born, I suggest you start looking for prospective houses as early as now.