Feeling used :(

[greencanuck]

DH runs into that all the time too.....it is unbelievably frustrating. We've decided to go with "we're here to visit you during our off time, if you want to talk about work, please call during business hours" usually stops people in their tracks. Some see it as rude, but most (after some thought) understand.

Unfortunately, part of running your own business is to set up reasonable boundaries and limits for friends and family regarding discounts and personal time vs. business time.
Good luck.

[Slaney]

That's pretty low. It's one things for them to discuss thier plans with you & ask for your services but to ask for a deal is horrible!
My friends ex husband was a contractor & I'd be talking about some work I need done & she would say "he knows how!" So I'd get her to ask him if he wanted sme extra work on the side how much he'd charge us. & the time we needed to make sure we were doing our floors & stairs right we asked him to stop by & look but we never invited them over under false pretences & wanted him to do anything!

[Eva-M]

I totally understand the title of this thread....you couldn't give a better name....

It's sad when you try to help a friend - give out a hand & they pull out your arm -

[Sunshyne1]

I agree that they should've told you the exact reason they were inviting you over, and not trying to disquise it with a "dinner" invitation.

Maybe they are asking you because they don't want to go with another one of your competitors????

Did they ask if you would take the job? Or were they just picking your brain for ideas?

[benmackmom]

What your "friends" did was so not cool. You have every right to feel used.

I am an accountant and a friend's husband started a contracting business. They asked me for advice on setting up a bookkeeping system. That turned into 2 years of "free advice and help" without even the tiniest bit of acknowledgement. When I finally said "enough", they turned on me and said how selfish I was and that I really wasn't their friend because I wouldn't help them out. Yeah, right!! Funny thing is when I asked the "contractor" to do some skid steer work for us, he had no problem sending me an invoice. This was way before I said "enough".

[leda]

My suggestion, in the future when 'friends' ask you over, in a humourous tone, say something like; Sure, sounds great! Just promise no talk of work, I've been really swamped and need a break. Or try; It will be nice to have a night without work talk. Maybe setting that boundary before you go, will give them the hint. Not that you should have to though. Maybe try a Facebook status that is polite but will also give them a hint that what they did was crossing the line. Something like; I've been very busy at work. If you want a quote or any help from me, please message me and we can arrange a time to speak.
Those are just my ideas, if they help any!

Good luck! I hope things get better for you! You shouldn't feel put on the spot like that, and real friends should know that!

[hollyquaiscer]

Kelly, I feel so bad for you guys. That is just plain rude as far as Im concerned. Whats even worse is expecting friends to give you "A great deal" In otherwords charge just cost!!! My DH always had a saying :I'll send my friends to you, and you send yours to me" He would make a point of NEVER doing work for friends. He did it once, and it always causes hard feelings somewhere. They are upset you charged to much, or they thing you should have done the job this way instead of that way..... Tell them flat out, sorry we thought we were coming here for dinner. A consultation will cost $xxx as this is the third time. Either they will remain your friends and understand and not USE you guys, or they were never your friend to start with,

[snuffaluffagus]

Come over Kelly, i'm to broke for landscping this year! I make you cake
I so get you, we can't visit anyone without fixing a computer

I live closer. Swing by for a BBQ before heading to IMLN's .

Dh and I have sooo been there. It's amazing how many friends we realize we don't have when we practice saying, "no." That's ok though, it quickly weeds out the bad ones.

[coupongirl99]

Things like that are annoying and it does make you feel used, especially when it starts to happen again and again and again until finally one just has enough. I remember when I was small we had a neighbour once who came to visit around super time one day, well being gracious, my Mom invited them to stay and join us expect this person took that one time invitation as a opened ended offer and began to show up quite regularly right around super time. One day my Mom finally had enough and delayed super. The person came over, they sat down at the kitchen table for a bit with my mom just making idle chit chat and after a few minutes of realizing super wasn't being served the person suddenly made some silly excuse and had to leave. They never came back! LOL!

[leda]

^^^^Wow, some people!!!

[princesskimmi]

Kelly I feel for you what they did was rude - they certainly could have invited you over for dinner and mentioned that maybe after dinner you could take a peek at their plans.

I just realized that we are lucky - DH is an Aircraft Mechanic and no-one has ever called us because they needed their plane fixed

[kelly25]

My father was an aircraft mechanic and he got asked all the time for airline tickets (air Canada) that are less costly called ``buddy passes`` he always said yes and eventually got into trouble (didn’t respect the age rules ect) and lost all privileges when it came to flying with Air Canada.

[Tweetybird999]

Now, Kelly reminded me, does he had a *buddy* pass available? I promise not to abuse it much

Kelly I feel for you what they did was rude - they certainly could have invited you over for dinner and mentioned that maybe after dinner you could take a peek at their plans.



I just realized that we are lucky - DH is an Aircraft Mechanic and no-one has ever called us because they needed their plane fixed

[princesskimmi]

We have passes!! And we barely use them - Also Air Canada. I think my DD 14 uses them the most to go to her Nana's.Funny enough no-one ever asks us for them?

[KelJo]

Some people have such a nerve...I would have just drank all the wine, became obnoxious and hopefully they would ask me to leave and I wouldn't have to worry about the next time . Its not worth feeling bad about it anymore, there are some people out there that are just users and expect so much from other people!! I would just put it out of my mind and screen my calls.