A "friend" Rant

[Ami1984]

So I have been friends with this girl for over 4 years now, She makes plans with me to come over here at least once a week and maybe makes it once a month or 2, Am I being mean for being rude to her finally, I think it is rude. Trust me I am aware of things coming up but is going partying an excuse? She is younger then me yes, but not that much that I am anit party, What should I do?

[Poirot]

She's no friend,drop her.

[MillieH]

If you don't enjoy the time you spend together when she actually shows up, just don't take her calls. If you do enjoy those visits, then understand thats how she is and dont lock in a date.. tell her to call you on that date to see if it works for YOU...

[c_mcarthur]

I know what its like to loose a best friend, same thing, she was a flake, and whenever she did come over to hang out she was always on her phone!
When i finally called her out about it we had a huge blowup and we havent spoken since.
This happened back in january.
Sometime i miss the good times we had, then I think about how much of a BAD friend that she is, and i realize I dont need baggage like her hanging around.

[Shwa Girl]

Ami1984, been there too. I agree with the other posts. She is not a friend. She is an acquaintance. I think you are now realizing who she really is and she is taking advantage of you. Not nice to be waiting for her to show up and she doesn't -- yup, rude.

[greencanuck]

Real friends do not behave that way.

If you value your time together, have one frank discussion with her on this subject.

Eventually, you must decide that you deserve better treatment.

Let the flakes, time wasters and people who disrespect you go from your life.

Treasure your time with people who value you, your time and your feelings.

[Ami1984]

Thank you everyone for posting your thoughts, Everyone is so right, she is not a friend, I wouldn't do that to her

[torontogal12]

You don't need her. I used to have a "friend" like this who would always cancel our appointments at the last minute as I was just leaving the house, or just paid a $3 token to get on the subway to go meet her. Get rid of people like this or they will suck you dry! I had a "friend" like this who I invited to our wedding anyway (trying to be nice) and then she brought a wedding crasher to the wedding and made random wedding guests babysit her kid. You don't need that drama so get rid of it before it even gets close to that level!

[ashokia]

Ugh! My DB and SIL are like this. They always make plans and then cancel like 5 minutes before they are supposed to be at the door! I put up with it for years and years until my son was born and now I don't even talk to them because I am not going to let my DS get all excited to see his Auntie and Uncle only to have them flake on him.

You deserve a much better friend who appreciates you and the time you spend together!

[marstec]

Some people are natural born "users", they have no consideration or respect for other people. You should hang out with people who make you feel good, not those that aggravate you. Remember, your time is just as important as anyone else's!

[Speckled28]

I was/am having a similar issue with a "friend". He'll start texting me....inviting me over....inviting me to dinners and various other other things.....we'll talk all the time......and then he completely drops off the face of the earth for months.......then reappears. He always says he's just really busy with work and whatnot but I feel like I'm the only one getting the brush off. I don't really get it. Either you want to be friends or you don't. I'm not interested in being friends for a month or two once every 10 months, lol.

[marstec]

I was/am having a similar issue with a "friend". He'll start texting me....inviting me over....inviting me to dinners and various other other things.....we'll talk all the time......and then he completely drops off the face of the earth for months.......then reappears. He always says he's just really busy with work and whatnot but I feel like I'm the only one getting the brush off. I don't really get it. Either you want to be friends or you don't. I'm not interested in being friends for a month or two once every 10 months, lol.

Speckled,
I hate to say it, but in your case, it might be more of a Venus/Mars, man/woman thing. My husband doesn't see his friends for months, even years, at a time and when they meet up again, it's like they've been in touch everyday! Women cultivate their friendships differently, I believe...you take it personally if there isn't thoughtful (and reciprocal) interaction.

[Speckled28]

Speckled,
I hate to say it, but in your case, it might be more of a Venus/Mars, man/woman thing. My husband doesn't see his friends for months, even years, at a time and when they meet up again, it's like they've been in touch everyday! Women cultivate their friendships differently, I believe...you take it personally if there isn't thoughtful (and reciprocal) interaction.

You could very well be right. I do have him on my fb though and can see that he appears to have a very busy social life with everyone else. Yet at the same time as far as I'm concerned we've always had a great time when hanging out.......and I've even flat out asked him what's up.....saying that if he doesn't actually want to be friends that's fine (it's not....I'd be bummed) but please just be honest about it, because I don't want to be that person that keeps texting him and whatnot if all he's thinking is " God I wish she'd stop texting me!" lol. He told me that wasn't it at all.......so who knows. Men can be SO weird! LOL

[Ami1984]

I have just realized she has deleted me off Facebook for calling her on it, Well I guess this is my answer, She was not my friend in the first place. Everyone's responses were great and thank you everyone for making me realize I am not the jerk in this friendship

[Darth Penguin]

Sorry to read your update....she's definately not a friend and she risks losing other friends if she carries on like that.