All Purpose Rant Away Thread - 3.2.1 GO!

[MillieH]

When you tell someone close to you that you have stage 4 cancer and they respond with it would be easier on everyone if you had a heart attack and died

[momof3heathens]

wow @MillieH

[Natalka]

When you tell someone close to you that you have stage 4 cancer and they respond with it would be easier on everyone if you had a heart attack and died

Oh, geez.... never talk to that person again, ever; that's just gross.

[MillieH]

lol... it was my husband lolll... kinda hard not to talk to him... I posted that first when he said it.. it hit me hard.. but I had a good cry (first time since I've been diagnosed) and I'm over it now.. I went out for a drive and then to have a talk with my daughter.. sometimes men are idiots.. that was one of those times.. it does help me figure out my treatment plan... this isn't an easy process for anyone involved.. oddly I see to be the one who is handling it the best..

Oh, geez.... never talk to that person again, ever; that's just gross.

[walkonby]

lol... it was my husband lolll... kinda hard not to talk to him... I posted that first when he said it.. it hit me hard.. but I had a good cry (first time since I've been diagnosed) and I'm over it now.. I went out for a drive and then to have a talk with my daughter.. sometimes men are idiots.. that was one of those times.. it does help me figure out my treatment plan... this isn't an easy process for anyone involved.. oddly I see to be the one who is handling it the best..

Oh Millie, I have almost no words or concept of understanding as to what your DH was thinking with his response. You sure seem to have a tough outer shell to let that comment go, but I suppose if you harbour it all that is not going to serve you well in treatment and for your day to day procedures. Yeah, sometimes men react badly, and say hurtful things without realizing the damage.
Hoping going forward you find some ways to cope with a peaceful still mind. Prayers for you my Dear!

[wolfwoman]

We received an invitation to DH's niece's wedding and it was worded funny. It was addressed only to DH and asked if DH would be attending. DH called his sister ( bride's mother) and it turns out only he is invited and not me. WTF?! She wouldn't say why and naturally DH told her what they could do with the invitation. Needless to say, that bunch has burned any bridges they had left with him.

Another rant
Eastern Mayors don't want Western pipelines coming out there, fine then I want all the Equalization payments back. I don't swear but when I saw that on the news, I used every curse word I have ever heard and then made up some more. And they can all park their cars and shut off their furnaces. Stop using our oil and gas if it is too dirty for them and go swim in the lake that was just polluted with human waste.

Millie, I'm PMing you.

[Natalka]

Oh Millie, I have almost no words or concept of understanding as to what your DH was thinking with his response. You sure seem to have a tough outer shell to let that comment go, but I suppose if you harbour it all that is not going to serve you well in treatment and for your day to day procedures. Yeah, sometimes men react badly, and say hurtful things without realizing the damage.
Hoping going forward you find some ways to cope with a peaceful still mind. Prayers for you my Dear!

+1

[Natalka]

We received an invitation to DH's niece's wedding and it was worded funny. It was addressed only to DH and asked if DH would be attending. DH called his sister ( bride's mother) and it turns out only he is invited and not me. WTF?! She wouldn't say why and naturally DH told her what they could do with the invitation. Needless to say, that bunch has burned any bridges they had left with him.

Another rant
Eastern Mayors don't want Western pipelines coming out there, fine then I want all the Equalization payments back. I don't swear but when I saw that on the news, I used every curse word I have ever heard and then made up some more. And they can all park their cars and shut on their furnaces. Stop using our oil and gas if it is too dirty for them and go swim in the lake that was just polluted with human waste.

Millie, I'm PMing you.

That's crazy about the invitation - but YAY on your husband!

About the pipelines, I know, it's nuts -

I'm so very proud of our premier

Brad Wall ✔ @premier BradWall
I trust Montreal area mayors will politely return their share of $10B in equalization supported by west

#EnergyEast https://www.facebook.com/PremierBradWall/posts/10153887213459267 …

[Arvilish]

When you tell someone close to you that you have stage 4 cancer and they respond with it would be easier on everyone if you had a heart attack and died

Stay strong, Millie!

[momof3heathens]

Could he have meant that it would be more difficult to watch you suffer? @MillieH

[MillieH]

Could he have meant that it would be more difficult to watch you suffer? @MillieH

We had a talk after I went out and came back.. he thought I was suffering now (from worrying about whats going to happen ) and is worried I will go through a lot of physical and emotional/mental pain as time goes on. My sister was diagnosed with breast cancer June 30/15.. I went to her place July 1 and stayed until end of August then brought her down here, she died Nov 6.. helping her go through the process and being able to hold her while she died gave me peace... Helping her..helped me.. I know how one test leads to another etc etc.. she didn't have pain and very little suffering.. our circumstances are different though. When we discussed it, I reminded him that I am really calm,, sleeping well etc etc.. I don't feel afraid or talk about it other than to make a warped joke now and then.. As for what could possibly happen pain wise.. I will go ahead with treatment as long as there is quality of life.. once it goes past that.. I will refuse treatment .. His concern was about me.. the wording came out wrong and the more he tried to explain it..the worse it got.. I needed a time out to think rationally instead of being all emotional..

A friend of ours went to bed and died in the middle of the night, we've always talked about that being such a wonderful way to go.. thats where he was coming from... It's not that he doesn't want to see me suffer..he doesn't want me to suffer... oddly enough I've always been the healthy one.. lots of fruit and veggies.. low fat.. reasonable proteins... kept my weight good, worked out.. didn't drink or smoke.. ... he smoked 2 packs a day.. drank far too much.. ate loads of red meat, no fruits or veggies and I end up with the health issues.. When I told him the news on Thursday, he was shocked.. said he had his head in the sand.. I knew two weeks ago because of what the surgeon said.. I heard the surgeon say there are spots here , here and here.. and we need to do more tests, just to be on the safe side.. Wayne heard they were doing them but there wasn't anything wrong.. I heard this is bad news.. so I'm prepared when stuff happens and don't have a reaction

I always prepare for the worse but hope for the best.. He always thinks nothing is going to happen... my heart feels so sad for him

[MillieH]

Thanks everyone for your support.. I'm not a rant type of person..but today it needed to come out.. and I'm very grateful for your input.. its all sorted now and I'm back in my happy place floating down the river of denial lol.. There has to be a freaked out person underneath the calm way I feel..

[Arvilish]

Thanks everyone for your support.. I'm not a rant type of person..but today it needed to come out.. and I'm very grateful for your input.. its all sorted now and I'm back in my happy place floating down the river of denial lol.. There has to be a freaked out person underneath the calm way I feel..

[Natalka]

Thanks everyone for your support.. I'm not a rant type of person..but today it needed to come out.. and I'm very grateful for your input.. its all sorted now and I'm back in my happy place floating down the river of denial lol.. There has to be a freaked out person underneath the calm way I feel..

That calm could just be the right stage of acceptance that will ready you to fight like hell!

You can post on the thread in the Tea Room any time, it doesn't have to feel like a rant for you... just a place to talk things out to random strangers (who are kind!)

Thanks for explaining about your husband and his feelings - it's actually good to hear about that looking from the outside. I have a sister who just went through bowel cancer surgery, and another sister's husband is just going through chemo for esophageal/stomach cancer.

[walkonby]

Millie, thanks for the update and now I just wish my arms could break through the screen to you! HUGS!!!
You are amazingly stoic, and yet I love what you said here " its all sorted now and I'm back in my happy place floating down the river of denial lol.. There has to be a freaked out person underneath the calm way I feel.."
Whatever method you find to deal with all that is to come I pray that it brings you and your DH closer.Even though initially he opened his mouth to insert his foot, you gave him the chance to remove it. Hold on tight now.