Just need to rant...

[findme]

DH absolutely loves to save but hates to coupon. I used to coupon and enjoy doing it. It gave me the happiness. I am a SahM, hubby would Rather I go back to work but I am choosing to stay at home just so I can raise the kids(5,9). Anyways so he is mad at me bcaz I won't go work. I was watching extreme couponing last night as it gives me high just watching ppl save and he got all mad about it! Seriously what's his problem with saving! Why pay full price when u can get it free! I know couponing takes a lot of time and that's something I don't have but why can't I just watch it really and at him right now. I wish he was supportive like some awesome husbands here!


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[angel_2011]

don't let it get to you hun

sometimes my hubby can be a bit finicky - it just depends if he's on his period or not (sarcasm)

[sun_shine]

My fiancé thinks it's great that I coupon as he sees how much joy I get from it, but we don't live together. Who knows how he'll feel about it living with my coupons and stockpile! Sorry that he isn't supportive about it Would it make a difference if you kept records of how much money you save in a month couponing versus how much you would pay buying everything at full price, or have you tried that already?

[Shwa Girl]

DH absolutely loves to save but hates to coupon. I used to coupon and enjoy doing it. It gave me the happiness. I am a SahM, hubby would Rather I go back to work but I am choosing to stay at home just so I can raise the kids(5,9). Anyways so he is mad at me bcaz I won't go work. I was watching extreme couponing last night as it gives me high just watching ppl save and he got all mad about it! Seriously what's his problem with saving! Why pay full price when u can get it free! I know couponing takes a lot of time and that's something I don't have but why can't I just watch it really and at him right now. I wish he was supportive like some awesome husbands here!

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You need a coupon that is good for things he likes or needs.
A coupon for tires.
A great Canadian Tire gas bar coupon for barbeque accessories, for example.
A coupon for discount entry to the Outdoorsman Show, example.

Then, he will be hooked.

[sun_shine]

Thought of something else... is there any chance he feels that you put more energy into couponing than you give to him? Not saying this is the case, but sometimes men just get angry to cover up another emotion. We all know couponing IS time consuming, and I know that if I spent more time couponing than I spent focusing on my fiancé, he would probably get mad and hate me couponing. Again, not making any judgment on your relationship or suggesting you DON'T give him attention, but even if he felt like you didn't, it might explain the anger? Just a thought

[CrazyQT]

Is your husband wanting you to go back to work for financial reasons? Maybe he feels a burden of trying to provide financially for your family. If this isn't the case I apologize for suggesting it.

On the other hand I don't see anything wrong with watching extreme couponing as long as you realize those shows are very unrealistic IMO. They go way overboard with what they buy and to me it seems like such a waste to buy 100's of items you'll never use before expiring or ever at all.

[Anna Michele]

If your kids are in school ages 5 and 9 i see no reason why you cant work part time i am a stay at home mom of 4 ages 1, 2, 5, & 7 with one on the way. Hubby hates coupons and would rather me be working too. The cost of daycare or burden of leaving them with family is something i dont want to deal with.
He is off right now so we basically have no money. Coupining helps but it doesnt pay the bills.
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[Darth Penguin]

is there any chance he feels that you put more energy into couponing than you give to him? Not saying this is the case, but sometimes men just get angry to cover up another emotion. We all know couponing IS time consuming, and I know that if I spent more time couponing than I spent focusing on my fiancé, he would probably get mad and hate me couponing.

THat's a possiblitiy , IMHO, especially if your beloved feels left out of other famly activites as you are a SAHM.

Is your husband wanting you to go back to work for financial reasons? Maybe he feels a burden of trying to provide financially for your family. If this isn't the case I apologize for suggesting it.

It's also possible that your beloved thinks that you are lonely being at home all day away from other adults especially if the children are at school all day.

On the other hand I don't see anything wrong with watching extreme couponing as long as you realize those shows are very unrealistic IMO. They go way overboard with what they buy and to me it seems like such a waste to buy 100's of items you'll never use before expiring or ever at all.

Sonmetimes I watch those kind of shows and feel that Star Trek is far more realistic. They are fun but half the time I just can't take them seriously...Some of those people are border line hoarders..

[tjthemanto]

DH absolutely loves to save but hates to coupon. I used to coupon and enjoy doing it. It gave me the happiness. I am a SahM, hubby would Rather I go back to work but I am choosing to stay at home just so I can raise the kids(5,9). Anyways so he is mad at me bcaz I won't go work. I was watching extreme couponing last night as it gives me high just watching ppl save and he got all mad about it! Seriously what's his problem with saving! Why pay full price when u can get it free! I know couponing takes a lot of time and that's something I don't have but why can't I just watch it really and at him right now. I wish he was supportive like some awesome husbands here!


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Going back to work will give you an additional income , but if you factor in day care costs etc might not put you that far ahead

But it prevents your resume from having huge gaps in it , employers generally don't like it

[luckbealady]

Aww.

Well, Extreme Couponing is my guilty pleasure too! I realize it's unrealistic and that some of them commit coupon fraud (I feel bad for the stores), but I love watching them save!

[GeorgiaK]

You need a coupon that is good for things he likes or needs.
A coupon for tires.
A great Canadian Tire gas bar coupon for barbeque accessories, for example.
A coupon for discount entry to the Outdoorsman Show, example.

Then, he will be hooked.

This is how I got mine hooked. I had him hooked when I told him he was able to pricematch a Kitchenaid mixer he wanted to Canadian Tire and get 10% off the CDN Tire price in CT money! You should have seen the look on his face!

[BC Gal]

My DH got on board when he saw the savings. At first he thought I was crazy buying multiples of items and was sure I was spending too much. It took about four months before he really believed it and started loving my new found couponing ways.

Couponing doesn`t have to take up a lot of time. Even if you can`t spend the time to do it all, every bit you save is money you can spend on something else.

[Ciel]

There are men in the world who think they know all about money and that their families MUST see the worldview from their points of view (my father comes to mind). It can combine with control issues as well (my father comes to mind again) to the point that controlling spouses want their spouses to do as they say and put spouses down if their interests/goals are elsewhere.
As someone who has seen this in action, I have noticed even if controlling spouses get their way, they do not APPRECIATE or ACKNOWLEDGE that something was done as they wanted. Jerks.
OP, if you can talk with husband with what the financial issues are (bring a sheet showing how much daycare will cost if you go back to work and that BOTH of you will have to take turns collecting the kids), then do so. It is possible spouse may be angry about something else (maybe sees peers as two-income earners and feels a need to show you and he are capable of doing same) and is taking it out on you.
Advise you when you save money, if you physically have money left over from your shops, start building a savings bank account for something the family needs. Bank balances don't lie!

[GeorgiaK]

There are men in the world who think they know all about money and that their families MUST see the worldview from their points of view (my father comes to mind). It can combine with control issues as well (my father comes to mind again) to the point that controlling spouses want their spouses to do as they say and put spouses down if their interests/goals are elsewhere.
As someone who has seen this in action, I have noticed even if controlling spouses get their way, they do not APPRECIATE or ACKNOWLEDGE that something was done as they wanted. Jerks.
OP, if you can talk with husband with what the financial issues are (bring a sheet showing how much daycare will cost if you go back to work and that BOTH of you will have to take turns collecting the kids), then do so. It is possible spouse may be angry about something else (maybe sees peers as two-income earners and feels a need to show you and he are capable of doing same) and is taking it out on you.
Advise you when you save money, if you physically have money left over from your shops, start building a savings bank account for something the family needs. Bank balances don't lie!

This is how I convinced DH that I should only go back to work part time. I found a job in my field working regular office hours close to daycare and home 3 days per week. Since DH travels a fair bit, I do all the pick ups, drop offs and stuff around the house when he is absent. Those 2 extra days during the week while DS is in daycare is really needed to get stuff done.

The extra income would not have covered the cleaning lady I would have needed and the stress of trying to get everything done during the weekend. Sometimes, you need to look at the cost-benefit analysis of the economics of returning to work.

[luckbealady]

This is how I convinced DH that I should only go back to work part time. I found a job in my field working regular office hours close to daycare and home 3 days per week. Since DH travels a fair bit, I do all the pick ups, drop offs and stuff around the house when he is absent. Those 2 extra days during the week while DS is in daycare is really needed to get stuff done.

The extra income would not have covered the cleaning lady I would have needed and the stress of trying to get everything done during the weekend. Sometimes, you need to look at the cost-benefit analysis of the economics of returning to work.

You know, that's very true! I bet it's very likely that even if you did go back to work full time, he'd still expect you to keep the house clean, make meals, and help the kids with homework, etc. And then the complaints will be the cost of daycare, extra gas/transportation costs for getting to and from work.

Sometimes you can't win OP - you two just need to figure out what makes your family work, and what makes your family happy - a miserable mama means a miserable household