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Thread: Other parents judging :rant:

  1. #1
    Coupon ninja! Frugal Lisa's Avatar
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    I am beyond mad... I am sick of parents giving me dirty looks in stores. Don't be rude people... Think about what you are teaching your kids!!

    Okay, real story now. I am a young mom, no big deal my kids are spoiled and we are lucky to have my husband who works very hard to take care of us. Don't give me a dirty look when my eldest child calls me mom, it's not my fault you thought my almost 10 year old was my brother or something. I am a good mom and I live for my kids! I wish that more 'older parents' saw the sacrifices that we make for our children and how much we grow with them and for them. Don't judge us, support us who cares how old I was when I had him I am a mom and I feel like I deserve to be celebrated just like any other mom.

    Two weeks ago my son fell out of his loft bed and fractured his wrist, that night I pulled the mattress down off the bed he slept on the floor on his mattress (after the hospital visit) and first thing in the morning him and I went and bought him a new low bed. Imagine the looks I got than... He had bruises everywhere and a cast on his arm, by the looks I was getting I knew how people were judging me.

    To make matters worse, my three year old was cuddling with my dog this weekend (two weeks after incident with my ds). Usually that's a-ok they cuddle all the time, this time my cat jumped on the dog and the dog scratched my lo. She now has a big scratch and a black eye, omg, I am the worst mom ever based on the looks I am getting. Because obviously no child has ever gotten a black eye at three, they don't have accidents ever... Obviously...

    Anyways, my point is that I wish we all as parents supported each other and we weren't so quick to judge. We are all doing our best, and I realize how it looks when I bring out my kids one in a cast and one with a black eye but if you just watch me interact with my kids you would know that I am very loving.
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    My daughter had a serious blood disorder from the time she was two until almost three. She was covered in bruises from head to toe, and the looks I got, and sometimes even questions, were non-stop. I was an 'older mom'. My age didn't have anything to do.with people's reactions. I learned quickly.not to worry about what other people said, or about what I thought they were thinking. Just smile back at them and carry on with your day. Kids fall, get bumps and bruiuses on a regular basis.
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  3. #3
    🌙✨ Candini's Avatar
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    Last year my DD, myself and some family members went out to a restaurant. We were playing a game and she leaned forward and hit her face on the edge of the table, split her eyebrow open had to get stitches. Got so many dirty looks at the restaurant AND hospital. Not to mention felt like the worst parent ever when myself and 3 other nurses had to restrain her to get medicine, freeze her eye, calm her down because she was dry heaving from being scared AND hold her when she was getting stitches.

    Accidents happen. Lucky you if your kid gets to age 18 without breaking their arm or getting a black eye.

    I`ve learned from many occasions, not just these types of occurrences - that people suck! And people judge you if you're doing right or wrong.

    You know yourself better than some random stranger obviously. There's always that one a$$hole that feels the need to say whats on their mind.
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    CaToonie lghend's Avatar
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    A quick smile and a "Can I help you?" when you catch them staring will shut them up.

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    Trust me , its actually worse for older parents ( especially women ) , who had kids late in life , due to career , personal choices etc.

    Your kid doesn't even have to be injured for that , people will look at them and just assume that they are the grandparent's or something ..this is normal occurence for them like taking them to school , malls etc ..not just hospital/doctor visits.

    They will be asked rhetorical & sarcastic questions like " Is that YOUR KID " and not in a nice way

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    Canadian Genius Tweets77's Avatar
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    just do your best to ignore them...
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    Maybe they aren't at all thinking what you think they are thinking. Unless they actually say something to you, you don't know what they are thinking, so you might in fact be projecting your own thoughts on them when they aren't actually judging you. You are assuming they are judging you about your age, when in fact that may not be the case at all.

  8. #8
    Mia is offline
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    Try not to pay attention and proudly move forward.
    Last edited by Mia; Tue, Mar 11th, 2014 at 04:27 PM.
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    Coupon ninja! Frugal Lisa's Avatar
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    Thank you guys for all your thoughts. I appreciate it. I just wish as parents we didn't have to feel this way at all. I wish that we all supported each other. Stranger or not.
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  10. #10
    Coupify! Granger's Avatar
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    Aw Lisa! I feel your pain. I wish we were more supportive as human beings and be positive toward each other. I just bought my dream home and my sister is in love with a man that has a child from a previous relationship and we have family raining on our parades.
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    Canadian Guru scbpooh's Avatar
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    I know exactly how you feel. Im only 33 and I have a 16yr old (going on 17) and a 6yr old. we sometimes get double takes when DD calls me mom out in public. I either get the dirty looks of having a child that is that old while im the age Im am or I get the "oh I thought you 2 were sisters!" I like those, makes me feel younger! But its the ones who just give you a dirty look like Im scum for having such an older child!!!
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    Mastermind TooCouponCrazy's Avatar
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    People, in general, need to get off their pedestal and stop judging people they know nothing about. You know what kind of mom you are and so do your kids. So....let them look and talk, they are going to do that no matter what. Your kids will see you as their example and know better than to do that to others.

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    I also find that race, religion , culture & classism also plays some part in it
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  14. #14
    Shameless Reps FTW krysta lynne's Avatar
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    i used to get looks. im 29 and have a nine year old (ten this year) and a soon to be four year old. doesnt help my daughter looks like me and i still get carded lol

    best policy i find is either to say something to the staring people or ignore them. either way i wouldnt worry too much about their opinion. you know who you are and so do your kids. so screw the negativity!
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