Let's Discuss Life After Marriage!

[amira84]

Yesterday I got my Chatelaine Magazine June 2015 edition and while I was looking for coupons in the mag i came across this article about marriage. I really loved it and read it twice. I have underlined the things i liked the most and these are things, in my opinion, i can relate to myself.

I took pictures of this article for everyone to read here and share what did you like in it, what didn't you like in it....and most importantly.......what is the most useful, practical and touching advice anyone has ever given to you.

[amira84]

@walkonby . Can you plz fix these pictures. I am trying hard to fix them but so far no success.

[Mia001]

seems very interesting, this makes me seek for the magasine itself

thank you so much for sharing

[MortgageQueen]

I can't read sideways, but I will say the one thing I notice with todays marriages is they give up easily/don't make the effort to "Fix" what's broken. . .they just toss it away to start over again. Problem is, you just land yourself with a "different" set of problems or even the same ones. When you think about it, if you put a lot of time and effort into fixing something, it only becomes that much more valuable to you.

The reason I believe this is an issue, is people's lives are too jam packed and stressed out. . .so yes, they end up taking it out on each other. Also the media portrays marriage/relationships so unrealistically it's a joke. And people actually fall for it. I could go on, but you wouldn't want me to. . Lol!

[Darth Penguin]

I can't read sideways, but I will say the one thing I notice with todays marriages is they give up easily/don't make the effort to "Fix" what's broken. . .they just toss it away to start over again. Problem is, you just land yourself with a "different" set of problems or even the same ones. When you think about it, if you put a lot of time and effort into fixing something, it only becomes that much more valuable to you.

What time frame are you talking about????

How long a marriage lasts??

The inital date of the commitment???

The age of the couple??

How one or both members of "A Traditional Marriage " acts in a moral/physical/mental way towards their beloved??

A mariage has so many ways to fall apart..My RC grandparennts seperated after 10 years and 6 children. They lived totally seperate lives from the mid 1950s to the death of my grandad in 1978.. but hey..They were still "married"...Guess that counts as a win for Marirage....

[Angela273]

I'm reading this on my phone, so I'm commenting to find it later.

[walkonby]

sorry amira, I was not on sc yesterday at all ( I think? ) one day blends into the next for me. Here is part of the underlined text you posted , the other half of it I had to scan separate.....

[TaraF]

I find that first part to be so true, we often hurt those that mean the most to us because they are the ones that we can be ourselves with and we take it for granted that they love us for all of our flaws and will forgive us.


1. Fake it 'til you make it - This is pretty much my life motto. It seriously helps me get through rough times, and it has helped my husband and I endure rough times together. It beats "duck and run!" lol

2. Pick your battles - My Mom was the one who told me there is no point in starting an argument with your husband over not taking the trash out when you can get off your butt and do it yourself.

I agree with MQ though that people seem to treat marriage anymore (for lack of better terms) as disposable. It's sad really.

[bargain_hunter_lola]

Interesting article, thanks for posting. Thanks WOB for turning the pages! I looked at this thread the other day but couldn't read the article sideways so now I'm back. lol

The one part of the article that really stood out for me was:

"This doesn't mean we shouldn't be able to relax or let our guard down in our own homes, but the opposite: that in order to create a feeling of safety and joy in our relationships, we should strive to be more patient, more understanding, more empathic and more fun with our chosen partners than anyone else. Because isn't that the whole point of companionship?"

I really agree with this point, to me it's the most important part of the article.

Thanks again for the interesting read!

[Lynn49]

Well, after almost 45 years of being married to a wonderful, although not totally un-flawed man, married to a not totally un-flawed woman, the expression, "Don't sweat the small stuff...it's all small stuff.", rings pretty true. I'm quite sure that he finds things I say or do just as annoying as those things I find him say or do, but over-all, we're both darn patient with each other and accept that neither one of us is perfect; never thought we were. "Please" and " thank-you" are never forgotten...we never take each other for granted. He'd never consider making himself a coffee at night without asking if he could make one for me, too ....in short, we look after each other. It's what we promised each other when we married and we took that promise seriously. We've been through some extremely trying times, but instead of pulling apart, we held together and came through it. And heading into old age (eventually!), we'll be facing more physical challenges, but we know that whatever happens, we'll each be the compassionate, supportive partner the other needs. It's just the way it has always been...always will be.

[SnowFlakey]

Well said Lynn49!

Hubby and i always have a `sit down and talk about things` time every day. Find a time convenient for both of you and just talk. You would be surprised at the outcome.

[Lynn49]

Well said Lynn49!

Hubby and i always have a `sit down and talk about things` time every day. Find a time convenient for both of you and just talk. You would be surprised at the outcome.

Thanks, SnowFlakey...seems like you and your hubby are fortunate to have mastered the art of communication within a marriage. And nothing surprises me anymore, Sweetie....
Have a lovely day, you two!!

[annedougherty]

I didn't read this, but the part about patience and understanding...you can be as patient and understanding as you want, if you are with an ***hole, you are with an ***hole. After years of experience, I don't believe in making anything work. You need to be with someone you are truly compatible with in the first place. And if you aren't then for the love of god don't get married in the first place.

[Lynn49]

I didn't read this, but the part about patience and understanding...you can be as patient and understanding as you want, if you are with an ***hole, you are with an ***hole. After years of experience, I don't believe in making anything work. You need to be with someone you are truly compatible with in the first place. And if you aren't then for the love of god don't get married in the first place.

No one's arguing with that, Anne...yes, the trick is to choose someone who loves and respects you and treats you as an equal partner in a relationship. But even the best of marriages require communication, not arguing (yes, we don't argue). And I agree...anyone who marries a jerk thinking "he'll change" is just wrong, and she must get out of that relationship asap; unfortunately for many women, it's not that easy.

[amira84]

I didn't read this, but the part about patience and understanding...you can be as patient and understanding as you want, if you are with an ***hole, you are with an ***hole. After years of experience, I don't believe in making anything work. You need to be with someone you are truly compatible with in the first place. And if you aren't then for the love of god don't get married in the first place.

But people don't act like a**holes before getting married. A lot of things change after getting married and, in fact, a lot of things change with time. But what should we do when things are not going smoothly.

And @SnowFlakey and @Lynn49 . Are you talking about husbands or horses? Your hubby listens to you? Mine gets sleepy when i want to talk to him......
Where did you get that kind of hubby?


I learned a lot of good things from this article. In fact i am going to remove this page from the magazine and paste it on my wall infront of my stove so that i keep looking at it and keep reminding myself to be cool..... cool minded. And present the best side of you most of the time.

We have been married for 7 yrs now by the grace of God.... and now we have reached to a point where we argue on things but don't take it to heart. We get angry but after sometime we start talking/joking... but most of the time i feel that my kids (include hubby in kids too) take me for granted. They don't listen to me until i yell and ask them to listen to me. And that reminds me of my childhood...we used to do the same thing with our mom. My poor mommy!

Pretend to be someone you like..... i always wanted to be like my mom... she hardly got angry at others, always cool minded, praying for us, her kids, her hubby....always found place in prayers when things aren't going smoothly.... that's what i want to pretend like and eventually turn into my mom, i wish and God willing..