Is this proper etiquette or tacky?

[harbie]

So I am hosting a simple appy type get together for my parents 50th anniversary ( my mom would freak out if we did a big party so we're keeping it smaller and simpler for her). Anyways, I will be making all the food so my question is "Is it tacky to write on the invite something like ' please bring a bottle of your favorite wine or other beverage to celebrate with the couple' ???

All the 50th parties that they have been invited to in the last couple of months (there have been 3 of them) have asked that the guests bring an appy and to report what they plan to bring so they wouldn't have duplicates and then they also gave $ in a collection for the couple so that's why I think it's ok to ask to bring a bottle of wine or other bevies.

ETA, there will be about 20 people. I will be doing some amazing decor in a shabby chic/winery kind of theme. Mason jars and wine crates kind of thing( gotta love Pinterest ) which will cost a fair bit plus since I'm doing all the food.

What at do you think?

[walkonby]

harbie, I think your parents are very fortunate that you are doing this as low key as possible ( for your Mom's sake ) but you are still making it quite special and memorable and the decor you have planned sounds lovely, maybe post a pic or two later?
I cannot imagine guests that would feel insulted in any way ( especially if some of these guests were the guest of honour at their own party ) by you suggesting they bring a beverage along. Seems like a small request. Hope it all goes smoothly for you, and Happy 50th Anniversary to your parents!

[frugal50]

we' re alos doing a 50th for my parents
my mother wants a big elaborate party
but we are keeping it at 50+
cash bar
fancy menu
not happy taht it will cost me money$$$$

[Natalka]

Since you have said it's been acceptable for other similar parties, go ahead and add BYOB.

Here, that wouldn't be done - when one hosts an event party, one provides everything.

Exceptions would be casual family/friends get-togethers when people contribute some food and sometimes bring their own booze.

How fortunate they are to have 50 years together! Wishing them many more!

[bargain_hunter_lola]

I don't think it's tacky, especially if others in your area/social group have already done so.

It's pretty common here to come to a dinner party with some sort hostess gift so the wine/drink would fall into that category to me.

Sounds like it's going to be a small intimate affair so I'm sure people won't mind brining wine, especially if they plan on drinking a few glasses.

Congrats to your parents and kudos to you for throwing the party!

[harbie]

Thanks for the replies.

I would also be supplying both alcoholic and non alcoholic drinks so instead of their friends giving them gifts since they don't need anything and are in the process of organize their home for sale after living their for 40 years. They really don't need anything as they have all they need and more

While it will be casual it is still going to be a classy affair, so not a backyard BBQ kind of thing. I just want to makes sure that they don't end up with a lot of "stuff" they don't need and they also really enjoy a nice bottle of wine and that's something they could use lol

This is the level of decor I'm planning

[sweetmomma]

Love your ideas! I am sure guests will love all the effort and creativity you have put into the celebration.

[Lynn49]

Harbie, your party sounds lovely and your parents are very fortunate to have you plan and host it for them. It sounds like an intimate affair for their very close friends and I think that if you word your invitation to read something like, "In lieu of a gift, please bring a bottle of your favourite wine and label it from you; they'll remember this party and toast you when they share it with each other in their 51st year of marriage!"
Enjoy your party!

[harbie]

Harbie, your party sounds lovely and your parents are very fortunate to have you plan and host it for them. It sounds like an intimate affair for their very close friends and I think that if you word your invitation to read something like, "In lieu of a gift, please bring a bottle of your favourite wine and label it from you; they'll remember this party and toast you when they share it with each other in their 51st year of marriage!"
Enjoy your party!

That's it! Thats the wording I wanted to use. Instead of "please". Thanks Lynn

[MortgageQueen]

Lynn's idea is perfect.
Harbie, we have friends in common as we know. If they think that's tacky, they should be ashamed of themselves. We don't burden hosts unnecessarily for the sake of our own entertainment. I would consider it a privilege and honour to bring a nice bottle of wine.
Your party plans sound awesome and I hope you are blessed with wonderful memories and association with all of you loved ones.

[ticul]

OMG, your parents will be so happy as you are doing something very special for them. They are fortunate to have you. No, it is not tacky for them to bring something. Now these days most peoples bring something when going for a little party. Oh, and your decor is wonderful and I know every one will have a hell of a good time. Congrats your parent as 50 year together it is something to celebrate. I wish you a beautiful celebration and of course a wonderful sunny day.......................................

[bargain_hunter_lola]

I also like Lynn's wording. If they know the wine is in place of a gift then it certainly isn't tacky. I'd think it would be a relief for many people to know what to bring.

Such a pretty theme! Love the pictures!

[dahliagrower]

I agree with lola ... I think most people would prefer the direction rather than to show up with something that's redundant Looks like a terrific theme.

[VeeVee]

You had me confused with your first post, I thought you wanted people to bring drinks for themselves to drink haha
I LOVE the way Lynne worded it and would not think it tacky at all if I got an invite that asked me to bring a bottle of wine for the happy couple! Very nice idea, I hope it all works out!
Happy 50 years to your parents and wishing them 50 more!

[harbie]

You had me confused with your first post, I thought you wanted people to bring drinks for themselves to drink haha

Lol, sorry. I just didn't word it properly

Thanks everyone and MortgagQueen, I knew you'd understand