need your opinion please

[Mia001]

everything would be perfect for mom at the residence
but,

there is an aid who is not nice at all with the residents, she is rude and mom fears her.....the ''lady'' is a former employe of the public

home care system and she always remind that to the residents so, they feel is means ''shot your mouth, i know what to do'' but in fact, she is not doing right at all.....she even told mom that everyone find her (mom) demanding.... i know that is not true, mom try her best to do as much as she can by herself but, she needs help for almost everything....so...????

all the others are very nice and mom is getting along , have fun with and really appreciate them

what to do ?????, that is worrying me, mom and other resident as well do not deserve being bullying

[SassyAshley]

Is there a manager or supervisor you can speak with above this person? I know year ago when my grandfather was in a home there was one nurse that always stopped him from doing his daily routine which was approved by the home he was in as she was not aware and he got very upset but it. Our family was able to speak to a supervisor who showed the nurse what he was and was not allowed to do and he was able to go back to his daily routine.

[secheltsaver]

I am in B.C.,and I have worked in complex care for 27 years in a 50 bed residential care "nursing home". I have worked with many new hires who meet the minimum skill set required,but have not got "the hang of things". It sounds to me like this person is new to giving this level of care,despite having previous related experience.There is likely a communication issue where your mom's directions are being interpreted as demands, not requests for help.People interact in different ways,and often misinterpret what the other one says or does,depending on their own personal bias.Tones of voice,speech patterns and cultural differences can be misinterpreted easily by people under stress.
If your mom has a particular routine,it should be detailed step by step in her care plan,which is an individualized guide detailing a residents needs and routine.It should say things like how she gets in and out of bed(independent + unsupervised:1 person partial assist,mechanical lift etc),whether she has to wear a pad for incontinence (or uses toilet/commode),if she needs help dressing,washing,eating,etc.,etc. This should be posted at her bedside for quick reference by all staff.It ensures consistent,safe and proper care and eliminates the need for the resident to tell staff the same thing over and over again.Constantly having the resident give directions to staff can be frustrating for both people,and creates a negative environment of "you do this,like that,I want this,give me that".Your mom and care giver should be spending her "staff time" chatting pleasantly about the days events or other small talk while "work" gets done.
If your mom is mentally competent and able to communicate,she should be the one to talk to the head nurse or director of care.It may be that there are ways to avoid having this aide provide your mom with care,if they are not getting along.
I often switch with co-workers who are having "trouble" with one of their residents,the reasons can vary from sexually inappropriate male patients picking on younger nurses to particular,precise routines that,if done wrong,upset the resident and ruin their day.
I hope your mom and her "problem" care aide find some common ground and mutual respect soon.

[Lynn49]

Mia, not exactly the same issue, but when something needed looking into, I formed a "committee" of other care-givers (relatives of the residents...ie: us) and we went directly to the head of the residence and held a meeting with him. It's true there's power in numbers and if others are having the same issues, do it together.
There is NO WAY your Mom has to put up with any of her nonsense~~~!

[MortgageQueen]

I agree with most everyone else. Try to resolve the issue diplomatically first, but be firm if you have to be. Last resort would be a nanny-cam to capture the bad behavior.

[Mia001]

i think mom, as picky and non tolerant she can be sometimes, got her ( the care giver) in her hand....lol

[Skippy]

I hope and pray that everything has been resolved.

[Mia001]

happy ending.......for us and the other residents, they fired her

i heard they had many complaints from residents

i feel sorry for her as she needs her job, but in the other hand , she was rude with the residents and to me it was not her place working with people who need care , security and peace

hoping now, she will re-think her carrier