Spanking..... child abuse or acceptable punishment?

[kaela]

my mother didn't spank me, but she made me nervous. i was kept in line with other methods, use of middle name was the warning. to this very day i pay attention. sometimes emotional abuse is much worse, when i was young i used to pray for a slap. i would be grounded for weeks and months at a time and there was no reprieve. i learned early to listen and behave. i don't agree with hitting children but one should be very careful what they substitute it with.

[vibrantflame]

I think there is a time and a place for spanking. And spanking should never be done in anger or frustration. There are times where I spank my son but he is at an age where he does not always listen or understand what I am telling him. I think the older a child gets, the less spanking should be necessary because they will grow old enough to get the point of time outs and other methods of discipline. And for me, I only spank once. If it doesn't work then I feel it won't work if I do it again. And I always use it as a last resort (i.e when I've put my over-excited son back in bed 10 times and he still doesn't get the point that he needs to calm down and go to sleep)

[ergo2]

mostly i just ground them. i have spanked once or twice years ago , but when i talk and explain they seem to be fine.

[twenty47]

As i was growing up I was spanked and I didn't like it. As mentioned in previous posts, it put fear in me and I feared my father very much. But mind you this fear stopped me from doing a lot of bad things that I knew my father wouldn't accept so it may have helped me think about my actions more and mature a bit faster. Unfortunately this didn't work that great with my brother's as the middle boy just said getting spanked wont kill me.....

I don't think spanking is child abuse as long as it's not used to harm the child (spanking repeatedly until the child is very hurt, or spanking with a belt or other object). I think if spanking is your form of discipline that it should be used only to alarm the child, not to hurt them.

Personally i do not spank my son but did ONCE. This one time I spanked him, it was one swat on the bum because he was just going to stick a fork into the electrical outlet. It took everything out of me not to cry as he began crying and I had to lay down and take a time out to calm myself down because I know I was hurting more than he. Other than that day, my son's butt has been spank free, I don't think I can go through that again. But he's never tried to stick anything in the outlets again as he probably remebered the conseqeunces.

[swouper2]

I wouldn't want to be spanked.

But given the choice of a spanking or a near-fatal electric shock, I'd take the spanking, too!

[frugiedh]

child abuse... and it doesn't work.
There is no grey area here of when it might be okay or with how much force is used. You need to make a commitment to not hit your child ever and stick to it.

[batman1978_]

I was spanked as a child, by my mom. Never my father. I don't feel that I grew up with any sort of problems.

I've only spanked my child 1 time, and it was of absolute importance. She flooded my house. I don't like to spank, I don't agree with weapons of any sort (ie, belt, wooden spoon) I felt as well that when this happened it wasn't the act of spanking that she was crying, but rather that she knew it was just not tollorated. I find different words get me the same result. I know my daughter just can't stand to be told she's terriable at something. So I find that when she does something that would normally require a spank, I talk to her and say "you know that was just terriable what you did." She understands, and I never have that issue again. My daugher is also 9 and is able to comprehend, and compromise and that makes a difference.

[blackpup]

My mom only used physical parenting on me once. I was 12 and she slapped me in the face. I slapped her right back. She really did not expect it. And did not know how to react. Never happened again. She was involed in an abusive relationship at the time, guess she took it out on me. Before and after that incident, her words & the look were enough to keep me in line. She was also abused as a child, I'm thankful that she only used that form of discipline once.