helping a friend in need??

[Esquao]

the other night i went to see an old roommate. We met for coffee. She recently had a baby, and almost died of complications.

she lost her car, and has creditors after her. She is now on assistance. She was telling me she wants to pay her creditors, but cant. I told her they cant touch her if shes on assistance.

So when we met, we seemed to connect. It was nice.
So she gave me a list of things she needed help with.
_transportation, food, baby stuff, pampers, formula.
so i came home and went through my coupons, and made an envelope for her, dropped them off with a bag of pampers i paid 4.99 for with coupons.

When i dropped em off, she was kinda..indifferent..not herself. She kinda turned her nose up at the few huggies jeans diapers i put in there for her baby boy. Thought it would be cute.

So tonight i see this post on her facebook page saying..
"I've looked through coupons and is it really worth it to buy multiple items (that are prepackaged and full of salt and preservatives) totaling $10 to save a buck? I got better deals shopping at superstore buying fresh items. Hurray for superstore and sobey's dollar days!"

I feel upset about this, so needed to get some advice. today i went and traded 2 x $5 goodstart coupons for 2x$5 similac cheques for her baby. (I could use the goodstart coupons)-Now im not sure i should even help her at all...



What do you all think?
Thanks!

[Poirot]

I wouldn't bother helping her.Help people who would appreciate it.

[mhk]

So ignorant. And RUDE!!! Well, sorry, but no wonder she has creditors coming after her. What she needs is an education in how to use money - not spend it willy nilly. Well done Esquao for trying, but trade the similac coupons back for the goodstart for your baby.

I feel sorry for her baby.....

[mhk]

So ignorant. And RUDE!!! Well, sorry, but no wonder she has creditors coming after her. What she needs is an education in how to use money - not spend it willy nilly. Well done Esquao for trying, but trade the similac coupons back for the goodstart for your baby.

I feel sorry for her baby.....

[mhk]

Agree with Poirot. No wonder she has creditors after her. Feel sorry for her baby though..

[frugalkitty]

It was rude of her, but I have to wonder if she was touched by what you did, some people shut down and also embarrassed. The fact that she would seem indifferent to you dropping of diapers seems odd. Sometimes when people are not where they want to be in life they lash out.

Hopefully we will see her here soon and she can coupon how she wants to.

I get a bit tired of the oh couponing is for "crappy" products argument. I DO not sustain myself on processed foods at all and I do fine.

Glad she is doing so well at dollar days and what not that she had to provide you with a list of what she needs...good thing she can find them at Superstore and dollardays.

Personally I'd give her the link to this site and let her take care of it herself..."teach a man to fish"

[katysmuma]

Thats to bad this happened, I can only imagine how you feel. but some people in life are takers and some are givers, you have a big heart!! I dont understand why she would give you a list and then snub you at your generosity. but as frugal kitty says and it is true teach a man to fish and he will eat forever!

[Daisiefire]

That's too bad..rude, especially if she had you as a friend on FB. even without food the formula and diapers alone are worth couponing. I can look, I think I have goodstart if you decide to trade the similac..my stockpile is almost finished..the indifference over diapers is confusing. Maybe pride taking over..pride doesn't put food on the table

[ArmyWifeEdmonton]

I think some people have an attitude that life owes them when they are experiencing difficulties. Instead of taking the help they do have, they get greedy and feel they deserve better. Sure they do,we all deserve better. But what makes us different is the effort we are willing to put in to get better. Sometimes the best thing you can do is let them struggle and figure out how much they want it for themselves. Good on you to have the generosity to think of others. I would wait and see, now that ou planted the seed

[Rika]

I think armywife hit the nail on the head so to speak... I have tried to help out friends in similar situations and got the same type of response.... there are a lot of different personalities out there in the world

[RedEng]

I started couponing when my sister's hubby was out of work for almost of year. They have 3 kids and money was getting tight, but they wouldn't accept cash. However, she did appreciate any free stuff. She felt she was too busy to do it herself though. Her hubby has a job now and they are back on their feet. Couponing is not for her, but my mom and I combined were able to help a little bit with coupons and without her feeling like she owed anything in return.

As for your friend, although she gave you a verbal slap in the face, it sounds like she needs a friend. She may be feeling down with the weather, postpartum and lack of sleep. Don't give up on her yet, if not for her for her baby.

Thanks for caring.

[flyinghands]

I think some people have an attitude that life owes them when they are experiencing difficulties. Instead of taking the help they do have, they get greedy and feel they deserve better. Sure they do,we all deserve better. But what makes us different is the effort we are willing to put in to get better. Sometimes the best thing you can do is let them struggle and figure out how much they want it for themselves. Good on you to have the generosity to think of others. I would wait and see, now that ou planted the seed

Agree with this wholeheartedly. You did a great thing by trying to help her out, now it's up to her to take it or not.

[Tweetybird999]

Agree with this wholeheartedly. You did a great thing by trying to help her out, now it's up to her to take it or not.

I agree completely as well. Do things to teach people to fix their own problems and let them take it or leave it. It's pretty rude for someone to post such a thing on FB, so I think her judgment is off in a number of areas.

[Orual]

I do agree, there are a number of people who only want help on their terms. Many who really just want to be given things, and don't want to learn how to take care of themselves. Sometimes it's just better to leave them be, as you may end up sucked into doing what you are not comfortable with, and sometimes it ends up making things worse.

[renaymudaliar]

I agree with all of you, we all face a difficult time in our lives and should be grateful to people who are out there that just want to help. We are all responsible for our own actions.The situation your friend is in, only she knows what she goes through but when help is needed take what is offered.

Remember the story Jayden Smith tells Will Smith when they are in need for a place to sleep. If you dont, here is what he tells his dad.

" There was a man drowning in the lake and he called out "help me God Im drowning oh please help me. Two bulls came walking by and asked do you need help we can pull you out. The man replies, no its okay GOD will help me. So the man kept calling out to GOD help me god help me I am drowning. The two bulls came by again and said are you sure you dont want our help we can save you.. the man got angry and said no I told you.God will help me. Poor man died, when he went to heaven he asks GOD 'why didnt you help me GOD I was drowning and you never saved me. GOD says " I did help you ,you dummy, I sent the two bulls to help and you declined there help twice"

Lesson behind this story, I'm sure you all know..