Points And Prizes - Sheknows

[haunish]

I just applied online to canada post.

I really do appreciate all the help!!

[newsnakeowner1978]

Few jokes fer ya. lol Get a few in before the end of the month when I will be logging off for awhile sniff sniff. lol


The economy is so bad that...

Jewish women are marrying for love.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you
call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their
children's names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

The most highly paid job now is jury duty.

People in Africa are donating money to Americans.

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

The Mafia is laying off judges..

And finally...

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal.
Hey, neat! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated
by the people who made $750 Billion disappear!



The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite
fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).
These boys will be dropped off in Afghanistan and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1.The season opened today

2. There is no limit.

3. They taste just like chicken.

4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus.

5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in Afghanistan to be over by Friday



A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his
applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome.
The employer read all his applications and said, "We have an opening
for people like you."
"Oh, great," he said, "What is it?"
"It's called the door!"


Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home,
And when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car
onto the freeway.



It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten.
They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.



Why don't cowboys make good lovers?
Because they think a good ride is eight seconds.
(Are you a cowboy SHAMAN??? HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA sry couldnt' resist.)


Why are chickens so ugly?
You would be too if you had a pecker hanging out of your forehead!
================================================== ====================

A man walks into a bar with a monkey he had just bought at the pet store.
He sits down at the bar and orders a beer. The monkey jumps down off his
shoulder and runs over to the pool table and ate the cue-ball.
The bartender said "Your monkey just ate the cue-ball!!!
GET OUT NOW!!" the man left.
Two months later the same man comes back with the monkey on a leash. The
monkey jumps off his shoulder and grabs a peanut, shoves it up his ass,
pulls it out then eats it"
The bartender said " Did your monkey just shove a peanut up his ass then
eat it?"
The man says "Yeah ever since the cue-ball incident he checks everything
for size"
================================================== ====================

Two blonde gals went together to play the slot machines at the casino.
Each agreed that when her allotted money was gone, she would go to the
front of the casino and sit on the bench to wait for the
other.
Trixie quickly lost all her money and went to sit on the bench.
She waited and waited. After what seemed an eternity, she finally saw
Patty coming toward her, carrying this huge sack of coins.
"Hey, Trixie," said Patty, "how'd you do?"
"Not very good," came the reply. "I've been waiting here for hours."
Patty said: "You should have been with me . . . did I
ever find a good machine! It's way in the back. Come! I'll show it
to you . . . you can't lose! Ever time you put a dollar in, you win
four quarters!"
================================================== ====================

SHE WAS SO BLONDE THAT SHE ...

1. Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.

2. Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a
slope.

3. Can't work in a pharmacy because the bottles won't fit into the
typewriter.

4. Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and
the box said "2 to 4 years".

5. Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.
================================================== ====================


Doing the missionary position does not mean you have sex in a church.
================================================== ====================

A recent study found that 35% of men have been injured while undoing a
woman's bra. That's correct. While unfastening a woman's stabilizing
device, men have received strained tendons, scratches, and other
similar injuries. Actually, I can vouch for that. I got injured today while
trying to undo a woman's bra. When I undid the woman in front of me in
the checkout line, she turned and hit me with a can of peas.
================================================== ====================

Two friends meet in the office of one of them, a notorious techo-geek.
"Hey, bud, how are ya?" "I'm good. Congratulations, that new secretary
of yours is beautiful!" "Well, I'm glad you like her. Believe it or
not, she's a robot! "No way, how could that be?"

"Way! She's the latest model from Japan. Lemme tell you how she works.
If you squeeze her left tit, she takes dictation. If you squeeze her
right tit, she types a letter. And that's not all, she can have sex,
too!" "Holy ! You're kidding, right?" "No, she's something, huh?
Tell you what, you can even borrow her"

So, his friend takes her into the restroom and is in there with her for
a while. Suddenly, he hears him screaming "Eeeeyaaaaa! Heeelp" Ooooooh!
Aaaaaaah! Eeeeeeeeeeeaaargghhhh!" The guy says, "! I forgot to tell
him her ass is a pencil sharpener!"
================================================== ====================

A man goes to the doctors for surgery and notices the woman next to him
has the skin off both of her knees.
What happened to you, fell off your bike?
"No" she replies, "doggy style"
"Dirty cow, you'll have to do it from the front next time"
"I would" she replies." but the dog's breath smells terrible"
================================================== ====================

The results of a recent survey have been released.
It was a poll on how women felt about the size of their ass.

The findings of the study are very interesting:

85% of women think their ass is too big.

10% of women think their ass is too small.

5% of women say that they don't care, they love him and would have
married him anyway.
================================================== ====================

Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of
the night?"
Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."
Wife to husband: "What? At 2 a.m?!"
Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs."
================================================== ====================

Why is a joke like pu$$y?
Neither is any fun if you dont get it !!
================================================== ====================

Two drunk blondes are stranded in the middle of nowhere trying to get
home. The first blonde needs to take a piss bad so she tromps off into
the bushes.
After almost 10 minutes the second blonde begins to get worried and
heads into the field to look for the first. She walks for almost a
kilometer until she finally finds the first blonde.... kneeling beneath
a horse, sucking its cock.
"What in the world are you doing that for???" asks the second blonde.
The first blonde sucks her lips away from the huge cock and drools,
"Hold on, I think I may be able to get us a free ride home!"
================================================== ====================

Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
You can park in the handicap zone.

What don't blonds wear red lipstick?
Because it means stop wrong hole.
================================================== ====================

A city slicker moves to the country and decides he's going to take up
farming. He heads to the local co-op and tells the man, "Give me 100
baby chickens." The co-op man complies.

A week later the man returns and says, "Give me 200 baby chickens." The
co-op man complies.

Again, a week later the man returns. This time he says, "Give me 500
baby chickens."

"Wow!" the co-op man replies. "You must really be doing well!"

"Naw," said the man with a sigh. "I'm either planting them too deep or
too far apart!"


This last one is a oldie but a classic. I laff me arse off everytime I reads it. lol

Joe woke up one morning with an enormous boner and looked for his
wife, but she had awakened and was preparing breakfast in the kitchen.
Joe was afraid he might spoil things by getting up, so he called his
little boy and sent this note to his wife:

THE TENT POLE IS UP,
THE CANVAS IS SPREAD,
THE HELL WITH BREAKFAST,
COME BACK TO BED.

The wife answered the note and sent it back by the boy. It read:

TAKE THE TENT POLE DOWN
PUT THE CANVAS AWAY
THE MONKEY HAD A HEMORRHAGE
NO CIRCUS TODAY.

So he sent another note down. It read:

THE TENT POLE'S STILL UP
AND THE CANVAS STILL SPREAD
SO DROP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND
COME GIVE ME SOME HEAD

To which she replied:

I'M SURE THAT YOUR POLE'S THE BEST IN THE LAND
BUT I'M BUSY RIGHT NOW SO DO IT BY HAND !
================================================== ====================

[Grey]

PointsandPrizes.com Keyword: BUBLE worth 100 points good through 8/20/09.

PointsandPrizes.com Keyword: SMURFTALES worth 100 points good through 8/20/09.

[roseofblack25]

ok another question about filling out applications...what does it mean when asks for professional references? I dont even remeber what to put for references are they people you know or people you worked with?

I havent had a job since 2000...I dont even remember what I got paid at my old jobs, so just putting min wage at time ...feel lost..lol


on another note for my tattoo its either my arm or side of calf..any one have one on their calf..did it hurt its gonna be all black and grey..have one on arm and was fine but this is bigger so wonder ing how bad the leg will hurt

my friend got a huge all black and white tat on her calf a few years ago and she told me she almost fell asleep laying there for hours but the only thing she told me ever hurt her was her wrist tat

she has me scared to get the one I want too cause she told me I was too skinny and would feel it bad no matter where I get one

[Grey]

PointsandPrizes.com Keyword: EXPECTTHEBEST worth 100 points good through 8/20/09.

PointsandPrizes.com Keyword: LADYJASMINE worth 100 points good through 8/20/09.

PointsandPrizes.com Keyword: LEVERAGE worth 100 points good through 8/20/09.

[haunish]

my friend got a huge all black and white tat on her calf a few years ago and she told me she almost fell asleep laying there for hours but the only thing she told me ever hurt her was her wrist tat

she has me scared to get the one I want too cause she told me I was too skinny and would feel it bad no matter where I get one

well I got one on my bicep and did fall asleep..lol..and i got one one each of my shoulders which were ok , one on my wrist which I didnt mind at all, I do have one on my ankle and that hurt like a son of a b.... ..maybe its pain tolerance..so far leaning to my other arm just because on my leg will have to keep up and will bug me going to gym

[jodew71]

swagcode alert!!

[roseofblack25]

well I got one on my bicep and did fall asleep..lol..and i got one one each of my shoulders which were ok , one on my wrist which I didnt mind at all, I do have one on my ankle and that hurt like a son of a b.... ..maybe its pain tolerance..so far leaning to my other arm just because on my leg will have to keep up and will bug me going to gym

I want one badly but I'm afraid I would be too much of a wuss LOL and I am very skinny like all bones so I am thinking its going to hurt me a lot more than it hurt her

[Purple_Everything]

Thanks for the words $$$

[jknmomma]

thanks for the words $$$wise

[haunish]

dropped resume off at pharmasave and had an interview right away...hope thats a good sign

[stardreamer7880]

Good luck Haunish!

OMG Amy so glad your alright hope the elbow calms down soon!

[stardreamer7880]

babyg congrats on 2nd place the winner only got you by 8 votes so sorry it wasn't 1st though

[babygonnermann]

babyg congrats on 2nd place the winner only got you by 8 votes so sorry it wasn't 1st though

Thank you. I didn't even know that picture existed, so ..... I was a little taken by surprise. They have an "official" page and a secondary page. The other pic was on the official page, and ours was on the secondary page.

At least we still got something!! I think the other people got votes in the last couple of days because the message did say that they came from behind .

Thanks again to everyone on here that voted!!

[haunish]

off to get my tattoo..I am so nervous..always am just before hope it doesnt hurt too much