The "I Need Candy, and so Do you" Ra Ra RIOT Thread ♥☼ (v2.0)

[kool_105]

Dummy Request

cellphone store | Fort Collins, CO, USA
(We have dummy displays set up of all the phones we sell.)
Me: “Hello sir, can I help you with a new cell phone today?”
Customer: “No. I’m just looking for a new battery for my phone.”
Me: “Sorry, but we don’t carry batteries for cell phones. You might try the battery store across the street.”
Customer: “How much to buy one of the displays?”
Me: “Well those are just dummy phones.”
Customer: “I know that. I just want to take the battery from it.”

[GoJays]

[kool_105]

Bad Parenting Is A Sticky Fingered Subject

Frozen Yogurt Shop | San Luis Obispo, CA, USA
(I work at a self-serve frozen yogurt shop, where people get their own yogurt and toppings then pay by weight.)
Customer: “Excuse me, you should be supervising this store. These kids are putting their fingers in the toppings. It’s not clean!”
(I look around for a parent, but there seems to be nobody else of suitable age in the shop.)
Me: “Are these your children?”
Customer: “Yes, but you should be supervising them! It’s your job!”

[GoJays]

[kool_105]

Not The Cream Of The Crop

call center | UK
Me: “Thanks for calling [credit card company], how can I help you today?”
Caller: “I bought my crops on Farmville using your card. I forgot to water them and they’ve all died. Am I covered on purchase protection for that?”
Me: “Seriously?”
Caller: “I thought you’d be like that. Thanks anyway.” *click*

[GoJays]

[kool_105]

Explanations As Clear As Water

Pool Supply | Ottawa, ON, Canada
Me: “Thank you for calling [Pool Store], how may I help?”
Caller: “How much would a new pump be for my pool?”
Me: “Have you got an in-ground or an above-ground?”
Caller: *long pause* “I don’t know.”
Me: “You don’t know?”
Caller: “No! How could I?”
Me: “Alright. Go into your back yard, and run at the pool. If you fall in, it’s probably an in-ground. If you bounce off, it’s an above-ground.”

[kool_105]

A Picture Perfect Resolution

Drug Store | Lakewood, NJ, USA
Me: “Hello, sir. How can I help you?”
Customer: “I came in a couple hours ago to pick up my pictures, and my wife says we’re 17 pictures short! This always happens when we come here! Is it really so hard to keep track of one f***ing order?”
(The customer continues to rant for several minutes, getting louder and more obscene. The phone rings.)
Me: “Thank you for calling [store], how may I help you?”
Caller: “I was in there an hour and a half ago and the dumb*** in front of me left 17 pictures on the counter that I accidentally took home with my pictures. What kind of moron leaves pictures on the counter?”
(I hand the phone to the irate customer.)
Me: “It’s for you.”

[GoJays]

[kool_105]

[kool_105]

[GoJays]

[kool_105]

[kool_105]

[GoJays]