The "I Need Candy, and so Do you" Ra Ra RIOT Thread ♥☼ (v2.0)

[Redneck Charger]

What does a recent high school dropout and the Leafs team have in common?
They’re both young, have no goals and no good prospects.

What’s the difference between an eight-ball of cocaine and a Leaf game?
Someone suggests an intervention and you feel an incredible sense of guilt and shame when someone finds out you spent $150 bucks on a Leaf game.

What do a criminal court judge and the coach of the Maple Leafs have in common? They both sit behind a bench, watch an endless parade of losers go by, and wonder if they are actually making a difference.

What do the universe and the Leafs payroll have in common?
They’re both expanding rapidly and nobody knows why.

What’s the difference between the Toronto Raptors and the Toronto Maple Leafs? The Raptors shoot at a net.

What’s the difference between the Air Canada Centre and a red light district?
In a red light district, you pay $300 bucks and somebody scores.

What do a TV sitcom and the Toronto Maple Leafs have in common?
They’re full of jokes, last about 20 minutes and then go into reruns.

What’s the difference between Air Miles and the Toronto Maple Leafs?
Air Miles earn points.

What does the show Mad Men and the Toronto Maple Leafs have in common?
They’re both obsessed with succeeding in the 1960s.

Why do the Leafs suck at geometry?
Because they never have any points.

What do a fine wine and the Maple Leafs have in common?
They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much and are only enjoyed on select occasions.

What do the Leafs team and a pace car have in common?
They both go around in circles, aren’t involved in the race and are passed by all the competitors.

What do college students and the Maple Leafs have in common?
They’ve both finished their year by April.

[Redneck Charger]

What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
A: They both look good until they hit the ice.

What's the difference between the Toronto Maple Leafs and a cigarette vending machine?
A: The vending machine has Players!

Why are the Toronto Maple Leafs like Canada Post?
A: They both wear uniforms and don't deliver!

Why doesn't Hamilton have an NHL team?
A: Because then Toronto would want one too

What do you call 30 millionaires sitting around a TV watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs?
A. The Toronto Maple Leafs.

What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 20,000 people stand up and yell '%%#+!+!$%%@+'. (hey zeus chris t)

What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

This guy says to the bartender, “Can my dog and I watch the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey game here? My cable is out, and my dog and I always watch the game together.”

The bartender replies, “Normally, dogs wouldn’t be allowed in my bar, but it’s not very busy right now, so you and the dog can have a seat at the end of the bar. But, if there’s any trouble with you or the dog, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

The guy agrees, and he and his dog start watching the game. Pretty soon, the Leafs manage to score a goal and the excited dog jumps up on the bar, barks loudly, does a back flip and runs over to the bartender and gives him a high-five.

The bartender says, “Wow, that’s pretty cool! What does he do when they win a game ?”

The guys answers, “No Idea, I’ve only had him for 3 years.”

The last time the Maple Leafs won the Stanley Cup most of their fans were in diapers.


Coincidentally, the next time they win it those same fans will be back in diapers again!

[Natalka]

[okgirl]

[heartgirl99]

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[Redneck Charger]

[heartgirl99]

[Redneck Charger]