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Thread: Last Poster Wins $15

  1. #62191
    Member of rep ho-ing club kelly25's Avatar
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    Bye then, I'll keep the place in order for now

  2. #62192
    heartgirl99 heartgirl99's Avatar
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    see ya jays

  3. #62193
    Misanthrope GoJays's Avatar
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    fantastic, i knew i could count on you, kelly
    goodnight friends

  4. #62194
    heartgirl99 heartgirl99's Avatar
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    night jays

  5. #62195
    heartgirl99 heartgirl99's Avatar
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    night night


  6. #62196
    Coupon Goddess princesskimmi's Avatar
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    good night ladies - now I'll be last for a while

  7. #62197
    heartgirl99 heartgirl99's Avatar
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    Name:  garfield_mornings.jpg
Views: 104
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    attitash and walkonby like this.

  8. #62198
    ('.') feetfrown's Avatar
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    last

  9. #62199
    Mastermind win-star's Avatar
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    good mornin' SC!!!!!!

  10. #62200
    Misanthrope GoJays's Avatar
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    last

  11. #62201
    Master Baiter electric_viking's Avatar
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    under jays, last
    walkonby likes this.
    I can't profess to understand God's plan. Christ promised the resurrection of the dead. I just thought he had something a little different in mind.

  12. #62202
    Canadian Genius attitash's Avatar
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    We all have been here ladies!!!! Enjoy!!!!!!

    When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take up your place in line.
    Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

    Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.
    You get in only to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants!
    The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt ) is handy, but empty.

    You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape
    it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR !), yank down
    your pants, and assume " The Stance."

    In this position your aging, toneless (sigh! I should have gone to the gym!!!) thigh muscles begin to shake.
    You'd love to sit down, but you can't since you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper
    on it, so you hold "The Stance".

    To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind,
    you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat first, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!"
    Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse .
    (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That will have
    to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. (It's still smaller than your thumbnail) when someone pushes your door open because
    (remember) the latch doesn't work.
    The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest , and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet.
    "OCCUPIED!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, losing your footing altogether,
    and sliding down directly onto the TOILET SEAT... and..... It is wet of course.

    You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered
    seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try.
    You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat
    because, 'frankly, dear', "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get".

    By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the
    inside of the bowl which then sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes.
    The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.
    At this point, you give up.. ....You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d.
    You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket! and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks, where, you can't figure out
    how to operate the faucets with those automatic sensors, ..... so.... you give up and spit on your hands and wipe with a dry paper towel
    and walk past the line of women still waiting with as much dignity as you can muster at this point.

    You are no longer able to smile politely to them .....when a kind soul at the very end of the line points out there is a piece of toilet
    paper trailing from your shoe . ( Where WAS that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's
    hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this".

    As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom.

    Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?" ...........


    This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!).
    It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women
    go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse, and hand you Kleenex under the door!

    Send this to all women that understand what bonding in the bathroom is all about!
    A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...
    Hard to Find...
    Supportive....
    Comfortable ...
    Always Lifts You Up...
    Never Lets You Down, or Leaves You Hanging,
    And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!
    walkonby likes this.

  13. #62203
    Misanthrope GoJays's Avatar
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    hmm.. last

  14. #62204
    Coupon Goddess princesskimmi's Avatar
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    ^ love it attitash!! Hey if you need a snow fix - Whistler has Glacier Skiing til the end of July - You can golf and ski in the same day out here!!

    Good morning everyone!!

  15. #62205
    Misanthrope GoJays's Avatar
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    pfft.. snow

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