I sure will..and when I do..he'll purr like mad..he is the best cat I have ever had (other than he likes to sneek up at night and lick the tip of my nose..eww):rolleyes:
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Returned from running some errands & made it into a cycling trip as well. Some big winds out there!
SIMPLE TRUTH 1
Partners help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story:
In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.
SIMPLE TRUTH 2
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and saying "congrats".
But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say "Good job".
Moral of the story:
"Hard work is never appreciated”No Underwear - Makes Sense to Me
A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.
'Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!' he exclaimed.
The old man looked off in the distance without answering.
'Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?' He asked again.
The old man slowly looked at him and said,
'Well....last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck."This is your grandma's idea."
It's Not Easy being a Court Reporter - It can be hard keeping a straight face!
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said , 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor , isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep , he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son , the 20-year-old , how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20 , much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you ting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None..
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them.. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral , OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral..
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not , he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No...
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
[QUOTE=Mmmme...;4090971]Thank you Wolfie.....
He is not my type...
On the other hand.....Robert Urich ..... sigh....
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he reminds me of Johnathan Frakes.. I miss Star Trek:bawling:
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The truth about rainbows ... http://i1110.photobucket.com/albums/...edmiDetail.png
Good afternoon. Thank for the laughs, especially Rocklobster & Waynethegolfer
Elmo good luck with taxes
Naturebug am I glad Bayview is opening the southbound traffic has been bypassing the detours and filtering though my area. Like you it was hell to get home.
I hope to wrap up China before the soon though it’s hard to cut down from 850 to 20 or so. Thought our picture taking skills do help a lot. From Shanghai we flew to Beijing. It was very foggy and was for the next few days. We kept saying it was pollution as it had slight brown tinge to it but the last two days we had blue skies. Anyways from the airport they took us to the first temple. The Temple of Heaven. The Temple is the round building but had many ornate buildings surrounding it. After the temple is was time to go to our hotel. This like the first one was first class. It is called the Pennsula and another five star. Way out of my league. You walk in the front door and there are three floors of stores that I have never been in my life. Tiffany’s, Tom Ford, Valentino, every high end store is in this hotel. Seems a little silly since for the last few days you have bargaining for $10 watches. We stopped and ate on the way to the hotel so we go up and unpack in some very nice rooms, maybe not as nice as the last one but close. Ruth is beat so she stays in, so Ross a friend on the tour decides its time for a few beers. First stop the lobby bar ordered two Heinekens that comes to $22 bucks. So after deciding that’s the last beer in this place it’s off to find a cheaper place. We ended up across the street at what looked to be a bar. We walked through the door and were greeted by six to ten girls who were offering more than we looking. After we slowly left, we found a large market place were the street is closed off for pedestrians. We were hit on by at least 5 different girls offering beer and favours in just the four blocks we walked to get to the place. Right at the corner was a store for our Wolf lovers. And we found a nice place for a beer on patio to sit and watch the people go, before going back and crashing
Has the song of the day been played yet?
Hello everyone! its been a few days or more. Wishing everyone belated Happy birthdays that I missed .. hope everyone is getting better. and for the rest that are on holidays hope your enjoying them..
those are some awesome pics knottythots. thanx so much for sharing. i doubt i'll ever get to china, but i can see it thru your pics.