User Tag List

Page 2783 of 11781 FirstFirst ... 1783 2283 2683 2733 2773 2781 2782 2783 2784 2785 2793 2833 2883 3283 3783 ... LastLast
Results 41,731 to 41,745 of 176705
Like Tree1334446Likes

Thread: Club Q Q107-Loyalty Club (Southern ON Only) v4

  1. #41731
    Mastermind the H team's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    acton
    Posts
    44,695
    Likes Received
    171682
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    i think this has been posted before, but not sure. thought it was hilarious so if it has been, sorry, but enjoy the chuckle anyway. i'm sure there's a few of us that can relate to it.




    Before reading this, take a deep breath.......


    While conducting some business at the Courthouse, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say, "Your Honor, I'm guilty but.....there were extenuating circumstances."

    The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear those extenuating circumstances." I did too soooo…… I listened as the lady told her story.

    "Your Honor, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and crooned, "Hi! I'm Belinda! All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?"

    I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science."
    Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

    With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?" Fine, I answered.

    I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap!

    Complete darkness, the power was off!

    Belinda said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag." Then she headed for the door.

    "Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted.

    Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back."

    Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, "maintenance men Extraordinaire" found me...half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!

    After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

    Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible, "Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway."

    "OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

    Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin.
    Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry!
    The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"

    And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps...."

    The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said "Case Dismissed".

    Last edited by the H team; Thu, May 10th, 2012 at 10:01 AM.
    NASCAR SEASON is complete for 2021.
    Kyle Larson wins his 1st Nascar Championship.

    nascar:a way of life
    everything else is just a game

  2. #41732
    Mastermind the H team's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    acton
    Posts
    44,695
    Likes Received
    171682
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    Quote Originally Posted by TO_Harley View Post
    Good morning all. Sorry to have been AWOL for awhile but have had a busy couple of days. My father passed away early yesterday morning. He had been in hospital since last Friday and was not doing well. We got the call at 1:00 am Wed morning, and I took my mother to be with him. We were by his side when he went peacefully at 3:30.
    RIP Dad.
    my deepest sympathies on the passing of your father.
    my thoughts & prayers are with you & your family.



    NASCAR SEASON is complete for 2021.
    Kyle Larson wins his 1st Nascar Championship.

    nascar:a way of life
    everything else is just a game

  3. #41733
    Smart Canuck ic_ou812's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Niagara
    Posts
    3,063
    Likes Received
    2322
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    Quote Originally Posted by TO_Harley View Post
    Good morning all. Sorry to have been AWOL for awhile but have had a busy couple of days. My father passed away early yesterday morning. He had been in hospital since last Friday and was not doing well. We got the call at 1:00 am Wed morning, and I took my mother to be with him. We were by his side when he went peacefully at 3:30.
    RIP Dad.
    sorry to hear about your loss..our thoughts are with you and your family...

  4. #41734
    Smart Canuck ic_ou812's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Niagara
    Posts
    3,063
    Likes Received
    2322
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    pfww is destruction

  5. #41735
    Canadian Guru Lee03's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Mississauga
    Posts
    11,693
    Likes Received
    68217
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    pf password: destruction

  6. #41736
    Smart Canuck Wallie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Oshawa
    Posts
    4,311
    Likes Received
    15191
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    PFWW is destruction

  7. #41737
    Mastermind the H team's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    acton
    Posts
    44,695
    Likes Received
    171682
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    PFWW-destruction
    NASCAR SEASON is complete for 2021.
    Kyle Larson wins his 1st Nascar Championship.

    nascar:a way of life
    everything else is just a game

  8. #41738
    heartgirl99 heartgirl99's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    555,100
    Likes Received
    224684
    Trading Score
    4 (100%)




    password ===>destruction
    WolfDio, Lee03, Karl Stiel and 2 others like this.

  9. #41739
    Canadian Guru Lee03's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Mississauga
    Posts
    11,693
    Likes Received
    68217
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    Quote Originally Posted by TO_Harley View Post
    Good morning all. Sorry to have been AWOL for awhile but have had a busy couple of days. My father passed away early yesterday morning. He had been in hospital since last Friday and was not doing well. We got the call at 1:00 am Wed morning, and I took my mother to be with him. We were by his side when he went peacefully at 3:30.
    RIP Dad.
    so sorry for your loss TO Harley... my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family...

  10. #41740
    Septuagenarian The Jester's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Scarborough West
    Posts
    11,000
    Likes Received
    100135
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    Quote Originally Posted by TO_Harley View Post
    Good morning all. Sorry to have been AWOL for awhile but have had a busy couple of days. My father passed away early yesterday morning. He had been in hospital since last Friday and was not doing well. We got the call at 1:00 am Wed morning, and I took my mother to be with him. We were by his side when he went peacefully at 3:30.
    RIP Dad.
    My condolences to you and your family. To have been together at the peaceful end was a blessing of sorts. Give yourself time to grieve.

  11. #41741
    Mastermind the H team's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    acton
    Posts
    44,695
    Likes Received
    171682
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    PFWW-apocalypse
    Last edited by the H team; Thu, May 10th, 2012 at 11:34 AM.
    NASCAR SEASON is complete for 2021.
    Kyle Larson wins his 1st Nascar Championship.

    nascar:a way of life
    everything else is just a game

  12. #41742
    Smart Canuck Wallie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Oshawa
    Posts
    4,311
    Likes Received
    15191
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    PFWW is apocalypse
    Last edited by Wallie; Thu, May 10th, 2012 at 11:31 AM.

  13. #41743
    Canadian Guru Lee03's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Mississauga
    Posts
    11,693
    Likes Received
    68217
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    pf password: apocalypse

  14. #41744
    Smart Canuck ic_ou812's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Niagara
    Posts
    3,063
    Likes Received
    2322
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    pfww is apocalypse

  15. #41745
    heartgirl99 heartgirl99's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    555,100
    Likes Received
    224684
    Trading Score
    4 (100%)




    Password===>apocalypse

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 9 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 9 guests)

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •