Club Q Q107-Loyalty Club (Southern ON Only) v4

[WolfDio]

Oil Change instructions for Women:

1. Pull up to Car Dealership when the mileage reaches 3,000 miles since the last oil change.

2. Drink a cup of coffee.

3. 15 minutes later, scan debit card & leave, driving a properly maintained vehicle.

Money spent:

Oil Change:$24.00

Coffee: Complementary

TOTAL: $24.00


Oil Change instructions for Men:

1. Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store & buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner & a scented tree; use your debit card for $50.00.

2. Stop by Beer Store & buy a case of beer, (debit $24), drive home.

3. Open a beer & drink it.

4. Jack truck up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6. In frustration, open another beer & drink it.

7. Place drain pan under engine.

8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

9. Give up & use crescent wrench.

10. Unscrew drain plug.

11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on yourself in process. Cuss.

12. Crawl out from under truck to wipe hot oil off face & arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.

13. Have another beer while watching oil drain.

14. Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.

15. Give up; crawl under truck & hammer a screwdriver through oil filter & twist off..

16. Crawl out from under truck with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.

17. Install new oil filter, making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.

18. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

19. Remember drain plug from step 11.

20. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

21. Drink beer.

22. Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.

23. Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.

24. Crawl under truck, getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame, removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.

25. Begin cussing fit.

26. Throw stupid crescent wrench.

27. Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit truck and left dent.

28. Beer.

29. Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.

30. Beer.

31. Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.

32. Beer.

33. Lower truck from jack stands.

34. Move truck back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.

35. Beer.

36. Test drive truck.

37. Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.

38. Truck gets impounded.

39. Call loving wife, make bail.

40. 12 hours later, get truck from impound yard.

Money spent:

Parts: $50.00

DUI: $2,500.00

Impound fee: $75.00

Bail: $1,500.00

Beer: $20.00

TOTAL: $4,145.00


But you know the job was done right!

[Babygirl1]

and woooooooo hold on a sec...give us snow addicts some recognition for giving you such a deliciously warm summer....
Attitash and I humbly accept your thanks....cash donated towards heli skiing in the Rockies - totally welcomed..if you include postage we will foward a postcard

GREAT POST I FEEL COOLER ALREADY

[Babygirl1]

Cheque is in the mail!

WTGGOOD COME BACK

[SillyLoocie]

Thanks for all the anniversary wishes.
xxxx

Too bad I didn't make a cake to share with everyone.

[WolfDio]

Has NE1 got there Passes 4 the Q bash yet.

I have, but did not receive my Email yet.
So, I guess that means, "No".

[rock lobster]

Congratulations on your three years Loocie.
Year three is leather.
What do you think of this choice ......... too tame ??
Thought so.

[WolfDio]

....wow, look at those dinner manglers....why don't you and your pack make a nice meal out of her?....actually, maybe not....who knows what toxins you might ingest, and we'd hate to lose our Wolfie...TR

Oh, what the Heck...
Could not cause much more than the Trots.
I seem to "Owe" the Warden at Times.

Just need a Supply of Beer to help mask the taste!!

[the H team]

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.'

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.'

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?'


(you're gonna love this)


The bank manager looks back at her and says...

'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone.'

(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........)

Never take life too seriously! Come on now, you grinned, I know youdid!!!


Have a lovely day

[Babygirl1]

By any other name ...

THERE IS KATIE HOMES COUCH JUMPING MONKEY TOM CRUISE HUSBAND TOO, IF ITS ANY HELP I THINK THATS HOW IT'S SPELLED, NEVER PAY ATTENTION NOT A FAN OF HIM HAVE A GREAT DAY GOING SOON GOT THINGS TO DO, TALK AT YA ALL LATER... OH BTW TQ & TO ALL WHO HELPED WITH MY BLUE ♥♥'S YOUR ALL JUST SO AMAZING PEOPLE THANKS I'M SO TOUCHED TO TEARS JUST KNOWING YOU ALL CARE LIKE I CARE FOR ALL YOUR HEART ♥ & EVERY ONE HERE IS & HAS SUCH HEARTS FILLED WITH TONS OF KINDNESS & LOVE & JOY. THANK YOU EVERYONE I LOVE YOU ALL WHAT A FAMILY WE ALL ARE.. THE LOVE & KINDNESS WE GIVE TO EACH & EVERYONE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TO THE CLUBS WE ALL HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER STILL ON HERE SC-NUCKS FRIENDS FOREVER. SORRY IM ALL CHOKED UP BUT SO HAPPY TOO TO ALL.. HAVE A GREAT HUMP DAY TO ALL FROM EVERY CLUB YOU ALL ROCK THANK YOU FOR JUST BEING THERE FOR ME OR ANYONE WHO NEEDS US. GOD BLESS YOU sweet:

[tad01]

My three year anniversary of being a so called Smart Canuckette,
Sometimes I wonder what I am doing but I haven’t figured that out yet,
I chatter, I natter & I sometimes post pics,
I prattle, seen battle & talked about flicks,
Sometimes I say just what’s on my mind,
Even wrote prose about things that are lined,
Upon reflecting about things I’ve learned here,
It is a place where so many have come to endear,
We’ve had our differences & an occasional kerfuffle,
& times when we should have opted to muffle,
We’ve had many join us & blend nicely into our little fold,
We’ve have folks who were banned for being too bold,
We’ve had loss; we’ve had triumphs & some very lucky winners,
We’ve given tips & welcomed many Smart Canuck beginners,
Some of our one time greats we all miss dearly,
& that is a statement that I make more sincerely,
Your resident poet sometimes thinks about retiring,
But I keep coming back, cause you’re all so inspiring,
I certainly didn’t intend to post daily at such a feverish pitch,
& being a Smart Canuck has certainly not made me rich,
Thanks to you all for always knowing the right things to say,
As sometimes we all need a boost to brighten our day,
Although our “Q” thread may see some changes,
We can still come here for our pleasant exchanges.
I think I have likely said so much more than enough,
Now off you all go to enjoy your day & strut your delightful stuff,

Happy Anniversary Loocie!

[kenrod]

Good morning fellow Canucks!

I haven't had time to goof off at work until now. I'll go over today's messages and collect some trivia and drop off a round reps now.

Have a great Peak of the Week folks!

[the H team]

Thanks for all the anniversary wishes.
xxxx

Too bad I didn't make a cake to share with everyone.

here's one we all can share with our resident poetic.

[ecat444]

Happy wishes for your three years on here Loocie!!! We all enjoy your wit and great poems. Have a nice day!

[kenrod]

Happy anniversary Loocie!

[Babygirl1]

This is supposed to look like a snowflake ...

IT KIND OF DOES, NOW THAT YOU SAID THAT!! NOW WHEN YOU LOOK AT IS DOES LOOK LIKE ONE ALL SNOWFLAKES ARE NEVER EVER THE SAME ANY WAY RIGHT GOOD JOB WTG...

WELL NO SUN TODAY YET & NO RAIN EITHER BUT DARN IT'S SO DAM MUGGY/STICKY NEED A RINCE NOW IN SHOWER JUST TO GET THIS FEELING OFF & TURN AC BACK ON I GUESS... GETTING CLOSE TO 27 HERE & HUMIDITY IS GETTING HIGHER AGAIN OH WELL A SHOWER YESTERDAY THEN A RINCE BEFORE BED I WAS COLD NO JOKE HAD SHOWER EARLY AGAIN TODAY ALREADY, NOW JUST A HOT RINCE TO COOL THE BODY CORE DOWN THAT KEEPS ME SO MUCH COOLER. THEN I MAY NEED A RINCE BEFORE SOME REST TONIGHT OR LATE THIS AFTERNOON, BUT SHOULD BE GOOD WITH THE AC AGAIN ON WELL MR SELLS I CAN IT SEE IT AS A SNOW FLAKE. SO NO WORRIES THERE IT'S COOL