User Tag List

Page 8461 of 11781 FirstFirst ... 7461 7961 8361 8411 8451 8459 8460 8461 8462 8463 8471 8511 8561 8961 9461 ... LastLast
Results 126,901 to 126,915 of 176703
Like Tree1334442Likes

Thread: Club Q Q107-Loyalty Club (Southern ON Only) v4

  1. #126901
    Septuagenarian The Jester's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Scarborough West
    Posts
    11,000
    Likes Received
    100135
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH


    Two boys were walking home from Sunday school

    after hearing a strong preaching on the devil.

    One said to the other, 'What do you think aboutall this Satan stuff?'

    The other boy replied, 'Well, you know howSanta Claus turned out.

    It's probably just your Dad..'
    >
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~


    >

    >
    Three boys are in the school yard bragging abouttheir fathers.

    The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words

    on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.'

    The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dadscribbles a few words

    on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.'

    The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dadscribbles a few words

    on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!'

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    >

    >
    An elderly woman died last month.

    Having never married, she requested no malepallbearers.

    In her handwritten instructions for her memorialservice, she wrote,

    'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive,

    I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.'

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~

  2. #126902
    Evelyn ecat444's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Beaches, Toronto
    Posts
    13,357
    Likes Received
    57958
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)






  3. #126903
    Mastermind the H team's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    acton
    Posts
    44,695
    Likes Received
    171682
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    Quote Originally Posted by 22hicks View Post

    And I just won Jays tickets on The Fan. So, we need a 3rd winner today.

    Great start to hump day.

    WTG 22! nice win
    NASCAR SEASON is complete for 2021.
    Kyle Larson wins his 1st Nascar Championship.

    nascar:a way of life
    everything else is just a game

  4. #126904
    Evelyn ecat444's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    Beaches, Toronto
    Posts
    13,357
    Likes Received
    57958
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    Congrats to you both 22 and wolfie! Enjoy the game and the concert I'm sure you will.

    What questions did you have to answer Wolfie?


  5. #126905
    Septuagenarian The Jester's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Scarborough West
    Posts
    11,000
    Likes Received
    100135
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone."

    Immediately, the husband drove down town to confront the chemist, and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the chemist told him, "Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it."

    "This morning the alarm clock failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realise that I'd locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys. "

    "Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tyre. "

    "When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, all the time the darn phone was ringing."

    He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of 10p coins against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the coins and the phone was still ringing.

    When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke."

    "Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a Rectal thermometer."

    "And believe me Mr, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her."

  6. #126906
    Septuagenarian The Jester's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Scarborough West
    Posts
    11,000
    Likes Received
    100135
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    MERGER TIPS FOR 2015


    For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.

















    Watch for these consolidations in 2015:

















    1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

















    2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.

















    3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.

















    4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.

















    5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

















    6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.

















    7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.

















    8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!

















    And finally....

















    9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: TittyTittyBangBang

  7. #126907
    Berndawg Berndawg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Toronto, Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    1,212
    Likes Received
    5246
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    Who got the plant answers I still dont have them

  8. #126908
    Berndawg Berndawg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Toronto, Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    1,212
    Likes Received
    5246
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    Yeah to the lucky winners.

  9. #126909
    Septuagenarian The Jester's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Scarborough West
    Posts
    11,000
    Likes Received
    100135
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    Harry grew up & became a smart canuck:

    A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of
    her students.
    The teacher asked,
    'Harry, what's your problem?'
    Harry answered, '
    I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in





    the 3rd grade and I'm smarter Than she is! I think I should be in



    the 3rd grade too!'



    Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
    While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what




    The situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed



    to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave.
    She agreed.
    Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.




    Principal:
    'What is 3 x 3?'

    Harry:

    '9.'

    Principal:
    'What is
    6 x 6?'
    Harry:
    '36.'




    And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd



    grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her,
    'I think Harry can go to the 3rd
    grade.'

    Ms. Brooks says to the principal,

    'Let me ask him some questions.'

    The principal and Harry both agreed.




    Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only



    two of?'
    Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'
    Ms Brooks:
    'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

    The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!




    Harry replied: 'Pockets.'

    Ms. Brooks:
    'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'




    Harry: 'Pants..'

    Ms. Brooks:
    What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy and oval '




    Harry: 'Coconut.'



    The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.



    Ms. Brooks:
    'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'




    The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop



    the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble-gum.'



    Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does



    sitting down and a dog Does on three legs?'



    Harry: 'Shake hands.'



    The principal was trembling.



    Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'



    Harry: 'Firetruck.'



    The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,
    'Put Harry in the fifth-grade,.................... I got the last seven questions wrong.....'























  10. #126910
    Still keeping the faith SillyLoocie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Near Toronto
    Posts
    29,339
    Likes Received
    68053
    Trading Score
    4 (100%)






    Nothing jazzy, nothing fancy just a lunch that's quick,
    You can choose your sandwich, all you do is take your pick,
    You'll need to have some change to put in the slot,
    & I hear the roast beef is quite decent & the mustard is pretty hot,
    If it's grilled cheese that you desire that selection is up to you,
    Create your very own sandwich, all yours to chomp & chew,
    I hope the lettuce isn’t wilted & the pickles still have crunch,
    Nor am I sure what to expect from a sandwich machine lunch,
    Maybe you fancy a BLT or meatballs that are sweet & sour,
    Just don’t take long to make up your mind if you only have an hour,
    I just might try a reuben or go for the smoked turkey,
    & for all you spicy sandwich lovers, I recommend the beef jerky.

  11. #126911
    Septuagenarian The Jester's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Scarborough West
    Posts
    11,000
    Likes Received
    100135
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)





    apropos or what?

  12. #126912
    Smart Canuck GMAN's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    West Hill
    Posts
    1,239
    Likes Received
    10990
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    Name:  Qotd.jpeg
Views: 237
Size:  83.6 KB

  13. #126913
    Canadian Guru WolfDio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    North York
    Posts
    15,557
    Likes Received
    75373
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    Robert Plant Quiz Answers:


    Quote Originally Posted by heartgirl99 View Post
    Good luck, qts!


    He’s been voted as the greatest voice in rock and one of the best lead singers of all time. Now you and three friends could score floor tickets to see Robert Plant on June 7th.
    Correctly answer the Robert Plant quiz below. If you ace it, you’ll have a shot at winning an epic night out for you and three friends. You’ll get picked by A Celebrity Limousine and taken away for a pre-show dinner at Smith Brothers Steakhouse Tavern. Then you’re heading over to Amphitheatre to see the show!
    Q107 presents Robert Plant & the Sensational Space Shifters on June 7th at the Molson Canadian Amphitheatre.







    What was Robert Plant training to be and quit after only two weeks? * =============== chartered accountant

    Before becoming Led Zeppelin what was the band initially called? * ================= the new yardbirds

    Plant did not start writing song lyrics with Led Zeppelin until the making of what album? * === led zeppelin II

    What 2 Queen songs did Plant sing at The Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert in 1992? * ====== thank you ; crazy little thing called love

    On September 20, 2010, National Public Radio named Plant what? * ================= one of the "50 Great Voices" in the world



    re: "what 2 Queen songs....."--
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fre...ribute_Concert

    1. Queen + Robert Plant – "Innuendo (including parts of "Kashmir"), "Thank You" (intro), "Crazy Little Thing Called Love"
    Quote Originally Posted by WolfDio View Post
    What 2 Queen songs did Plant sing at The Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert in 1992? * ======
    Should be Innuendo & Crazy Little Thing Called Love


    I live in a Cartoon World as I am surrounded by Characters.

  14. #126914
    Canadian Guru dededi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Location
    Near Apsley On for the summer
    Posts
    16,831
    Likes Received
    78207
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    Quote Originally Posted by GMAN View Post
    Good Morning All. Today is SENIOR HEALTH AND FITNESS DAY.
    It's a great way for senior's to stay fit and feel younger.Name:  ca48b3904b7cba36fd1d7bd641677a91.jpg
Views: 283
Size:  41.1 KB
    ROMEO, 22hicks, WolfDio and 3 others like this.

  15. #126915
    Canadian Guru dededi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Location
    Near Apsley On for the summer
    Posts
    16,831
    Likes Received
    78207
    Trading Score
    0 (0%)




    Name:  funny-dating-quotes-4.jpg
Views: 874
Size:  48.6 KB Sooooo true.
    ROMEO, 22hicks, WolfDio and 5 others like this.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 4 users browsing this thread. (1 members and 3 guests)

  1. Seo-Ul-Nep

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •