Grieving Father

[jjwbuster]

My mother passed away a couple of weeks ago. We had family and friends come from overseas and all across Canada. Yesterday the last of the visitors left and now Dad is alone. My son will be going to stay a couple of days a week with him to help with the transition of being alone.

Today I called and he is still in bed. He says he is very tired and was going through some of mom's stuff last night. I wish I could help him but I know that he needs to go through the grieving process.

I don't want to be too intrusive but any suggestions as to how I can be there for him without being overly helpful. Also, we live 45 minutes away so visiting everyday is not possible.

BTW, my father is very independent and involved in his community so it isn't that he has had an isolated life. He was the main caregiver the past few months when my mother became ill and wouldn't leave her side and wouldn't accept any help. He hasn't wanted to go into any crowds (i.e. Church, etc.) because he doesn't think he is ready to handle this type of setting.

[Janey]

I wish I had a suggestion to offer you, but I think just making sure he knows that you are there for him is all that you can really do. Surely he already senses the void in his life emotionally, but if he was her main caregiver, he will obviously have a drastic change to his daily routine as well. I think that change makes one constantly aware of the emotional loss. Good luck to you in supporting him.

[kanda]

I think you hit the nail on the head...it's a very sad process that he has to experience. It's the only way that he will, one day, be able to move on with his life. Let him know that you are there for him at any time of the day or night. Try to make and freeze meals for him so that he will have food if he forgets to shop or doesn't feel up to it.

My heart goes out to you.