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Thu, Mar 11th, 2010, 10:01 PM #42076
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
- Location
- Scarborough
- Posts
- 6,338
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- 194
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- 0 (0%)
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Thu, Mar 11th, 2010, 10:03 PM #42077
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
- Location
- West of GTA
- Posts
- 15,635
- Likes Received
- 2855
- Trading Score
- 2 (100%)
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Thu, Mar 11th, 2010, 10:05 PM #42078
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
- Location
- Scarborough
- Posts
- 6,338
- Likes Received
- 194
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- 0 (0%)
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Thu, Mar 11th, 2010, 10:10 PM #42079
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
- Location
- Scarborough
- Age
- 58
- Posts
- 2,304
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- 0
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- 0 (0%)
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Thu, Mar 11th, 2010, 10:11 PM #42080
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
- Location
- West of GTA
- Posts
- 15,635
- Likes Received
- 2855
- Trading Score
- 2 (100%)
Is it a slow night in here or is my brain frozen too?
It's OK, no response is needed!
At my recent assault trial, I offered a plea of "Guilty with an explanation."
The judge asked me what my explanation was, so I told my story..
"Your Honor," I said, "I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually
kept. I was met with: 'Hi! I'm Belinda!' This perky clipboard carrier
smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, 'All
I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the
waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?'
I'm thinking, 'Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science.'
Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.
With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the
left and said, 'Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a
tad so we can get everything?' 'Fine', I answered. I was freezing,
bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in
my legs and neck and finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern
that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4
inch pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt a zap!
Complete darkness and the power went off! 'Oh, maintenance is working.
Bet they hit a snag.' Belinda said, and headed for the door. 'Excuse
me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?' I shouted.
Belinda kept going and said, 'Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide
open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back.'
Before I could shout 'NOOOO!' she disappeared. And that's exactly how
Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me .....
half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the
other part smashed between glass! After exchanging a polite 'Hi,
how's it going' type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my
utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off. Trying to disguise my
hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible 'Uh, yes, yes I
did thanks.' 'You bet, take care' Bubba replied and waved good-bye as
though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.
Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making
no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, 'Oh I am sooo sorry!'
The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?'
And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the
clamps....."
The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said 'Case Dismissed!!'...
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Thu, Mar 11th, 2010, 10:14 PM #42081
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
- Location
- Scarborough
- Posts
- 6,338
- Likes Received
- 194
- Trading Score
- 0 (0%)
Phil Kessel scores the overtime winner to lift the Maple Leafs to a 4-3 win over the Tampa Bay Lightning.
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Thu, Mar 11th, 2010, 10:18 PM #42082
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
- Location
- Scarborough
- Posts
- 6,338
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- 194
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- 0 (0%)
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Thu, Mar 11th, 2010, 10:20 PM #42083
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
- Location
- Scarborough
- Posts
- 6,338
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- 194
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Our 2010 "Calendar of Events" page is now ON-LINE! We have without a doubt made plans that will make it worth the trip! If you like cars then you'll love this! Starting May 12th, Wednesday Night Cruises are back for the 16th year! From 5:00pm to dusk you can see spectacular vehicles of all ages, makes and models. The BIG NEWS this year is that after 15 years of running our cruise with a 1979 cut off year we have decided its time to add some newer classics. So this year 1985 and older cars will be allowed into our classic car cruise. Of course, we will still have our "special interest" section for newer cars. Take a peek at some of our previous Cruises
For the 9th year, "The Thursday night motorcycle cruise-in" is back. The first eight years were a roaring success! With about 1000 bikes attending weekly, Haugen's has quickly become the place to be on Thursday Nights for anyone interested in Custom Motorcycles. Take a look at last years Cruises
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Thu, Mar 11th, 2010, 10:33 PM #42084
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- Mississauga
- Posts
- 4,604
- Likes Received
- 6739
- Trading Score
- 0 (0%)
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Thu, Mar 11th, 2010, 10:36 PM #42085
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
- Location
- North York
- Posts
- 15,557
- Likes Received
- 75373
- Trading Score
- 0 (0%)
I'm glad to hear that; nor was I implying the comparison!
It was more of the... ah... temperment that I was concerned about.
And no, that is in no way a candid reflection of drunken nights past.
Not a true representation of myself. {PHEW!!}
And this guy probably dances better than me.
I live in a Cartoon World as I am surrounded by Characters.
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Thu, Mar 11th, 2010, 10:49 PM #42086
- Join Date
- Mar 2010
- Location
- Port Perry
- Posts
- 1,523
- Likes Received
- 324
- Trading Score
- 0 (0%)
wow theres more cars there then thre are people in port perry. Actually looks like a day of ice fishing with all the huts on the lake. similar anyway.
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Thu, Mar 11th, 2010, 10:49 PM #42087
- Join Date
- Jun 2008
- Location
- Toronto
- Posts
- 16,849
- Likes Received
- 23749
- Trading Score
- 17 (100%)
Nightly Recap
Trivia
City - A
Hoax - A
Winner:
Argo53
Honourable Mention:
wizeguy
Sports Trivia - B
This Day in Canadian History - B
Winner:
wizeguy
Sleuth - DEAL
Winner:
truenorthstrongnfree
7:40am Cash Grab Contestant - larry
Winner:
waynethegolfer
Honourable Mention:
orsybe
ic_ou812
8:20am - bodega
Winner:
orsybe
Honourable Mention:
Wallie
ic_ou812
11:15am - highschool
Winner:
ecat444
Honourable Mention:
ic_ou812
karmac
1:40pm Cash Grab Contestant - Leo
Winner:
Neon
Honourable Mention:
ic_ou812
polywog_23
4:15pm - temptation
Winner:
Lee03
Honourable Mention:
feetfrown
runt158
5:40pm Cash Grab Contestant - Vincenzo
Winner:
ecat444
Honourable Mention:
Lee03
Neon
9:15pm - yardsale
Winner:
ecat444
Honourable Mention:
howard55
Derringer's Cash Grab Words:
6:50am - Drizzle
Winner:
truenorthstrongnfree
Honourable Mention:
heartgirl99
howard55
10:15am - motorcycle
Winner:
polywog_23
Honourable Mention:
runt158
ic_ou812
3pm - checking
Winner:
polywog_23
Honourable Mention:
karmac
feetfrown
9:15pm - LOOSE
Winner:
WolfDio
So, as it turns out, the War was indeed Lovely. If you're in the mood for a vaudeville type show, Oh What A Lovely War.
Hope everyone enjoyed their day.
Night all.
For a smile, see our vids: http://www.youtube.com/lilyquincy
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Thu, Mar 11th, 2010, 10:53 PM #42088
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
- Location
- North York
- Posts
- 15,557
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- 75373
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Thu, Mar 11th, 2010, 10:59 PM #42089
- Join Date
- Jan 2010
- Location
- North York
- Posts
- 15,557
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- 75373
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Goodnight All.
Time to rest.
Rep you tomorrow.
I live in a Cartoon World as I am surrounded by Characters.
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Thu, Mar 11th, 2010, 11:14 PM #42090
Goodevening
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