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Thread: Club Q Q107-Loyalty Club (Southern ON Only)

  1. #43411
    heartgirl99 heartgirl99's Avatar
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    hi guys!

    i brought you some goodies to go with your morning coffee:


  2. #43412
    Smart Canuck Wallie's Avatar
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    Your Wednesday Giggles

    The Errand

    McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini,

    each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar.


    When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed,


    the Irishman started to leave.


    "S'cuse me",said a customer,


    who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done,


    "what was that all about?"


    "Nothin', said the Irishman,


    "me wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!"


    ***********************************************


    The Lost Luggage







    An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered


    around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks.


    An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick.


    "No,"replied the Irishman.


    "I've lost all me luggage!"


    "How'd that happen?"


    "The cork fell out!" said the Irishman.







    ***********************************************


    Water to wine





    An Irish priest is driving down to New York


    and gets stopped for speeding.


    The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath


    and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.


    He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"


    "Just water,"says the priest.


    The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"


    The priest looks at the bottle and says,


    "Good Lord! He's done it again!"


    ***********************************************


    The Brothel


    Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub having beer


    and watching the brothel across the street.


    They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel,


    and one of them said,


    "Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad."


    Then they saw a Rabbi enter the brothel,


    and the other Irishman said,


    "Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews


    are falling' victim to temptation."


    Then they saw a Catholic priest enter the brothel,


    and one of the Irishmen said,


    "What a terrible pity...


    one of the girls must be quite ill."


    ***********************************************


    Lost at Sea


    Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael,


    were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape


    from a burning freighter.


    While rummaging through the boat's provisions,


    Patrick stumbled across an old lamp.


    Secretly hoping that a genie would appear,


    he rubbed the lamp vigorously.


    To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth.


    This particular genie, however,


    stated that he could only deliver one wish,


    not the standard three.


    Without giving much thought to the matter,


    Patrick blurted out,


    "Make the entire ocean into Guinness Beer!"


    The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash,


    and immediately the entire sea turned into


    the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.


    Simultaneously, the genie vanished.


    Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull


    broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances.


    Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick


    whose wish had been granted.


    After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke:


    "Nice going Patrick!


    Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!







    ***********************************************


    The Fall


    Murphy was staggering home with a pint of booze


    in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily.


    Struggling to his feet,


    he felt something wet running down his leg.


    "Please Lord,"he implored,


    "let it be blood!!"


    (And saving the best for last...)







    You've Been Drinking Again


    An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night.


    The bartender finally said that the bar was closing.


    So, the Irishman stood up to leave fell flat on his face.


    He tried to stand one more time; same result.


    He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air


    and maybe that will sober him up.


    Once outside, he stood up and fell on his face again.


    So he decided to crawl the four blocks home.


    Again, he fell flat on his face.


    He crawled through the door and into his bedroom.


    When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up.


    This time he managed to pull himself upright,


    but he quickly fell right into the bed and is sound asleep


    as soon as his head hit the pillow.


    He was awakened the next morning


    to his wife standing over him, shouting,


    "SO YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN!"


    Putting on an innocent look,


    and intent on bluffing it out he said,


    "What makes you say that?"


    "The pub just called;


    you left your wheelchair there again."

  3. #43413
    80s Sitcom Trivia Guru truenorthstrongnfree's Avatar
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    Okay, listening to the story of how Kim Mitchell soaked his underwear in the bathroom prior to his interview with Slash...

    One has to wonder. Why were only his UNDERWEAR wet from resting in the puddle on the floor by the toilet? It would be impossible not to get your pants wet if your underwear were on the floor with them.

    Was he wearing a kilt? If that's the case, I guess he's not scottish.
    What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Titanic have in common?

    They both look good until they hit the ice.

  4. #43414
    at your service Bigred404's Avatar
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    Good morning all. Been a busy week or so, but I've been keeping up with the words and codes. Thanks, as always.
    Are there any SUBURBAN legends?

  5. #43415
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    Good Morning to everyone and Happy St. Pattys Day. I thought that before we all go out and torch whatever brain cells we have left with green beer this eve, or maybe this morning, lol I would feed your brain. Maybe it will help with tomorrows recovery, who knows, lol

    Can You Work this Out?

    Please look at the math below. They say only people with an IQ with 120 and over are able to figure this out. Try not to openly answer so others have a chance to try. I know it isn't that difficult but, it is a little piece of brain candy, num num num num num, lol. Have fun. Oh yeah, and Mensa members, you have 30 seconds from time of message delivery, after that your answer is wrong. I think it only fair, lol

    If:

    2 + 3 = 10


    7 + 2 = 63


    6 + 5 = 66


    8 + 4 = 96


    Then: 9 + 7 = ?

  6. #43416
    Smart Canuck Owdatoon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by truenorthstrongnfree View Post
    Okay, listening to the story of how Kim Mitchell soaked his underwear in the bathroom prior to his interview with Slash...

    One has to wonder. Why were only his UNDERWEAR wet from resting in the puddle on the floor by the toilet? It would be impossible not to get your pants wet if your underwear were on the floor with them.

    Was he wearing a kilt? If that's the case, I guess he's not scottish.
    Maybe he was just wearing underwear....

  7. #43417
    Frosh Canuck mccorda21's Avatar
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    Name:  stickyfishword_11am_0.jpg
Views: 344
Size:  7.0 KB


    Power

  8. #43418
    at your service Bigred404's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skidooman View Post
    Good Morning to everyone and Happy St. Pattys Day. I thought that before we all go out and torch whatever brain cells we have left with green beer this eve, or maybe this morning, lol I would feed your brain. Maybe it will help with tomorrows recovery, who knows, lol

    Can You Work this Out?

    Please look at the math below. They say only people with an IQ with 120 and over are able to figure this out. Try not to openly answer so others have a chance to try. I know it isn't that difficult but, it is a little piece of brain candy, num num num num num, lol. Have fun. Oh yeah, and Mensa members, you have 30 seconds from time of message delivery, after that your answer is wrong. I think it only fair, lol

    If:

    2 + 3 = 10


    7 + 2 = 63


    6 + 5 = 66


    8 + 4 = 96


    Then: 9 + 7 = ?

    According to my calculations, the only possible answer is .
    Last edited by Bigred404; Wed, Mar 17th, 2010 at 11:13 AM. Reason: oops, didn't read so far as to know not to publish the answer.
    Are there any SUBURBAN legends?

  9. #43419
    Smart Canuck Owdatoon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skidooman View Post
    good morning to everyone and happy st. Pattys day. I thought that before we all go out and torch whatever brain cells we have left with green beer this eve, or maybe this morning, lol i would feed your brain. Maybe it will help with tomorrows recovery, who knows, lol

    can you work this out?

    please look at the math below. they say only people with an iq with 120 and over are able to figure this out. Try not to openly answer so others have a chance to try. I know it isn't that difficult but, it is a little piece of brain candy, num num num num num, lol. Have fun. Oh yeah, and mensa members, you have 30 seconds from time of message delivery, after that your answer is wrong. I think it only fair, lol

    if:

    2 + 3 = 10


    7 + 2 = 63


    6 + 5 = 66


    8 + 4 = 96


    then: 9 + 7 = ?
    144

  10. #43420
    Smart Canuck Owdatoon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skidooman View Post
    Good Morning to everyone and Happy St. Pattys Day. I thought that before we all go out and torch whatever brain cells we have left with green beer this eve, or maybe this morning, lol I would feed your brain. Maybe it will help with tomorrows recovery, who knows, lol

    Can You Work this Out?

    Please look at the math below. They say only people with an IQ with 120 and over are able to figure this out. Try not to openly answer so others have a chance to try. I know it isn't that difficult but, it is a little piece of brain candy, num num num num num, lol. Have fun. Oh yeah, and Mensa members, you have 30 seconds from time of message delivery, after that your answer is wrong. I think it only fair, lol

    If:

    2 + 3 = 10


    7 + 2 = 63


    6 + 5 = 66


    8 + 4 = 96


    Then: 9 + 7 = ?


    My 4 year old say that 9 plus 7 equals 16

  11. #43421
    Smart Canuck tad01's Avatar
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    Well the Irish luck didn't last too long.

    Tim Hortons 26 - Terry 3

  12. #43422
    Evelyn ecat444's Avatar
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    Hello Everyone:

    Happy St. Paddy's Day!

    I must have a little luck of the Irish as I won a $250.00 gift card to Country Style donuts from Boom 97.3 this morning! So the heck with a free one from Timmies and the coffee's on me this morning guys and gals! I can walk to one from here so the card will come in handy.

    Nice day out there today!!!



  13. #43423
    Evelyn ecat444's Avatar
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    11:15 ireland

  14. #43424
    Canadian Guru Lee03's Avatar
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    11:15am winning word: Ireland

  15. #43425
    Canadian Genius kenrod's Avatar
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    11:15am Winning Word: IRELAND

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