My DEAR ANN column sneak peek

[MortgageQueen]

It won't be published til Thursday, but since it is related to finances I figured I'd post it here. . .
Hope it helps. . .somebody. .

Dear Ann,
I have been in a committed relationship for 2 yrs. We are very happy except in the difference in how we view money. I’m a saver and he’s a spender. It seems to be the only real bone of contention between us. Do you have any suggestions on how to work it out so that we’re both happy? Jackie T.

It’s truly amazing how money and how it’s spent can create so much friction in relationships, but there IS ways you can reduce that. The key factor is have money/spending discussions before the situation arises. Some people even write it down on a little agreement.
Every couple are unique in where they are in their age, goals and financial situation, so let’s just cover some basics. You can add or subtract to this “list for discussion” as it pertains to your situation.

1. Set a personal spending limit. – A predetermined limit on the maximum amount each of you can spend without discussing it with the other, willsave on nasty surprises and big arguments. Common limits can be anywhere between $50 to $500 depending on budgets. It also helps avoid impulse buys we later regret.

2. Set budgets for large purchases. – A good way to do this is to have a list of your net income vs. your monthly expenses. If you are going to save/buy something, you know specifically what you can afford in your budget to pay for it. Avoid “Buy Now-Pay Later” deals unless you know you will strictly pay them down.

3. Plan for future Education. – If children are in the picture, a discussion regarding the cost of their future education is a must. One mate may want to pay the whole shot, the other may expect the child to get gov’t financing. If the two of you have opposite viewpoints, obviously compromising or meeting in the middle will be necessary.

4. Housing. – This is a big one. Some people tend to buy a house and never leave while others want to keep working toward the “dream house”. Some people prefer spending housing dollars well below their means so as to have money free for other desires while others will buy the best home they can possibly afford. Again, in fairness, compromise may enter the picture.

5. Retirement. – With unstable economies worldwide, less children being born (in Canada) and droves of baby boomers entering the pensionable age, it is not advisable to ignore one’s retirement goals. You maybe surprised what your mate’s views are. Talk about it.

To succeed in your financial goals as a couple, keep a file folder where you both write down goals to improve upon. Even put your goals where you can see them every day. In this way you’re not only accountable to each other but also, yourself. . .
Have the additional goal of making a date with each other quarterly to discuss your financial status. This is NOT a time to accuse or blame but rather discuss in a co-operative spirit where adjustments need to be made. Talking to your mate about finances doesn’t need to be a stressful event. Regular meetings, good communication and a non-confrontational attitude prevent situations fromgetting out of control and better understanding your mate’s viewpoint.

[Darth Penguin]

I really love reading your column...

[matrix82]

Good advice


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[MortgageQueen]

Awwwwww . . .thx guys.

[YOU AND ME]

i love Dear Ann i read her column everyday good advice

[tjthemanto]

Great

[lovelikewinter3]

Awesome advice, I love it. Thank you for sharing it!

[lilo0003]

excellent advice. This was my DH & I 20 yrs ago and we have really found a balance. The only one that even caused us any real stress was the housing. After we had our second son soon to be 9 DH felt we neeed a bigger house (we live in the land of big houses no yard). We did look but I kept reminding him we both grew up in a 3 bedroom bungalow (its what we have) and it did not kill us. It was so tempting not to give in tp the big beautiful houses but we stuck it out and he is in total agreement with 3 bedroom mortgage free bungalow now

[Snow Queen]

Great advice!!

[MortgageQueen]

excellent advice. This was my DH & I 20 yrs ago and we have really found a balance. The only one that even caused us any real stress was the housing. After we had our second son soon to be 9 DH felt we neeed a bigger house (we live in the land of big houses no yard). We did look but I kept reminding him we both grew up in a 3 bedroom bungalow (its what we have) and it did not kill us. It was so tempting not to give in tp the big beautiful houses but we stuck it out and he is in total agreement with 3 bedroom mortgage free bungalow now

Good for You!! We should all follow your example and live a little below our means. It leaves more room/money for the "other" things in life.
Besides, who wants more space to clean?!!