Originally Posted by
flyingdutch
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. No one should ever make another person feel the way that this guy is making you feel. No one. Your children deserve better. And YOU certainly deserve better.
I am happy to hear that you have family support right now. Lean on them when you need strength and don't be afraid to ask for help/company when you need it. They love and care about you (more than your ex-BF obviously) and want to be there for you. Let them. Also make sure you speak with your children that the reason you are acting the way you are (i.e. we're staying at grandmas for a little bit, we're going to not be seeing "daddy" for a little while, etc) as much as you can based on their age so they know that they have done nothing wrong to cause this recent change in their lives/schedules. Even saying something like "we're having a vacation/sleepover at grandma/grandpas/aunties/ etc" or "daddy's on a vacation' might be all it takes. Try to keep things as normal as you can (which I know will be very hard) for your sanity and your kids, messing up their schedule will make it hard/confusing for them and that'll add stress to you plate too.
I'm going to also echo what was said above. Document- document- document. EVERYTHING. Also be able to recount or retell specific examples (times, dates, locations, other people around, etc) of times where he has been threatening to you or the kids or conducted himself in a way that would point to him being a bad caregiver or provider to the children and you. Make sure your friends (mutual or otherwise) are aware of his threats to take the kids, as well as the local authorities, so that people can watch your back and your children's back. And as KK7 said, tryto remain calm and detached when you are speaking with him or about him to your lawyer/legal council. You need to maintain a cool head and be the grownup since he obviously won't be. You don't want to give him ANYTHING that he might want to try to use against you, since you obviously haven't before now, and it will also make you feel more in control.
Best wishes and hang in there. I know we don't know one another very well at all but you seem like a nice person and you deserve better. Do yourself a favor and stay strong in your decision. You really deserve better than this poor excuse of a "man" in your life!