A few LOLS for you.....

[MortgageQueen]

"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us." - Bill Watterson

[MortgageQueen]

"The only man who sticks closer to you in adversity than a friend is a creditor." - Unknown

[MortgageQueen]

"I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween." - Unknown

[MortgageQueen]

"If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum." - Chinese proverb

[MortgageQueen]

"If it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever." - David Letterman

[MortgageQueen]

"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." - Ernest Hemingway

[MortgageQueen]

"Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your kids." - Sam Levenson

[MortgageQueen]

"The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one." - Erma Bombeck

[MortgageQueen]

"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it." - Unknown

[MortgageQueen]

"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old." - Mark Twain

[MortgageQueen]

"If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed." - E. Jean Carroll

[MortgageQueen]

"Any kid will run any errand for you if you ask at bedtime." - Red Skelton

[MortgageQueen]

"By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong." - Charles Wadsworth

[MortgageQueen]

Being cremated is my last chance for a smoking hot body.

[MortgageQueen]

I have enough money to live comfortably the rest of my life. . . if I die next Thursday.