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Thread: A few LOLS for you.....

  1. #23146
    Mastermind Lynn49's Avatar
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  2. #23147
    Mastermind Lynn49's Avatar
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    The Problem With Simple or Direct TranslationEnglish greetings from Mainland Chinese
    Chinese Hotel Hospitality
    China have been trying to push international tourism to greater heights. The government has asked all hotels, tourist guides and
    restaurants to provide all best possible services and proper guidance to tourists in English. The hotels have surely adopted an aggressive
    approach to attracting and guiding tourists;

    For Example:
    Welcome letter:
    Getting There:
    Our representative will make you wait at the airport.
    The hotel bus runs along the lake and you will feel pleasure in passing water.

    You will know the hotel is near, because you will go round the bend. As you come into the hotel, our beautiful manager will offer welcome drinks and then have intercourse with all new guests.

    The Hotel:
    This is a family hotel, so adultery and children are welcome.
    Nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children.
    Guests are invited to mate in the bar and expose themselves to others.
    It is good to have intercourse with others and become fast friends.
    But please note that ladies are not allowed to have their babies in the bar. With our help they can be delivered in the baby center.
    We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with himself.
    Your Room:
    Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts.
    In winter, every room is on heat.
    Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity.
    All your needs are from room service. Please feel free to ring for the chambermaid and take advantage of her.
    Hospitality:
    When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will struggle to forget it.


  3. #23148
    Mastermind Lynn49's Avatar
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    GOD HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR
    A woman received a call that her daughter was sick.
    She stopped by the pharmacy to get medication,
    got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys inside.

    The woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground.
    She looked at it and said "I don’t know how to use this."
    She bowed her head and asked God to send her HELP.

    With in 5 minutes a beat up old motorcycle pulled up. The driver was
    a bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag.
    The man got off of his cycle and asked if he could help.

    She said: "Yes, my daughter is sick. I’ve locked my keys in my car.
    I must get home. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"
    He said, "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute
    the car was open.
    She hugged the man and through tears said, "Thank You SO Much!
    You are a very nice man."
    The man replied, "Lady, I am NOT a nice man. I just got out of PRISON
    yesterday. I was in prison for car theft."
    The woman hugged the man again sobbing, "Oh, thank you God!
    You even sent me a Professional!"


  4. #23149
    Mastermind Lynn49's Avatar
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    Hm...I knew I was speshul!!!

    I, like most, like to think I am unique. This interesting little mind game sets me straight–I am in that big 98%!
    MIND GAME
    2% or 98%

    This is strange…can you figure it out?

    Are you the 2% or 98% of the population?

    Follow the instructions! NO PEEKING AHEAD!
    Do the following exercise, guaranteed to raise an eyebrow.
    There’s no trick or surprise.
    Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one at a time and as quickly as you can!
    Again, as quickly as you can but don’t advance until you’ve done each of them … really.

    Now, scroll down (but not too fast, you might miss something).

    Think of a number from 1 to 10

    Multiply that number by 9

    If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together

    Now subtract 5

    Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the number you ended up with
    (example: 1=a, 2=B, 3=c,etc.)
    Think of a country that starts with that letter
    Remember the last letter of the name of that country
    Think of the name of an animal that starts with that letter

    Remember the last letter in the name of that animal

    Think of the name of a fruit that starts with that letter

    Are you thinking of a Kangaroo in Denmark eating an Orange ?

    I told you this was FREAKY!! If not, you’re among the 2% of the population whose minds are different enough to think of something else. 98% of people will answer with kangaroos in Denmark when given this exercise.
    Keep this message going. This one is actually worth sending on to others..
    Forward it to people you know so they can find out if they are usual or unusual.


    I thought: "Koala Bear" and raisins...lol....
    Last edited by Lynn49; Tue, Jun 16th, 2015 at 11:03 AM.
    Crochetlady, danger_dan and dededi like this.


  5. #23150
    Mastermind Lynn49's Avatar
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  6. #23151
    no more door to door! :) walkonby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lynn49 View Post
    Hm...I knew I was speshul!!!

    I, like most, like to think I am unique. This interesting little mind game sets me straight–I am in that big 98%!
    MIND GAME
    2% or 98%

    This is strange…can you figure it out?

    Are you the 2% or 98% of the population?

    Follow the instructions! NO PEEKING AHEAD!
    Do the following exercise, guaranteed to raise an eyebrow.
    There’s no trick or surprise.
    Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one at a time and as quickly as you can!
    Again, as quickly as you can but don’t advance until you’ve done each of them … really.

    Now, scroll down (but not too fast, you might miss something).

    Think of a number from 1 to 10

    Multiply that number by 9

    If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together

    Now subtract 5

    Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the number you ended up with
    (example: 1=a, 2=B, 3=c,etc.)
    Think of a country that starts with that letter
    Remember the last letter of the name of that country
    Think of the name of an animal that starts with that letter

    Remember the last letter in the name of that animal

    Think of the name of a fruit that starts with that letter

    Are you thinking of a Kangaroo in Denmark eating an Orange ?

    I told you this was FREAKY!! If not, you’re among the 2% of the population whose minds are different enough to think of something else. 98% of people will answer with kangaroos in Denmark when given this exercise.
    Keep this message going. This one is actually worth sending on to others..
    Forward it to people you know so they can find out if they are usual or unusual.


    I thought: "Koala Bear" and raisins...lol....
    my answer was Denmark and koala ( but I did not think to write bear after it , so my fruit was avocado ? ) am I 2% or just crazy?? ha ha ......Lynn DON'T answer that.
    Crochetlady, danger_dan and dededi like this.




    babies teach us acceptance

  7. #23152
    Mastermind Lynn49's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by walkonby View Post
    my answer was Denmark and koala ( but I did not think to write bear after it , so my fruit was avocado ? ) am I 2% or just crazy?? ha ha ......Lynn DON'T answer that.
    Aw please...pleasepleaseplease let me answer that??!!!!!!
    I can't help it: YES! A resounding, YES!!

    Of course with you and I not being part of the bigger picture...I guess that explains a lot, eh?

  8. #23153
    Mastermind Lynn49's Avatar
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  9. #23154
    Mastermind Lynn49's Avatar
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    Office prank.

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  10. #23155
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  11. #23156
    no more door to door! :) walkonby's Avatar
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    oh Zonny!! ^^ I really had tears laughing, I had to share that with DH who now thinks I've dropped a screw loose somewhere!
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    babies teach us acceptance

  12. #23157
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