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Thread: A few LOLS for you.....

  1. #24136
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  2. #24137
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  3. #24138
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    COLONOSCOPY HUMOUR
    Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:


    1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!


    2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'


    3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'


    4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'


    5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'


    6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'


    7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'


    8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'


    9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!


    10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'


    11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'


    12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'


    And the best one of all.


    13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

  4. #24139
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    My mum used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread butter on bread on the same
    cutting board with the same knife
    and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning.



    Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag,
    not in ice pack coolers, but I can't remember getting e. Coli



    Almost all of us would have rather gone
    swimming in the lake or at the beach instead of a pristine pool (talk
    about boring), no beach closures then.



    We all took PE ..... And risked permanent
    injury with a pair of Dunlop sandshoes instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air
    cushion soles and built in light reflectors that cost as much as a small car.



    I can't recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.



    We got the cane for doing something wrong at school, they used to call it discipline yet we all grew up to
    accept the rules and to honour & respect those older than us.

    We had 50 kids in our class and we all
    learned to read and write, do maths and spell almost all the words needed to write
    a grammatically correct letter......., FUNNY THAT!!



    We all said prayers in school irrespective of our religion, sang the national anthem and no one got upset.



    Staying in detention after school caught all
    sorts of negative attention we wish we hadn't got.



    I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.



    I just can't recall how bored we were
    without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations. Because we weren't!!



    Oh yeah .... And where was the antibiotics
    and sterilisation kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!



    We played "King of the Hill" on piles of
    gravel left on vacant building sites and when we got hurt, mum pulled
    out the 2/6p bottle of iodine and then we got our backside spanked.



    Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10 day dose of
    antibiotics and then mum calls the lawyer to sue the contractor for
    leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.



    To top it off, not a single person I knew had
    ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family. How could
    we possibly have known that?



    We never needed to get into group therapy
    and/or anger management classes. We were obviously so duped by so many
    societal ills, that we didn't even notice that the entire country
    wasn't taking Prozac!
    How did we ever survive?



    REGARDS TO ALL OF US WHO SHARED THIS ERA.
    AND TO ALL WHO DIDN'T, SORRY FOR WHAT YOU MISSED.
    WOULDN'T TRADE IT FOR ANYTHING!

  5. #24140
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  7. #24142
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    Which one are we??

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