Too poor to bury spouse

[TaraF]

This is heartbreaking but it also highlights the importance of having a will and having your affairs in order, especially if you are terminally ill. This lady (local to me) is in a situation where her common law husband of 7 years died after a 4 year battle with brain cancer and she can not afford to bury him.

Here's the situation: He was receiving Ontario Disability but he also owned his home (allowed on odsp) but it also made him ineligible for the discretionary benefits which could have been used to bury him. He didn't have a will in place and they are not legally married and nothing was put into place to cover his funeral expenses, so now she can not afford to bury him and now his body is waiting in a funeral home. So sad.

http://www.stcatharinesstandard.ca/2...n-funeral-home

*Edit*

The funeral home has said arrangements will be made.

[Natalka]

So sad that she had to go public with this...
Why couldn't the funeral be paid for out of his estate? I don't understand that part.
Also, if he had worked at any time in his life, CPP pays out a death benefit,

[Darth Penguin]

While this is very sad, it's also a wake-up call, like you said to those without a will.

if he was suffering from cancer for 4 yrs , he had plenty of time to remedy this situation.This poor woman has not only lost her love but also any invested right in the house.

[Natalka]

It's not necessarily a matter of not having a will.
Something to be considered is the designation of common law spouses and estate law as they vary by province.
If this had been in Saskatchewan, they would have been legal spouses after two years of cohabitation. Any wills made before that are then revoked by that relationship. If a couple wants something different, they have to draw up new wills after the two years and - if there are adult children - a cohabitation agreement to deal with bequests to them.

[TaraF]

Natalka, I would assume that as well but without a will doesn't property automatically go to the Government? My understanding of how things have changed in the last few years with funeral homes is that things have to be paid up front before services are used, so even if they used money from the sale of his estate for burial, the burial would still have to be paid upfront and reimbursed later. At least that is how I understand it.

Darth, it definitely highlights the importance of making a will while you are healthy, have your thoughts in order and nothing but happiness to look forward to, because once you become ill, although death is the first thing on your mind preparing for it isn't.

[lecale]

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[lecale]

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[kparker1786]

I was talking to hubby about this, and my mother piped in saying "if he had gotten insurance when he found out -- " I interrupted her saying "NO insurance company would take him after he found out Mom.... Think about it. Do you think they WANT to give out money in a month? No. So he wouldn't have been able to get insurance for himself when he found out." Sad but true

[DianneS]

Sometimes people are unable to come to grips with the fact that they are terminally ill. They are unable to accept the fact that they will die and that they need make some decisions before that time. It surprises me that a social worker from the hospital or ODSP was not involved in this situation. My father, who was financially secure, died at age 64 and when he was admitted to palliative care, a social worker was automatically assigned to see how he could be of help to the family. In our case, my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer and died less than 3 months later. It was a heartbreaking but precious journey for all of us. Thankfully, he was able to make decisions and do the things he needed to do financially, emotionally and in his relationships with all of us before he passed away. We had strong family and church support. I feel so sorry that this couple did not have the help they needed on their very difficult journey.

[Natalka]

I agree with your last statements, Dianne - and I, too, lost parents when they were in their 60s.
For my mom, she had no way of knowing she would only last six weeks after her diagnosis, but on one occasion when I took her home to her city for a break during treatment, she asked for some time alone and holed herself in her room for an afternoon - later to find out that's when she went through all her documents, made additions/changes to her will, etc.
She had one of my older sisters have her power of attorney, and of course that was important so her finances could be dealt with - and later, she was also executrix.

[Patty Smyth]

There is also the other reality in all this. Funerals are BIG BUSINESS. They prey upon families and charge OBSCENE amounts . My friend lost her mom and they bullied her into getting an all inclusive package. Her and her 2 sisters were too grief stricken to argue and it ended up costing them $17,000.

My other friend got the bare mimimum no services funeral for his mom and it was still over 5K.

I think families should have a 3rd party friend help them oversee these kinds of arrangements in order to protect them from these oppoutunistic s. They are no better, in fact they are worse, than a used car salesman.

Almost everyone I talk to who has had to go through this tells the same story of how because of their grief they just went along with what the funeral homes were pushing. It's not the right time to make decisions. People need help.

[bdwilliams]

Funeral homes have such strict regulations they can not afford to be pushy.