The "million dollar" or "perfect" family

[coupon girl]

i have that family(girl then boy) and i am not offended when people say that -they are both healthy adults -which wasnt the case with the first one i lost at 3 months pregnant-personally i dont worry that they dont have a sister or brother for each sibling-they have each other and i raised them to be there for each other -regardless of interests, personalities,likes dislikes and they are there for each other. My daughter told me the other day they only want one child-i have heard so many people say no that is not good -personally its their life to decide how many children they want -yeah where is my millions -not

[mama_to_one_in_a_half]

Well for me i was suppose to have the "perfect" family but my daughter died inside of me at 17.5 weeks pregnant. Im pregnant again and im having a difficult pregnancy already so for me if i have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby that's perfect in my opinion. In so grateful for my de that if he was my only child id be more then happy. I was very upset when people found out that my angel baby was a girl they said oh you would've had the "perfect" family or she would've looked like you.

[mama_to_one_in_a_half]

Ds*

[NICKER27]

Some days I feel like I've spent a million dollars trying to have a family. My favorite is when we talk about our adoptions and people tell us their friends aunts cousins mothers best friend adopted and what ahorribleexperience they had. I think sometimes people just don't think before they open their mouths

[Caelinsmomma]

I don't understand how someone complimenting your family, saying you have the perfect family, can bother you? I would be flattered, they are saying something nice. ?

We have 2 girls, and got asked lots of times if we were going to try for a boy. We would just say we were thrilled with our 2 girls, it was exactly what we wanted.

[linaka54]

I have a million dollar family and have gotten those comments. It would never even have crossed my mind to be offended. It seems that many people on here are offended by just about anything. Maybe focus on peoples' intentions rather than looking for excuses to be upset by their choice of words.

I agree with this poster, I had 2 boys whom I love dearly and tried for years for a girl, countless miscarriages, ectopic pregnancy and it wasn't meant to be but as much as I love my boys, I would have loved to have also had a girl. People are way to touchy, if I said it to someone it is because I really think they are fortunate to have children of both sexes.

[iggysbabysitter]

Lots of people asked if I was trying for a girl after DS1 was born. My reaction? "Dear God, NO! I grew up with 4 sisters and 2 moms in 1 house... Can you say PMS?" I was tickled pink with just 1 boy, and people eventually stopped asking the silly question. DS2 came along rather unexpectedly, and that was the end of that. However, my sis has dibs on my uterus for the next 10 years should she ever decide to use it, so I can't get my tubes tied. I'd like to, though.

[momof5boys]

Well, we have the million dollar family too, lol....five boys....and the girls are coming, all brought up and well mannered .... We just have our first lovely daughter in law!!!

[krysta lynne]

i have a girl and a boy and get told this all the time. my sister in law actually says to me that she is jealous because she wants a boy so bad (because my brother wants one) so far she has had three girls in a row and has plans to try for another next year.

i think she is crazy. but that is an entirely unrelated story. lol

[Darth Penguin]

When I was pregnant with lilPenguin, I had soo many people express the opinions that I must be hoping for a boy or else I would going for number 4 as soon as possible..
Yes I had a preferance for a boy but a third girl would have been just as equally accepted. There was no way I was going for a further pregnancy/s just so I had " The Boy For His Father" as some people explained it..

[RebeccaRYoung]

I think you're all so lucky. It would never cross my mind to be upset about this comment. Think about all the people that want to have children desperately, like myself. Anyone would have a million dollar family from this perspective. I do hope to have one boy and one girl. I want to experience all of life, and having one of each will permit me to do this. If it doesn't happen, then I want to adopt a child of the gender that I don't have. I think of all the older children that have difficulties getting adopted and just want a family and to be loved. I can't imagine the effect I could have on a child's life by adopting them.

[DianneS]

There is no perfect family. There are just the families were are given -- and families come in all shapes, sizes and colors'. Family is the people who love you and care about you. Every family has its strengths and weaknesses, joys and sorrows Having one child of each gender doesn't guarantee happinesss or protect us from the surprises life always b rings My thought of the day is that we should all rejoice in the people who make family "a good place to be"

[bluzsuz]

I was glad to see this post - I didn't know that comment actually bothered people, but now that I do i will never say it again! I will admit I have said it to some women, but usually only if the DS is born first and because the DD will have an older DS to loook out for her I have two girls and love them to bits. I have one sister so come from a line of just girls, I was kind of scared to have a boy because I wouldn't know what to do!

[DaveP]

I was kind of scared to have a boy because I wouldn't know what to do!

Cheerios. The secret is cheerios.

[Granger]

I have 2 boys who I love more than anything in this world. I was just telling my mother the other day that it's really frustrating that everyone keeps saying we need to try for a girl. If and when we decide to have a third child it's because we want another baby NOT because we are trying for a specific gender.

I couldn't agree with you more. I am in the same boat with 2 gorgeous girls.

When we first were married, DH and I agreed to answer the children question with, "We are not planning on having kids." We could have tacked on "at this time" but did not want to open Pandora's box. It was our way of saying none of your business. When I was pregnant the first time, many people were surprised because we didn't tell anyone we let nature have its way (we chose this because we have seen hardship from infertility). Of course then many people said, "They didn't even want kids!" People are entitled to change their dreams just like a child can change what he or she wants to be when he or she grows up. It is now my personal policy, not to ask, but let people share. I prefer open ended questions like, what are your hopes for your family in the next 5 years? What new developments are there with your pregnancy? That way if people want to share gender, names, plans for future children, there is no pressure.