Chat-A-Thon Thread

[VeeVee]

SIGH

sometimes i don't know if it's even worth saying anything

i'm pretty sure i've had the "just let me be me" conversation before.

it's not like i'm a horrible person! i'm happily married to a good man, i'm a good mom and my kids love me and are good boys ...

my house is not a museum no and i don't wear a full face of makeup or 5 inch heels every day but my hubby loves me bc i like converse and bc i take 5 mins to get ready not 3 hours ... and honestly when will it end?!

You said it all here! Your DH Loves you bc of this! You can't live someone elses life, or live teh way they expect you to live. As long as ur happy and YOUR family is happy (you DH, the boys) that is all that matters.

[itsjustmebub]

but what to do about the snarky comments? try to say something AGAIN? DH will back me up if I decide to. But it's so awkward to be like why can't you just like me? lol

[Granger]

For bub,

In hopes some people in your life ditch their negativity...

“Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

...and because you have a great destiny awaiting.

[Natalka]

bub, I didn't cut all ties, just limit unnecessary interaction.

If she calls, I just "uh, huh...." a lot, and doodle.. She used to call me every single morning to go on and on about all kinds of things, and it was just awful! Thank goodness she finally realized I wasn't responsive to her baiting of me any longer...

I realized she just needed to get all this crap out of her - and she was the one with the problems, not me. She'd criticize our life - things about me, my husband, our son - as if they were the ones with the perfect family and home (not). I just tried over time to lessen contact, and wow - did I feel better about it all. We still will call/email/visit if something important in the family is going on, but otherwise, it's much smoother.

She just couldn't see because I wasn't like her, because we weren't living life the way they were, how in the world we could possibly be happy. She's the type that it's all about material things and looks - no clue about being good on the inside...

[itsjustmebub]

woot i've gotten 5 compliments on my hair today lol

[itsjustmebub]

ugh sorry natalka - people, sometimes family especially can be really nasty to each other! it's not as bad as your situation it's just more frustrating than anything.

like is this still going to be going on when i'm 40? 50? or can we stop criticizing my life at some point?

[Natalka]

but what to do about the snarky comments? try to say something AGAIN? DH will back me up if I decide to. But it's so awkward to be like why can't you just like me? lol

You will learn with maturity and confidence that you just have to let some things go. You don't have to respond to every comment, and sometimes it's better not to.
Sometimes it's very good just to leave someone else's snarky comment just hanging in the air with no answer..... and maybe, just maybe, they will realize what they have said.

I'm so sorry, bub, you are dealing with this - I know it's hard.

[itsjustmebub]

i usually reply with something like "well not everyone has to be exactly like you" or "well some people like short hair" or whatever ... sometimes i just say "really?" and other times let it go. oy vey.

[Natalka]

bub, I have three sisters and two brothers - all older than me except one brother.
I get along magnificently with the other two sisters who are 14 and 10 years older than me.
But there's just been something about the sister almost three years older than me since we were little - yes, I remember this going on since I was about six years old.... it used to drive my Mom absolutely bonkers!

I let her ride over me for years through my teens and early 20s - then by late 20s (yes it was that long) enough was enough. I didn't confront her or anything, I just changed MY responses to her both in words and deeds - and she finally got some of the messages I was conveying.
She has two daughters, my nieces, and we had to maintain familial contact so we could still be in each other's lives, and we have done so for the most part. She's frankly just a witch. Note, I'm not the only one in the family dealing with her like this, but I somehow have always got the brunt of it.

Once I came to terms with this (lots of help from my husband), honestly, I have been SO much more happy.

[VeeVee]

I think she wants you to be exactly like her, but she has to realize that your not, she has to let you be you....this has nothing to do with you so don't blame yourself or feel bad. I wonder if she is even aware of the snarky comments, some ppl don't realize you know.

[itsjustmebub]

i don't think she's a rude person necessarily ...
but seriously she should notice at some point that i'm not going to be anyone's clone

[itsjustmebub]

poor Natalka that sounds really rough
but good for you for realizing you can't change her you can only change yourself.

[itsjustmebub]

plus i love being short i can hug DH's chest and it's warm there hehe

[VeeVee]

So we have a new employee starting Monday...he just showed up, hes like just wanted to say HI...ummmm ok lol

[itsjustmebub]

lmao really? oh my eager much?