Karma Karma Karma

I am not going to go into the whole story BUT I hate it when people who ignore you, act like they don't care about you, never contact you, never come to any of your events and than all of a sudden when they need your help, they act like your their best friend, contact you, and act like everything is pumpkin pie and whip cream???? :shrug: (Sounds good right about now... :-))

People need to realize that people are people. Treat people with respect and treat people as you would like to be treated. Because you never know when your going to need that persons help!

Now this is were I get to smile :biggrin: I now can be a rude and say SORRY can't busy, maybe next time, OR be the better person and help....I think I am going to take a break from being the better person and let a certain someone sweat it out first LOL.

Thanks for listening!

I agree 100%. I think letting go or growing out of friendships is something you learn to do as you get older, no ill will just that things change:)

Like if this person I know even like came to one of my events or called once in awhile to say hi how are you? I would have helped them no problem. But if people are going to be rude, think they are better than everyone else, and act like I am nothing to them than why should I help them?

I have to add though this person is family, but, that should not matter. If you act a certain way towards someone don't expect them to bend over backwards for you.

BUT I am a good person, and actually, what this person is asking for I can help them out BIG TIME. But why? I feel like even if I help this person will just go back to the way they are after they get what they want...

It's sad because I do want to help, but I am not going to help someone who in the end will not appreciate it or even probably thank me later.

It sounds like you are really hurt by their behavior, with good reason! It also sounds like you are a good person and want to help because that's just your nature. If you do decide to help, and I have a feeling you will, just know that even if they don't appreciate it, YOU will know you helped and that's who you have to please. :-)

Karma Chameleon!!!

This sounds like my Mother; it was VERY hard for me to stop the cycle, but there comes a time where a person has to put their foot down.

This certainly didn't work for me, since everything has always been about her, so our relationship is pretty much non-existent, but how about telling them what you've just told us, how the person has made you feel - I'm sure that could work for some people, but unfortunately it doesn't work for everyone; at least they will know where you stand.

I understand were your coming from KrazE but I think by me not helping them they will get the hint. This person already knows how I feel (we have had are arguments and our true feelings have come out.) I have given out the peace greeting and offers like 100 times. This person just came to me because i feel they are in a bind and they need help and they know with what I can do they can be in the clear and have things go alot easier. They think because I am family I am going to suck it up and just help...BUT that doesn't work on me anymore.

I know what your saying. My husband was in a bad car accident two weeks ago. He was rear ended and his 2010 Maxima was written off. Not a single one of my "friends" cared to ask if he was okay.
I find myself going to every one of their events, birthday, etc and they never come to anything I do. I have stopped going. I'm not just your friend when it's convenient for you, or when your interested in getting a present. grrr :rant:

I know how you feel DolceBella! Sorry to hear about your husband hope he is ok? Seriously, like you do so much for other people and the simplest things people can do for you they don't do. Like hello, a phone call would be nice??? Like my family is like "Oh be the better person, blah blah" why should I be? why don't they be? when people start to change that is when I will start.

Thank you, my husband is doing good now
You can only put so much effort in. If the other person isn't putting in any effort, it's not worth it. I believe in still being polite and respectful no matter what, but i won't be putting anymore time or money into an unfair friendship. Just my opinion :)

i know the exact hurt you are feeling right now,,, don't put yourself out there for them to stomp on your heart,, my hubby and i have had issues with his family loaning them money etc...they pick a fight right after so they dont have to pay it back,,, believe me if they ignored you before the favor , they will ignore you after..

My brother and his wife do this to me all the time. They never call or come visit and yet the minute they need money for anything the phone is ringing off the hook. I actually have a hard time saying no to anyone in need so I now have all my extra money going directly into a TFSA so I can't just take it out. Very easy for me to say, sorry, I don't have the money now.

Sorry to hear about your 1 sided friendship, unfortunately we all get older but we don't all grow-up. I had a friendship like this many many years ago and at last I just stopped trying and now 15 years later she is the one approaching me, sometimes it just takes a while for people to catch up and realize what really is important in their lives.

oh Bella sorry to hear about your husbands accident and car.. geez. glad he's ok and on the mend at least he has you to be there for him.. I completely get it.. and finally after one of 'those' conversation's last night... so does hubby. it leaves ya saying .. 'really?" REALLY?" after.. then your like. oh ya.. :)

I find that there are always those people in your life. They don't get it when you don't want to hang out only on their terms. I usually end those friendships (I call it weeding the garden of friendship). Sometimes people just grow out of friendships, and sometimes it's a decision to end a friendship because of some other reason. It sounds like this friendship needs to just end.

Conversely, I've also found that you know who your real friends are when you have an emergency. When life is the toughest you find out who surrounds and helps you and who leaves you to fend for yourself. Those people that stick by your side usually are the good ones, and tend to be lifelong (or really long) friends.