Rude Grandparents

[RebeccaRYoung]

My grandfather has always been a very difficult man to deal with. He's been abrasive and rude for as long as I've known him. He was invited to Thanksgiving dinner, so I knew that I needed to gear myself up for his rudeness. He walks in to the house, takes off his coat and hat, and sits down. Now I should mention at this point, not that I think it matters, but I am the the thinnest woman in the entire family! I'm a size 8, and the rest are at least a size 16. They are all fantastic and wonderful women, and I think that weight is entirely meaningless. So anyway, he looks over to me and says, "Wow, your face is really filling in. You've started to get fat." I smile at him and say, "Wow, you're really rude." He replies by saying, "I'm your grandfather. I should be allowed to say those things." My answer was, "My husband isn't allowed to be rude and say such things, so why should you?"

This is the second time that he has talked about me getting fat. I'm not sure what to say the next time, but it really isn't his business.

[lghend]

I don't know why older men seem to think that they can get away with that. He needs a good telling off. Being a grandfather doesn't give you permission to be a pr***.

[Minou]

"Wow, grandpa... you really are getting senile... I guess the aunties are right... it's so nice that they've found you such a nice care home... have they taken you to visit it yet?"

[Natalka]

I have no frame of reference for this, as my grandparents all passed away when I was a child, and I only have awesome memories of them.

Minou's answer made me chortle, though!

Rebecca, I think I would have said - very flowery and very sickly sweet and gushy -

"Gee, thanks so much; you always know just the right thing to say!" - and leave it hanging.....

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... and then I would have poured hot gravy down his pants.

[Natalka]

[bdwilliams]

Some people are unhappy with themselves and take in hurting others. People like this prey on those who are too "polite" to really stand up for themselves Say something really cruel to him and he will leave you alone. I know it doesn't sound right, but you need to make him view you as a threat and he will leave you alone.

[MrsSunshine]

on the other hand. maybe he's so used to seeing the women of his family a little 'chunkier' that seeing you so thin he's worried. i dont know. maybe its a compliment. at least in his mind. and sometimes seniors are just used to saying whatever as they feel if i don't say it i never will. life is too short. my own mother has a tendancy to do that. i take it all with a grain of salt. 'mhmm yes' 'yes mother' it appeases her and i know (despite a long story of not talking until i nearly lost them both) that were still talking. anyway im rambling. ita with you obviously your husband is of a better mind not to say anything. so for one day of the year, maybe just let it go.

[ColleenMGorecki]

sometimes it's better to just pretend that you didn't hear him and start talking to someone else

[glenglen]

Yes the old guy is rude I find it hard to be around people like that my MIL used to be like that but I ignored her so often and family fuctions[she loves partys and putting them on so this got to her] and she is now a very good friend of mine and I like her company I hope you can one day say that about rude grampa,I Have a great holiday and not let him get to you!

[glenglen]

You can also do what Natalka said and say something like OH Grampa you always say the nicest things thanks!

[walkonby]

oh my! Hot gravy down his pants!! That made me laugh more than your comeback Rebecca!

[luckbealady]

A part of me would very much want to say, "Gee grandpa, you sure are looking old. You must be getting closer to death."

[saveadollardiva]

My grandmother can sometimes be a little mean, she doesn't mean it, but she is just a woman who say it as it is sometimes, but uses the wrong words lol. I would keep telling him how you feel though, I would tell him, Hey I love you, but this is my house, and in my house we do not make comments like that. It doesn't matter who you are. In this house we treat people with respect. Just keep at him, and he is hopefully get the message.

[tjthemanto]

Most people are raised to respect their elders , so more often than not these elders just take it for granted and think that they can get away with pretty much anything when dealing with people younger than them

I have some aunts and uncles, who are like that. The only reason I hold my tongue and don't say anything back to them is due to my parents , as my parents are nice decent folks and I don't want to embarass them and hurt them by talking back to these other elders like aunts , uncles etc.

So out of respect for my parents , I sometimes tolerate nonsense from my aunts, uncles etc..lol.

[jonesy]

OMG... that's kind of funny! Sorry about laughing. Older folks are quite entertaining sometimes, even if a bit rude, too.
Laugh it off as best you can. I know I would be hurt by that, but it is nice to know that he was wrong anyway.