In Laws......enough said

[s.hamandi]

DELETE PLEASE

Thanks for reading

[Nandiva416]

these are very insensitive people who suffer from the ME ME ME epidemic that plagues many normal families unfortunately! I am sorry to hear this tale. Best thing to do, is exactly what your doing, keep your distance, be civil when its required, and be y, when its demanded of you. Treat those with the same respect they pay you. If they pay you none, return the same courtesy, its the only way to deal with such toxic people. They are emotional vampires that will just suck the life out of you, dont let them.

[RebeccaRYoung]

I have had difficult times with my in-laws also, as I'm sure many people do. The only suggestion I have is to make plans and invite them. If they show up then great, and if they don't that's great too. In the end you have to do what makes you happy. I have spoiled wedding memories too, and it's only because I didn't do what was good for me. They are doing what's good for them, so that's what you should do also.

[torontogal12]

This guy sounds like an uncle I used to have. His wife and kids resorted to hiding everything from him because he would create scenes over nothing and spoil everything. My mom said he's spoiled weddings. My cousin would be over at our house for dinner and his family would tell him they were out grocery shopping or whatever because they didn't want him around. Well it got to the point where no one told him about any family occasion. And his wife (my aunt) separated from him and now he lives all by him self far away and his own kids hate him.

You should just tell everyone important to you to keep these kinds of events from him because he'll go bonkers if he ever finds out that you didn't "invite" him. What a douche

[kouponKween]

wow..sounds like my after in law....everyone should bend over backwards for him...and in turn he will snub everyone else....and then pick an issue..any issue and make it about himself...hence we don't speak to him and pretend he doesn't exist. In the end it is the children that suffer and he will never know he has grandchildren. But not everyone can do what we did, so my advice will be the same as RebeccaRYoung...invite them and go on your way...do what seems right for you...and your family...and hopefully they get the hint.

[secheltsaver]

" comes straight for me YELLING: I WAS NOT INVITED U SAID I WAS INVITED MY NAME IS NOT ON THE CARD!!!!!!!!!!!! I was shocked he was talking to me like this. He is also 6 feet fall and 250lbs "

If this is the way he behaves in public,in front of a large family gathering,then I feel very sorry for your sister-in-law.
However,his behavior towards your side of the family is the issue at hand here today.I would make plans to include them in family gatherings regardless-possibly by written invitation or by having your husband speak to him directly.Let your mother-in-law know that if they decide not to come,you are always delighted to have her company and would be pleased if she'd bring the little cousins with her when she came.....
Set a place for them at the end of one of the tables(so "he can sit at the head")and ignore the empty spots if they don't show.Welcome anyone who does come graciously and don't mention those who don't show unless someone else says something.If their absense is mentioned,simply say that you hope they're o.k. and leave it at that.
Don't allow this manipulative (and abusive)man to play head games with you any longer.

[nainai0585]

Unfortunately every family has 1 or a dozen "Special Snowflakes", mine included. Unfortunately it is my own sister that I needed to 'let go'. Her self centred, holier then thou behaviour and that of her new husband has created such a rift in our lives that I cannot allow her to be apart of my life or that of my children. Its unfortunate, but needed to be done as my life is way too short to be surrounded by people who hate or dispise me or my husband. The drama and heartache isn't worth it.
I haven't spoken to my sister in over 2 yrs and generally our lives are drama free b/c she is no longer in it. We have never had the opportunity to be civil with her as my other 7 siblings have chosen to not interact with me or my family so that my sister would not be offended, and to be honest, that's fine with me.
The only thing I can say is that your not alone, to smile and nod and "play the game" when out in public or around other family when he or his wife are around, and to not invite or fail to inform them about important events in your life or that of your family where you KNOW he'll cause all hell to break loose. And please, don't feel bad about needing to cut ties with angry, hateful, and down right mean people. Your ONLY priority is your happiness, your children's happiness, and your husband's happiness, not an in-law's happiness.

Good luck and hold your head up high.

[erin9mmm]

Your brother in-law was embarrassed and because it was your sister's wedding unfortunately you got the brunt of it. That doesn't excuse his behaviour but if it were me in that situation I would have felt very awkward and uncomfortable to say the least. If this all took place just 24 hrs before the wedding I would think there would still have been a spot for him. As for what happened after I guess he's still feeling upset over the wedding.
The main thing is if your sister enjoyed her wedding day and if your daughter enjoyed her birthday, with time the rest will blow over.

[s.hamandi]

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[Ciel]

OP, give your own family priority and have a word with your husband not to be yanked into family occasions hosted by his family's side without talking it first with you. Being told tby him to attend things without your discussion/input is a guarantee that you will feel stuck in the marriage for your child's sake unless you have the guts and willpower to get through life without him.
Sort of my own mother's situation in my childhood-she did not always get a say on what to serve or who to visit while my father seemed to run to anyone's do that featured roast meat. And people wonder why I have my father's attitude towards him...kind of a long wait for OP to see if her nieces/nephews grow into their father's mirror image attitude-wise.

[osita]

soory for you have to go thru with your in laws and do what I do if my dh have to go visit his mom I aske who's going to be there if nobody is there ill go to visit but if his sisters in laws are no thank you I am staying home because you don't what to go for visits and your brothers and sisters in law watch you like I am beter than you and go to one corner and ignore you so I do understan what you have to put up with them, don't let them interfier in your life so ignore them as long you and your family are happy that the only thing that matters