Have you ever had someone refuse to give you a recipe??

[Granger]

This is an interesting thread and topic. I understand that recipes can be personal, especially if you use your recipe for a business, and that is what makes your meal/treat unique. I understand if people don't want to share for that reason. I don't understand the need to one up others with a recipe and don't understand recipe hoarding in this light.

What bothers me is double standards. You can't have her recipe, but she can ask for yours. If you follow the thinking of not sharing then I don't think it is right to ask others to share with you...these are the people that should be using their palate as mentioned above.

[abbasgirl]

I'm not that great a cook so I've never been asked for a recipe. But try not to take it personally. To me it sounds like it's just one of those things that she feels like she has to offer and she doesn't want people to stop needing her for. Unless your relationship is otherwise strained, I would just enjoy the cake when she makes it and let it go.

[Yurika]

Maybe she has her own reason. We cannot force her, but i would always like to share recipes with others.

[sheetsofemptycanvas]

This is an interesting thread and topic. I understand that recipes can be personal, especially if you use your recipe for a business, and that is what makes your meal/treat unique. I understand if people don't want to share for that reason. I don't understand the need to one up others with a recipe and don't understand recipe hoarding in this light.

What bothers me is double standards. You can't have her recipe, but she can ask for yours. If you follow the thinking of not sharing then I don't think it is right to ask others to share with you...these are the people that should be using their palate as mentioned above.

This is exactly what I was thinking... how is it fair for her to ask for your recipe but not give you hers? That's the part that would bother me.

[SharonMe]

If it's a unique, original and delicious as you write, I don't blame her for keeping it a secret.
I think she should market it. I'm ready to buy one already.

[blueeyetea]

Only one instance I recall, but mostly because the lady was so rude about it. When I was studying for a sommerlier certificate at the local college, we had a pot-luck one day and one student brought in this amazing fruitcase, something I can never say no to. I casually asked if she'd care to share the recipe and she answered "Absolutely Not" in a tone that insinuated that I was off my nuts just asking her for it.

Being newish to my community then, I didn't realise this lady belonged to my town's social elite and the cake actually came from her family's factory. How I was supposed to know that when she brought in the cake in a tupperware container all cut up and ready to be handed out? I shouldn't have been surprised though, considering she worked for the newspaper reviewing restaurants and didn't know anything about wine.

[lecale]

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[backstroke]

I always give out my recipes, but that's mainly because I usually get them online or just make them up myself. I also find it flattering when someone asks!

I guess if it's a family tradition thing though, I can understand. I kind of wish I had one of these 'coveted' recipes in my family! I'd probably be the one to crack and give it away though, why keep someone from a delicious dish

[Lynn49]

What silliness! I've often happily given out any recipe I've been asked for because I consider it a compliment!
It's unfortunate you gave her one of yours...next time you make something fabulous, just let her ask! I know what I'd say!
I mean.....okay, fine. SHE wants all the compliments among your family and friends, but for heaven's sake, it's not like you're making it for the same crowd, I gather! I think it's just silliness to the nth degree!

[anisa]

i think it all has to do with ego.

why can't ppl share for the sake of sharing and being helpful?

how stupid that someone would be upset for not being credited with the creator of the recipe.

get a life man!

if you want to duplicate a recipe... search online, read a few different versions of the same dish, take all the info and make one that is deliciously and uniquely yours... and enjoy every bite

[saddlebag]

A lot of older women were very protective of their recipes....so much so some would give recipes for church/ community/ group cookbooks and leave out an ingredient or give the wrong measurement....if I love a recipe I love sharing with others

[blueeyetea]

A lot of older women were very protective of their recipes....so much so some would give recipes for church/ community/ group cookbooks and leave out an ingredient or give the wrong measurement....

Yep. I remember reading something that some restaurants do this as well.

[glowworm2k]

What I understand is this....sometimes people try several times to get something right and add a secret ingredient to make it "theirs". Takes a lot of time, patience and hard work. Then someone comes along and ask for the recipe, the worst part would be the latter to take credit for it when she gets a compliment.

My SIL always asks me for recipes when she likes something me or someone else made. She once made a cake for her sister that I showed her, she added something to make it "hers", and when her sister complimented her, she took full credit, right in front of me. I was upset. She does that to everyone who gives her recipes. The fact is, she's a very competitive person and has to prove she's the best in the kitchen.

So OP, maybe she doesn't want people to take credit for something she's spent time and effort working on.

My Great-Grandmother was like this with her cookie recipe. She entrusted the recipe (not written down) to one person per generation who she felt "deserved" it (a good baker and someone who respected her) and only if they promised never, ever to share it. I got it. My Great-Grandmother is now passed, but I make the recipe for the family every year at Christmas. They all thank me for the cookies and every one gets gobbled up. They don't ask for the recipe as they respect Gran's tradition. I never share the recipe; it's too sentimental remembering her making me swear secrecy!

[snipandsave]

Yes and its just lame if you ask me. Good things are mean't to be shared! The idea that anyone has a recipe that hasn't been thought of by someone else in this wide world is unlikley. But hey, people want to feel special.

Cheers,

Snip.

[Jina]

The idea that anyone has a recipe that hasn't been thought of by someone else in this wide world is unlikley

I agree. Which is why the OP should maybe try to get something off the internet. Lots of recipe for cakes out there and her friend even offered to make it for her. Let it go because the friend will keep saying no.

Good things are meant to be shared

Depends. I'm a professional designer. If I come up with a great design that took me a while to do, I will have it patented and copyrighted to protect my idea/design. Someone cannot come along copy. Some people do the same for recipes e.g chefs. Apple did this to Samsung. Famous chefs protect their recipes too. Some ordinary people also like to protect something they value and keep it their own.

Of course if was cheeky/rude for her friend to ask the OP for her recipe when she didn't want to give hers.

people want to feel special

Nothing wrong with that. I myself don't ask for recipe if someone made something nice and is getting compliments. In fact I'm happy for that person and I certainly wouldn't want to try to do the same thing and take away the spot light from her. Some people need to have "that good thing" that would make them feel they're good at something.

No one has the obligation to give a recipe. It's their choice.

Totally agree. I have no problem giving out recipes. If someone refuses to share with me, fine, his/her choice.