... My mom 'shops' in my stock pile...

[Scorp411]

OP, have you tried telling her directly? Just sit her down and calmly ask her not to help herself to your hard earned stock pile. If she objects, remind her you offered to help her coupon so she could make her own stockpile and that yours is off limits. Explain that you are stockpiling to save money for your family and their future, if you have to... but as far as I am concerned, the more direct and concise you are the faster the issue gets resolved.

If she doesn't respect this... you have bigger problems with your Mom than your dwindling stockpile, I'm afraid. In which case there are bigger decisions to be made about boundaries in your future... I hope that's not the case. I feel for ya!

[lecale]

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[Midnightly]

talk to her about it.. and be straight.. ask her if she'd like it if you went to her house and randomly started going through her cupboards.. and taking things.. i know the frustration of wanting to go for something.. and find out what you want isn't there (heck had that just tonight.. i wanted a mushroom pizza i had in my freezer.. and well.. it wasn't there.. mighty sad.. i had to have a mozza one instead)

[Chantel]

I would be so angry. I've had somebody steal from my stockpile once, and their reasoning was "Well, you have enough". I laid into them, and they promised they'd never do it again.

That is NOT okay and you need to make it clear to her that it is complete bs for her to think she can come in and stock up. She wouldn't take your TV or your blender, but she'll walk right out with things you worked hard for? Nope.

I would put my foot down and tell her that she is not allowed to take things from you just because you paid less than retail for them. There has to be something seriously wrong with her reasoning skills to be able to make it acceptable in her mind to take things that do not belong to her.

[Poirot]

Just explain to her you stockpile so you won't have to pay full price later on and when she takes from your stock pile you will have to pay full price.Help her with her couponing and stockpiling for herself.

[hollyquaiscer]

It's your mom, you should be able to express your feeling to her. Acknowledge that you do have extra items, but they are there because of all the hard work you do to get them. You would be happy to share an item or two with her....at the reduced price that you paid. Remind her that couponing takes time and that you do it so that you and dh will be able to have a few of the extras you currently would not be able to afford without the extra stockpile. I'm sure she will understand...sometimes moms just need a gentle reminder! If she doesn't understand, then, temporarily, meet her else where, and make sure you explain why.

[Shwa Girl]

To be honest, I never really thought of it like that. But I'm not saving squat if she is taking some of it. Like let's say I pay $3 for 3 boxes of cereal and she takes one than I have paid $3 for two. Price on each goes up. I have even offered to take her shopping and show her how to shop like me and she has never taken me up on it.

Glad that you have offered to take her shopping.
Maybe give her a free product coupon.

I agree that she does not know her boundaries when it comes to your home and your possessions. Maybe it's time to restrict her access to your house and keep the relationship going by meeting her outside of your house AND outside of her home.

You're in charge here!

[leelenhi]

Some great suggestions here - I really feel for you, OP. Reinforcing family boundaries can be very difficult, but the bottom line is that this is theft - she is stealing from your stockpile and in doing so, stealing from your future savings. I hope you are able to find the balance between being firm and being kind.

[GeorgiaK]

I don't mind giving to family. When they come over a couple times a year, I will let them shop my mini-mart. But, there is a limit. If there is something that I know I cannot easily get really cheap or free, it is off limits.

[YOU AND ME]

I had a friend do this every time she can over ,she would head right to the stockpile and pick out whatever.Last time she came over i put my foot down,you either pay me for the items or leave my stockpile alone.I offer to help her coupon but she tell me it's too time consuming,hello she on welfare she has all the time in the world.I haven't seen her since but hear from family i very mean person and won't let her have anything from my stockpile since i have so much stock.Hell i worked for that stockpile.She told my sister that i gave lots to my brother but not her,that's my brother he was going though a hard time,if you can't help family then what the point family is everything to me

[Frugal Lisa]

Thanks again everyone for the great tips!! It's not that I mind sharing, and I have offered many times to bring her and show her how I do it. Heck, I even made her her own coupon binder... But what was frustrating was that she just takes stuff, like once a week. Se is coming over tomorrow and I will sit her down and talk it over with her.

Thanks again guys!

[Panthea]

I donate and trade a lot of my stockpile, each piece is important. Having someone just assume they have the right to take what ever they wanted, I don't think I would put up with that for long. Just have a talk if you can. Explain again and if she tries again ask her to put things back before she leaves or pay you for them.

[wolfwoman]

Lock it up. I have 2 locks on mine and only I know where the keys are.

[luckbealady]

When I moved back home my mom complained about my (very small) stockpile, and warned me that it could not exceed the space in my room.

I think it's funny that she's now asking me for cleaners/deodorant/shampoos. But since I live there, I have no issues giving it to her. It just makes me sad that my stockpile is dwindling and I haven't found any great deals to replace it.

[Frugal Lisa]

Thank you all!! I talked to her again today. She said she didn't know it made me as upset as it does and she wants to learn how to shop like me. So for the first time since I moved back to Ottawa (where she lives too) she left my house empty handed!