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Thread: Am I a bad persone?

  1. #16
    Smart Canuck idonovan's Avatar
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    Jul 2011
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    Thank you all.The only issue and barrier to being out on my own... I have no job have not in a while. I go to school but I am all out of student loan money... While I am not a mooch and make the efford to help out how I can there is no way I can afford my own place not right now.

  2. #17
    Canadian Guru hollyquaiscer's Avatar
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    You have received various pieces of advise here, many of them very wise. I'll just add my 2 cents worth for you to ponder as well. Firstly, you need to figure out what you want and NEED out of a relationship. Nobody is perfect, and while you see issues with the man/men you have chosen, they to probably see issues with you. PLEASE, take the time, counseling even, if you require to figure out what you want and need from a partner. You mention you are currently in school. Instead of crowding a busy schedule, leave the partners alone and concentrate on your schooling and then on you. Please do not go back to your husband. He deserves to be happy. It seems that many people these days think the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, until they move into that side for a bit . Sure, he had some issues too, but being married is a 2 way street and him working a lot is only trying to provide for his family and make a better life, unfortunately, he needed also to learn to make compromises. If you find out what you really want in life for yourself, get your schooling done, and get your career going, the rest of your life will just fall into place when it's time. Don't be afraid to be alone, you will amaze yourself what you will learn about you. As far as not having any money. There are services available, that you may be able to acquire. As someone else said, rent yourself a room in a home, you may be able to even be fortunate enough to get a room and board situation. Remember, it's only temporary. Then make an appointment with social services (health and welfare), I'm not exactly sure the name of the agency as they are different in different city's. If they cannot help you, they can certainly steer you in the right direction. Also, you can get yourself a part time job, all of my dd's (5 of them) had part time jobs while going to university or college and that may be enough money to pay room and board for you. I know there are plenty of great paying part time jobs in Calgary. I would also like to say something that I feel is very, very important. Please...DO NOT use a man (partner). They don't deserve it. It sounds to me like you are nowhere near ready for a serious commitment currently and using a man just for a place to live will only be degrading yourself and give you low self esteem. You CAN do this, your a strong women, it may be tough, but you will get through it, and in the end everything will be worth it when you have a fabulous job, a wonderful man in your life and knowing where you want and what you want out of life. I wish you all the best, I have confidence that you will make the correct choices. Leave the men alone right now and work on you, your schooling and your what you want out of life.
    anisa, Judstir, abbasgirl and 4 others like this.
    We all need a little sunshine every now and then

  3. #18
    Canadian Genius madchives's Avatar
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    i'd go for a falling back in with your mom, idonovon, if you can.

    as for leaving your husband i can see why you did, he was on
    one wave length and you on another - the new guy eeekkk.
    he should never ignore you as he has.

    you are a kid and so have a ton of options and life to live -

    i'd hope your family could help you, but if not jump in the water
    could be warm any day soon
    (sorry for being silly there).

    as for the money part anyone you could borrow from/live with?

    your life revolves around you.
    sending good wishes your way
    Last edited by madchives; Tue, Mar 5th, 2013 at 04:48 PM. Reason: sc being jumpy
    anisa and lecale like this.
    if you have some spare time

  4. #19
    Canadian Guru McSkier's Avatar
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    you need to spend time with find like yourself for who you are and not as someones partner....and embrace you for you...tis not an easy task - nor is it easy work - because finding yourself is hard work...but you will...and your heart will smile ..
    caring for yourself today will make for a stronger tomorrow..
    Natalka, Crochetlady and i_forget like this.

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