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Thread: Ex boyfriend make me trouble buy not honoring is responsabilties he have with me...

  1. #16
    Mastermind cath007's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by anastasia1009 View Post
    So sorry you are going through all this. I went through this in 2005 with an ex-boyfriend and I was living in Ontario. I put a restraining order on him first (drug use & went schzio) but I used his parents address. He didn't even live there but it was the only address I knew cause he lived in the woods in a cabin with no fixed address. Then once that was in place I filed for small claims and used his parents address but in Ontario you need that address to serve him. But you can also serve him at work too but you need an address for the form. Also if you can go to legal aid they helped a lot .
    Good luck
    I know I need an adress...His mom is not helping..and The only thing I know I could do his reach is 2 last boss to have some kind of infos...send it to courts..and they will have to search the rest..but with social card...where is the as*(&*(&???..is the question
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    It is just me,me and myself in his case...And now he blocked me on my fb freebie account...here is the last convo..mister have with me because he had to choice to talk with me: Dont bother my mom with ours problems....it is our lifes and she is sick... I now yoou attempt to reach me but I did not forget you I am in a bad moment, so stop bother me...And after I said I have been sick too....and he did not care... he change his num ,dont want to give it to me,said he is in a new place to start from the beginning, I said he was stressing me...he said no,said he still have my adress,Dont care about me...in time when my money will be ok I will let you know...If I want to be gentle with you or not, I said no...and after I did not have a chance to send my 2 reply..because he see he will not have the last word...and he cannot manipulate me anymore so he block me...end...
    The goal is to live day by day not to much thinking hahaha !!!!
    I love to save money!!! Frugal life hahaah !!!

  3. #18
    Mastermind cath007's Avatar
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    Having the last word...control freak...possesive...I need to talk to a friend who know the story..but he is moving today..in another city so I feel.......... I could not handle anymore of this nightmare...I pass him money...it is not a co-loan or something...I want my 860$ back...supposed to be finish since 6 months a least..I want to turn off this bad nightmare and move on..and I got blocked...what a world of crazyness..I am guily to had said ok because I was afraid of him...of is impulsivity...
    The goal is to live day by day not to much thinking hahaha !!!!
    I love to save money!!! Frugal life hahaah !!!

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    Only my opinion but I think you bought yourself an expensive lesson in not trusting people who say they will pay you back on such and such a day, etc. If they can't afford the bill now what makes it possible that they will be able to pay it later. It is always a day late and a dollar short for many people no matter how many chances you give them.

    I know you need the money back but honestly just let it go. Hypothetically what would you have done if say he couldn't pay you back because he was seriously ill, in jail or dead?
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  5. #20
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    It just grinds my gears that people can be this way! Shame on him! So sorry you are going through this. I went through something very similar with my now ex-husband. Took me for A LOT of money and fled the country. Before that, he would move and not give me his address so that I could not serve him with court documents. Eventually I got a court order to use his cousins address as his "address for service". I now have court orders, but will never see a penny. I decided that I would not "rent him space in my brain for free" and moved on with my life. I am now remarried to the most wonderful man in the world. Never, ever let someone bring you down that way again. Protect you self worth (and your finances). I wish you well and good fortune for the future.
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    Sorry to hear this and unfortunately not much can be done, cut your losses and move on!

    I myself have been looking for my ex for 2+ years to not only serve him papers for child support but for our mortgage that he skipped out on. Even with legal aid providing a lawyer it is not their responsibility to track someone down for you to serve them papers. Without a physical address nothing can be done.

    My suggestion is if you have the time - hold off as with time he will slip up! I know mine did, after a year I finally found out where the as*hole worked, so one day on my day off I parked outside his work and waited to make sure that is where he worked, and viola papers served

    Only managed to get papers served for the mortgage to which 3 case appearances he was a no show and on the last one he did show and gave me the money that was owed for that, after that day I have not seen him, he has quit his job and has moved......I said to hell with going threw it again and stopped searching for him, as much as I would love some sort of child support - I rather have the shear satisfaction that he will NEVER see his son without being caught to serve him

    Best of luck in whatever you do

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    Smart Canuck anastasia1009's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by momof3heathens View Post
    Only my opinion but I think you bought yourself an expensive lesson in not trusting people who say they will pay you back on such and such a day, etc. If they can't afford the bill now what makes it possible that they will be able to pay it later. It is always a day late and a dollar short for many people no matter how many chances you give them.

    I know you need the money back but honestly just let it go. Hypothetically what would you have done if say he couldn't pay you back because he was seriously ill, in jail or dead?
    My ex owed me closer to $5000 (rent, utilities plus credit card debit) and I needed the money real bad. Even got evicted from the place we lived. After trying to serve him at his mom's place, then getting a protection order cause he was following me plus drug use. I finally gave up on collecting even though I had him sign everything but in the long run my sanity was worth more. I just let it go and I always hoped karma would kick him in his ass. He went crazy even hospitalized for drug use - he spent 3 weeks awake on meth. And about 3 yrs ago karma booted him hard. That place I was evicted I wasn't listed on this lease never knew that and the owners sued him & won for damage (that he did plus they found drug stuff hidden in the house). They are trying or have collected $7000 for him or his mom.

    The courts will do nothing (and they won't look) without an address all you can do is mail copies of everything you have to his mom or family member certify the letter and then try to use that address as the letter you file papers with. That is what I did in Ontario and it worked. But then you have to physically serve him so you need to know where he is. Its really hard I tried that route cause my ex was in bum f*ck no where with no address.

    I know its hard to let go I really do took me a year or more and I was always in fear of him. But once you don't care and keep praying that karma will kick him hard. If he is like that with you, the next person he is with might not put up with his and karma will kick him.

    Good Luck!!
    Last edited by anastasia1009; Sun, Apr 14th, 2013 at 01:43 AM. Reason: bad englis

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    Canadian Genius Insane's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peachykeen2007 View Post
    Sorry to hear this and unfortunately not much can be done, cut your losses and move on!

    I myself have been looking for my ex for 2+ years to not only serve him papers for child support but for our mortgage that he skipped out on. Even with legal aid providing a lawyer it is not their responsibility to track someone down for you to serve them papers. Without a physical address nothing can be done.

    My suggestion is if you have the time - hold off as with time he will slip up! I know mine did, after a year I finally found out where the as*hole worked, so one day on my day off I parked outside his work and waited to make sure that is where he worked, and viola papers served

    Only managed to get papers served for the mortgage to which 3 case appearances he was a no show and on the last one he did show and gave me the money that was owed for that, after that day I have not seen him, he has quit his job and has moved......I said to hell with going threw it again and stopped searching for him, as much as I would love some sort of child support - I rather have the shear satisfaction that he will NEVER see his son without being caught to serve him

    Best of luck in whatever you do
    Too bad Manitoba doesn't have something like.... goodparentspay.ca

    If you have a court order in Ontario you can prevent them from renewing their licence and lots of other nasties.
    Last edited by Insane; Sun, Apr 14th, 2013 at 12:51 AM.
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  9. #24
    Mastermind cath007's Avatar
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    Well the comments are not encouraging I am still take reflections about this...For now I am trying internet for number and adress...but not so much results...3 numbers of familly nothing else...
    The goal is to live day by day not to much thinking hahaha !!!!
    I love to save money!!! Frugal life hahaah !!!

  10. #25
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    Cath, I'm going to recommend, since you've put a lot of energy into finding him and it hasn't worked, that you take a deep breath. Try putting that energy into making a plan that does NOT include getting your money back. This may be very hard, but then, he may, over time, put his guard down, and then you can decide if it is still worth pursuing him. All the negative energy that you are feeling is probably not doing you any good, health-wise. Have a good cry, or a good walk, or a good dance or a good scream, and then make a new plan. That would be my recommendation. Please accept all the positive vibrations that are coming your way from us and turn towards a brighter future.
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    Smart Canuck Minou's Avatar
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    Can't something be done through maintenance enforcement if there's a court order to pay child support?

    Hope you get lots of child support backpay in the end, PeachyKeen!

    Cath: I think you should just let this go, as I don't think you'll ever get the money back. $860 is not as bad as it could have been, and it's just not worth the stress. Just make sure you never lend anyone money again! Go on a dating site and meet some guys!

  12. #27
    Mastermind cath007's Avatar
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    Well...Thanks you to everyone who have the courage and opening to tell theirs stories.It is not easy for anyone to live that. Thanks you for the tips.I will be again in this thread to read the comments and if I have some kind of thinking to writhe or developments.
    momof3heathens likes this.
    The goal is to live day by day not to much thinking hahaha !!!!
    I love to save money!!! Frugal life hahaah !!!

  13. #28
    Mastermind cath007's Avatar
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    Well let just say some guys (or womens) I dont want to do discriminality are better to live single and alone instead of making &*&*(&(& and not be able to have and understand what a ''relationship'' is really.Avoid the type of person who look for vulnerability ,and those sort of things..It is not a Relationship this person want for sure For me I will be single all my life to avoid that...much better
    The goal is to live day by day not to much thinking hahaha !!!!
    I love to save money!!! Frugal life hahaah !!!

  14. #29
    Mastermind cath007's Avatar
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    But you see after the Relationship what the type of guy he is really is..now I know theirs'' pattern''
    The goal is to live day by day not to much thinking hahaha !!!!
    I love to save money!!! Frugal life hahaah !!!

  15. #30
    Mastermind cath007's Avatar
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    I am affraid it will happen to others womens..but I guess I cannot do anything...
    Shwa Girl likes this.
    The goal is to live day by day not to much thinking hahaha !!!!
    I love to save money!!! Frugal life hahaah !!!

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