MUST buy only what's on baby registry? Really?

[Minou]

Im kinda half on this half off.. while having a basket of goodies may work for some moms it may not work for others. some mothers may choose to go all natural. instead of wet wipes, they use cloth and water.. ykwim..
maybe if you can find a little more about what this Mom plans on doing when baby is born you can do a more focused item. for ie. is she planning on:
nursing- a nursing pillow would be very handy.. (would have LOVED LOVED!! one of these) instead of an ole pillow
is she a 'neat' person who likes a clean home- make a one time GC for a maid service, for the day she comes home.
is she cloth diapering- a GC for a week's service. or maybe some cute covers for it.
maybe some meals planned out ahead for Dad to stick in the oven, etc when you have tons of company you tend to forget to eat.. moms NEED to keep their energy levels up.
do you know someone who does awesome photography- a gift certificate/Gc for an hours worth of shots. who doesn't love pics of the new babe.
offer to come watch babe while Dads at work (once he goes back, if he takes time off) so Mom can grab a nap, or a shower or tend to those things new mommies need to take care of. i kept going to my moms at least 2-3x a week just to nap for an hour.
i would hate to see such a beautiful and well thought out gift basket sorta be put on the 'back burner' or whatever..
whenever i've done gift baskets- shower, wedding etc. i always send a little question sheet or just kind of ask a few key questions to see what mom really needs. works every time.

The thing is, this basket is for a term person at work. I figured I would likely be doing it myself, but was lucky to have some others in our dept. join in and contribute! She'll be leaving about 3 months before the baby is born, so some of the "after the baby" suggestions won't work. We may never see her again! In conversation, I have been able to get quite a bit of information, though! She will be cloth diapering, so I'm thinking a roll of diaper liners as well (I wouldn't want to be dealing with that newborn poop on cloth!). As for wipes, I don't know... I figured one travel pack of wipes wouldn't hurt -- probably good to put in the car for on-the-go!

[sweetmomma]

I think your basket made with love is a wonderful idea! Really depends on the "personality" of the mom what she feels she will use or receive to make life easier for her and the new babe. I find a lot of people use registries to obtain gifts they probably can't afford but would like to have or the "cool" gifts! I don't see anything wrong with that for a few items but some people go overboard. My BFF had her first child last week and I put together a box for her. I bought a onesie, sleeper, 2 pc cotton pjs, a sippy cup, bath towel and face cloth set, a bib and added some diaper cream samples. I hope to add a few more small items but don't want the box to weigh too much and cost a lot of mail! I mentioned that I was buying the clothing a larger size so her DS can grow into them. She didn't quite understand at the time although I know she's appreciative but she will soon!

[CouponLover618]

I think your idea is great! You're right - first-time moms sometimes don't realize what they're going to need. As some other posters mentioned, some of the best gifts I rec'd at my shower were ones I didn't register for. I never knew that I would need so many baby cloths - so glad someone gave me a huge package of these! I now buy diapers, shampoo, babywash, etc as baby shower gifts and the moms-to-be love it!

[SassyAshley]

I think gift registry are both good and bad. I cannot really comment on a baby one as I have no children and the only baby shower I was invited to was very informal (mom to be invited everyone and wrote the info on scrap pieces of paper from work). But I had a similar experience with a wedding registry. The registry was done at an upscale chain and even small items requested were the best of the best and quite expensive ($55 pepper mill, $45 peeler, $27/wash cloth). Pretty much their whole registry was out of my budget and the few things that were in my budget were already purchased by people who knew ahead of time what they were registering for.

I found an item on their registry at another store, I triple checked it and it was the exact same item and less than half the price. After the gift was given and everyone knew what was purchased someone commented to me that they were surprised I spent that kind of money. I had nothing to hide and mentioned I purchased it at a different store. There was some backlash when people found out (not the couple but others). I was told the registered at that store for a reason not for me to shop around and find a better price, the point was they wanted what they wanted from that store, they were not looking for a cheap knock off. The item I purchased was the exact item they had on their registry not some cheap knock off.

I think as long as the person receiving the gift is happy on or off the registry it shouldn't matter.

[MrsSunshine]

I understand now.. the basket makes better sense if your going in it with a few people, lessens the cost per person but you can still get a variety if items. its too bad you wont see her again. unless she pops back in after to show baby off.

[bargain_hunter_lola]

After having 2 babies, I sometimes laugh to myself at some of the comments from soon to be first time moms (mostly because I had the same type notions).

For example, I didn't put bottles on my registry because I wanted to BF - after weeks we gave up and were glad a few people gave us some and we didn't have to buy a bunch off the bat. Same with pacifiers, didn't want to use them. DD didn't but DS needed them and I was able to try a bunch that I got from DD's shower (I just put them away in case).

Another thing I didn't put on my registry was crib sheets. I had picked out 2 cute (and fairly pricey) sheets and thought it was enough. *snort* My mom surprised me with 5 more sheets and boy did I love her for it when DD had an accident /throw up multiples times in a night! At one point both my kids were in toddler size mattress (crib and toddler bed) and I loved having all the sheets!

[lghend]

What a wonderful, thoughtful gift! As some posters have mentioned, some gift registries are not affordable. Case in point, for a wedding registry the only thing I could afford on their list was ONE piece of silverware....ONE PIECE. I was embarrassed but it was all I could afford.

[Minou]

I think gift registry are both good and bad. I cannot really comment on a baby one as I have no children and the only baby shower I was invited to was very informal (mom to be invited everyone and wrote the info on scrap pieces of paper from work). But I had a similar experience with a wedding registry. The registry was done at an upscale chain and even small items requested were the best of the best and quite expensive ($55 pepper mill, $45 peeler, $27/wash cloth). Pretty much their whole registry was out of my budget and the few things that were in my budget were already purchased by people who knew ahead of time what they were registering for.

I found an item on their registry at another store, I triple checked it and it was the exact same item and less than half the price. After the gift was given and everyone knew what was purchased someone commented to me that they were surprised I spent that kind of money. I had nothing to hide and mentioned I purchased it at a different store. There was some backlash when people found out (not the couple but others). I was told the registered at that store for a reason not for me to shop around and find a better price, the point was they wanted what they wanted from that store, they were not looking for a cheap knock off. The item I purchased was the exact item they had on their registry not some cheap knock off.

I think as long as the person receiving the gift is happy on or off the registry it shouldn't matter.

Wow! Sounds like the other guests were jealous that you got such a great gift -- and didn't have to pay the marked-up price! They probably felt a bit taken! Just out of curiosity, how old were the people giving you the lecture?

I agree with people who say that the unexpected gifts at a shower are sometimes the most appreciated. I didn't have a baby shower, but I enjoyed the surprises I received at our wedding shower, because it felt like people were trying to surprise me with something I'd be pleased with!

[Granger]

The thing is, this basket is for a term person at work. I figured I would likely be doing it myself, but was lucky to have some others in our dept. join in and contribute! She'll be leaving about 3 months before the baby is born, so some of the "after the baby" suggestions won't work. We may never see her again! In conversation, I have been able to get quite a bit of information, though! She will be cloth diapering, so I'm thinking a roll of diaper liners as well (I wouldn't want to be dealing with that newborn poop on cloth!). As for wipes, I don't know... I figured one travel pack of wipes wouldn't hurt -- probably good to put in the car for on-the-go!

From someone who cloth diapers...get her regular diapers anyway (if you were planning on it)...she will thank you. Many ppl I know who plan cloth before having a baby do not stick with it...like Lola said romantic pre-kid notions we all have. I hoped to use cloth. My best shower gift was a cloth rental kit...try before you buy. I now cloth diaper two! We still use disposables for going out though.

After having 2 babies, I sometimes laugh to myself at some of the comments from soon to be first time moms (mostly because I had the same type notions).

For example, I didn't put bottles on my registry because I wanted to BF - after weeks we gave up and were glad a few people gave us some and we didn't have to buy a bunch off the bat. Same with pacifiers, didn't want to use them. DD didn't but DS needed them and I was able to try a bunch that I got from DD's shower (I just put them away in case).

Another thing I didn't put on my registry was crib sheets. I had picked out 2 cute (and fairly pricey) sheets and thought it was enough. *snort* My mom surprised me with 5 more sheets and boy did I love her for it when DD had an accident /throw up multiples times in a night! At one point both my kids were in toddler size mattress (crib and toddler bed) and I loved having all the sheets!

Crib sheets are one of the best and most overlooked gifts! Could not agree more!!!


I think your idea will be wonderful and well-received. Wish I had coworkers as thoughtful as you. It is clear you know your receiver well.

[Minou]

I did buy a small package of size 3 Huggies Little Movers for the basket. Got them for pretty much free at Shoppers with my $10 off $40 coupon when I was buying household items. I know plans can change, and I don't want to "undermine" her plans, but I figure she'll have lots of time to use size 3 disposables for daytrips/going out/overnight visits. Might buy some Pampers, too, if I find a deal... my oldest couldn't use Huggies at all, but I actually really like them for my second!

[Minou]

I figure she'll probably have lots of stuff from her relatives, who bought a beautiful crib for their babies and then co-slept until the kids were in beds! They must have crib bedding... right?

I bought crib sheets from Zellers for my oldest. They weren't cheap, but boy, were they hard to get onto the mattress! Two of them ended up tearing at one corner. Bought a few Kushies sheets for my second, and I love how easy they are to put on the mattress. Would have bought them as replacement sheets for my first DS had I known!

[PammieD]

I think gift registry are both good and bad. I cannot really comment on a baby one as I have no children and the only baby shower I was invited to was very informal (mom to be invited everyone and wrote the info on scrap pieces of paper from work). But I had a similar experience with a wedding registry. The registry was done at an upscale chain and even small items requested were the best of the best and quite expensive ($55 pepper mill, $45 peeler, $27/wash cloth). Pretty much their whole registry was out of my budget and the few things that were in my budget were already purchased by people who knew ahead of time what they were registering for.

I found an item on their registry at another store, I triple checked it and it was the exact same item and less than half the price. After the gift was given and everyone knew what was purchased someone commented to me that they were surprised I spent that kind of money. I had nothing to hide and mentioned I purchased it at a different store. There was some backlash when people found out (not the couple but others). I was told the registered at that store for a reason not for me to shop around and find a better price, the point was they wanted what they wanted from that store, they were not looking for a cheap knock off. The item I purchased was the exact item they had on their registry not some cheap knock off.

I think as long as the person receiving the gift is happy on or off the registry it shouldn't matter.

Sounds like a snot...sorry to say it!

[GeorgiaK]

I was fortunate enough to have two sisters who had kids before me. When it came time for me to buy the necessities, I turned to them. I used to go to Walmart, stand in the baby section and have panic attacks. We sat down and made a list of the real necessities and THEN went shopping. They also set up a list on email for guests to my shower who asked what I would need.

A lot of them gave me gift cards, which were put to great use buying the crib, matress, and the real essentials.

Now, when I give a shower gift, I usually do a diaper cake in a basket filled with travel sizes of the J&J essentials, white plain cotton onesies, newborn pacifier, socks, and a gc to toys r us or walmart. This gives the new parents some money to fill in the necessities.

[sweet sparrow]

I would be totally happy with any of the useful gifts people mentioned here as a first time mother. I know of so many other people that would be as well. Gifts like vitamin D drops or a nasal aspirator sound like terrific gifts that I would appreciate. Things like gift cards for maids, coupons to look after the baby during a shower or nap would be nothing less than fantastic!

I found an item on their registry at another store, I triple checked it and it was the exact same item and less than half the price. After the gift was given and everyone knew what was purchased someone commented to me that they were surprised I spent that kind of money. I had nothing to hide and mentioned I purchased it at a different store. There was some backlash when people found out (not the couple but others). I was told the registered at that store for a reason not for me to shop around and find a better price, the point was they wanted what they wanted from that store, they were not looking for a cheap knock off. The item I purchased was the exact item they had on their registry not some cheap knock off.

I think as long as the person receiving the gift is happy on or off the registry it shouldn't matter.

Some people register at places where there are a lot of locations so people can choose to buy online or walk into the store and pick something out. However, if I knew someone bought something from my registry at half price, I'd be completely over the moon. I cringe at some of the prices on registries, or when people buy the "maintenance plan".

I can't imagine someone turning up their nose at gifts. Gifts are not demands you can make of someone, much less your families and friends. I once turned down a baby shower because the person (whom I'd only known for a few months since she crashed our wedding and demanded to be announced at the ceremony as an out of town guest) asked for a box of diapers and an additional gift.

[GoJays]

First-timers have no clue what they're doing. I think your basket is fantastic, I know I certainly would have appreciated it. I remember with DD, I got a beautiful knitted cardigan with matching skirt and hat from one person (I'm sure the outfit wasn't cheap) and from another person I got a pack of baby washcloths... guess which one got the most use? In fact, nine years later, I still have those washcloths kicking around someplace, whereas the outfit was probably put on once and then donated or sold. Practicality should always override "want" for baby gifts every time.