MUST buy only what's on baby registry? Really?

[Minou]

Just want to hear some perspectives on this...

I'm working on a baby shower basket. The recipient is a first-time parent, but she knows will be receiving all the top-of-the-line baby stuff/clothes/crib/equipment/toys as hand-me-downs from wealthy relative who is finished having children, so she won't need much big stuff.

My plan is to purchase all those 'necessities' that you need for any new baby: Infant Tylenol, D-drops, Live Clean Baby products (I think the recipient would favour this type), diaper rash cream, washcloths,bibs, socks, feeding spoons/bowls, sippy cup, travel pack of wipes, baby teething ball-type toy, Robeez for walking age, a cute sleeper or outfit, classic baby books, baby toothbrush, and possibly a Leapfrog My Pal Scout (that can be programmed to say the child's name). I'd put everything in a basket sturdy enough to hold toys or nursery supplies.

I mentioned my plan to someone also buying a gift, and she looked at me, frowned, and said, "Well, but I think she's registered somewhere... and I always buy from the registry, because it's what the person wants... I think she's registered at a boutique store on the other side of town, but I haven't figured out which one yet."

My thinking is that most of what I have planned is stuff that she'd need to buy anyway. I often think that new parents who register at boutique stores have no idea of what they really need. I'm 35 and have two small children, while the one suggesting that I should buy only from a registry is about 25 and single with no children. The recipient has had some big expenses lately, and will have a greatly reduced income while on maternity leave, which is why I'd like to purchase some of the basic consumable items she'd need to buy.

What do you think?

[bargain_hunter_lola]

I think your idea is fantastic!

We registered when we had our shower but guess what? Our favourite gifts BY FAR were ones not off the registry. One of them was a care kit like you mentioned (Tylenol, Ovol, etc). You have no idea how much I valued the gift when we need those items and it was in the middle of the night! As a first time parent I honestly didn't think to buy those items (thermometer yes, Ovol no!!!!).

I always make gift baskets for showers and some items are from the registry (if they aren't insanely priced) but most are things I think would be super handy for the new mom.

[MillieH]

Gosh Minou, one of my friends did what are you are doing when my daughter was born 33 years ago.. I dont remember any of the other gifts but i remember that one.. it was great.. had all the necessities.. I LOVED it. I also used it !

[uanoor]

I think its a graet idea.

[marstec]

Being a practical person, I think your gift idea is a good one. When it all comes down to it, whatever you give should be accepted graciously, anything else would be crass on the recipient's part.

[Nomerr]

My girlfriend ended up with many duplicates because people did not 'follow' the registry she set up. I remember her complaining about that to me. The only thing is that as a first time mommy you dont really understand how many burp cloths, diaper creams and "essentials" that you actually go through or even lose (little toys and etc). I think if your basket is an 'essential basket' your are fine. Just maybe check what your friend/family member has on the registry and make sure you dont get too much of something on the registry.....also you can never fail with Diapers and wipes!!!!

[linnyeg]

Do what you had planned, it's a fantastic idea! It's always good to have that stuff on hand, so much easier then having to run out with a sick baby to pick it up last minute!

[Bronwen]

Amazing gift! No matter how much money you have, a baby still poops in diapers and needs baths etc lol. So all that stuff is a wicked nice idea. I'm sure once this first time mom realizes how fast you go thru expensive diapers and wipes etc, she will be saying you got her the best gift! lol

My bestie is due in August and I've been stocking up on the same stuff. I also put together a hospital bag for her labour (travel size shampoo etc) and a kit to take a print of the baby's hands/feet.

I think your idea is fantastic. She will be lucky to have such a practical gift that clearly had a lot of thought and love put into it

[Zonny]

Agreed, your idea is great. You know better than she does what is needed!

[PammieD]

K, so as a type a personality (meaning slightly control freaky) and having just received a lot of baby gifts recently, here's my thoughts on the shower goft thong for the 3 showers I've been to in the last 2 months.

I got so much clothing, bibs, pacifiers etc that my baby didnt use. Complete waste of money and while yes, I was appreciative to even recive a gift from many of these people, I received a lot of "crap" (yes, I said it, I received "crap" that isn't necessary or practical). While a crinolin (sp? ) tutu and down puffer vest are very cute in size 0, it was the stupidest thing ever. Alexa spent her first 3 months in sleepers, diaper shirts, and robeeze. I now have a full tote of clothing she has never worn and I just feel like it's such a waste

Here's what I've taken from the "new mom/goft recipient" experience. There are soooo many little things that you need (the "essentials") but you still want stuff that is off of your registry.

I now make everyone diaper cakes or baskets full of essentials, but buy off of their registry where possible (receiving blankets, wash clothes, towels etc). When I was pregnant, I had so many visions of what I wanted my nursery and her bathroom to look like, and ended up buyong a bunch of the stuff myself because I wanted everything to be "perfect" and to match.

Here's what I include in my gifts now:
- Pampers diapers (cause I learned the hars way that Huggies suck! Or rather Pampers don't seem to leak on as many babies as Huggies do)
- Hydrasense nasal aspirator ($19.99 from sDM - $10 coupon). I learned the hard way in the middle of the night that those bulbs in the first aid kits suck at sucking. I've had 2 of my friends thank me already cause they've had to use it
- plain white onesies on size 3-6 months (the children's place has great ones that go on sale a lot in their newborn section. ..she still wears them almost daily)
- some stuff like receiving blankets, bath towel, wash cloths, a toy (usually a bright starts/lamaze type toy), maybe a bib, crib sheet etc. from their registry (so they get stuff that matches their theme, not conflicts with it)
- tylenol (can't have enough of that once teething comes around! ) baby d drops etc like you said is all great
- Robeeze are amazing! (She wears these daily as slippers to keep her feet warm)...great idea!

I learned the hard way too that not all babies need sleep sacks, diaper cream, Vaseline etc. We've been lucky in that she hasn't had diaper rash, but she also refuses pacifiers, teething rings, to be swaddled or restricted when she sleeps...so I have a lot of that stiff that's gone to waste. My view on that in hindsight, is it's great to have one to try it out, but no point in investing a lot of $ in something if it's not necessarily gonna stick

[DianneS]

While I want to buy items that people will actually use, I find the idea that one must buy only from the gift registry list to be somewhat offensive. What people are receiving at baby showers are "gifts", not items from a list of demands. I often buy from a registry, if the items are affordable...but I don't feel obligated to do so The items you are putting in the basket add up to a lot of $$$ out of the new parents' pocket and I am willing to be they will all be put to good use. Personally, I think it's a wonderful idea. If people have so much stuff that they need almost nothing, maybe they could have a shower in honour of their baby and give the items to a charity that works with low-income moms who get very little when their babies are born. That way they can celebrate the baby's birth and do something meaningful at the same time.

[Zonny]

Diaper cakes are a great idea, especially when you use a couple different kinds/sizes of diapers. I think that it's not so much a Huggies vs. Pampers thing, it's the shape of your baby's bottom and what fits best, so having a couple brands to try on your new baby is great. My DS leaked badly in Huggies, the legs were too big, but on girls apparently they often work better. I did a diaper cake for my cousin, she kept it in baby's room and used the contents for months, trying the different brands/sizes of diapers, using the bodywash, nail clippers, etc.

Another great thing to give with your baby gift, particularly if you're shopping off-registry - gift receipts. That way if it's something the parents don't need, they can return it. SDM doesn't do them (I asked them for one once, they had no idea what a gift receipt even was!), but most big retailers like Walmart do.

As parents know, some things that you get a lot of and think, "I don't need all these!" Baby washcloths are a prime example. We had TONS of them after three showers. But y'know what? In some cases, those things become disposable! If you're cleaning up something particularly icky (and we all know, with a new baby, you will), you realize it's just not worth it to rinse that thing out and put it in the washing machine.

[Lyssia510]

I think registries are more of a guild line than anything. It helps people who don't have kids get an idea of what to buy, whereas people who have had kids recently know what gets over looked and will go for more practical things. However I do know a girl who ONLY wanted stuff off their registries and even included on the shower invite that if you didn't get something off the registry don't bother showing up(and she wondered why her shower only had 3 people lol)
My go to baby gift these days is a cute outfit with a gift receipt(from a store they have in their city so they can return it if it doesn't fit/they don't like it), a gift certificate for a maid(these go dirt cheap on the deal sites) because who wants to worry about a clean house when you have a newborn and a frozen meal of some sort.

[MrsSunshine]

Im kinda half on this half off.. while having a basket of goodies may work for some moms it may not work for others. some mothers may choose to go all natural. instead of wet wipes, they use cloth and water.. ykwim..
maybe if you can find a little more about what this Mom plans on doing when baby is born you can do a more focused item. for ie. is she planning on:
nursing- a nursing pillow would be very handy.. (would have LOVED LOVED!! one of these) instead of an ole pillow
is she a 'neat' person who likes a clean home- make a one time GC for a maid service, for the day she comes home.
is she cloth diapering- a GC for a week's service. or maybe some cute covers for it.
maybe some meals planned out ahead for Dad to stick in the oven, etc when you have tons of company you tend to forget to eat.. moms NEED to keep their energy levels up.
do you know someone who does awesome photography- a gift certificate/Gc for an hours worth of shots. who doesn't love pics of the new babe.
offer to come watch babe while Dads at work (once he goes back, if he takes time off) so Mom can grab a nap, or a shower or tend to those things new mommies need to take care of. i kept going to my moms at least 2-3x a week just to nap for an hour.
i would hate to see such a beautiful and well thought out gift basket sorta be put on the 'back burner' or whatever..
whenever i've done gift baskets- shower, wedding etc. i always send a little question sheet or just kind of ask a few key questions to see what mom really needs. works every time.

[TinaMarieB]

Your idea is perfect!!! it's from the heart and took time to put together!! it will for sure be appreciated