A little early to be teaching "that" isnt it??

[JennyFromTheRock]

When I was a kid Judy Blume's Are you there God, it's me, Margaret (female puberty) and Then again maybe I won't (male puberty) were hot titles. They are rated grade 6 and up...I know they were pretty dated when I read them (sanitary napkin belts?) but they are probably in your daughter's school library. Then again maybe I won't covers the topic of boys getting excited in their sleep. It's also over 40 years old. So really there is nothing new under the sun, even if a 9 year old was not allowed to check these books out there is nothing stopping them from reading the best parts in the library.

It's funny you mentioned that, I bought her "are you there god it's me Margaret" just last week! I read it myself in grade 5.

again though, those books are rated for grade 6, regardless if she gets her hands on them in a library ( the male one ) they aren't intended for her. This class was intended for her. The books are perhaps rated for grade 6 because that in my option is a good time to know. I don't want my child to start to think she's "ready" to feel sexy and become interested in boys beside she was told she would. I think for them to know those things they may see it as something they should be doing.

Everyone parent differently, and I'm more of a conservative person..... I just can't help but feel it was too much too soon.

[oscarandme]

Now today I'm glad I don't have diapers to buy, still wish I had a Safeway though...

Oh my!!! I do not blame you at all for all the reasons you mentionned. I started when I was 9 and I had no idea what was going on (1971) and my mother just gave me a "pad" and said you will be getting those every month. Older parents.. I remember different emotions and boys reacting to body changes early and stuff and I think that affected my growing up, seriously because no one else was going through this at my age, bras weren't cool and boys were mean and I don't have little ones but I imagine some of those things don't change. Some people I have known as grown-ups have difficulty talking about it amongst ourselves, I can only try to imagine trying to explain to a little person that you created and love. I cannot imagine and seperate classes I would have thought that too...and changing the curriculium..Maybe some parents should get together before next class and discuss what happened or appoint a few parents to sit in on the next one to see exactly. I can only imagine your reaction, my mouth dropped when I read that your little one knows how to spell penis and .. I have to go and snuggle my little furry babies right now, all of them. Good luck Jenny to you and DH!! I just thought of something, you have otber little ones, what did they say when she shared hernew found knowledge? another can of worms?

[saddlebag]

okay...so here's the deal with me.....we've always been very honest with answering our kids questions. I know some parents aren't. A friend of mine was really upset that her 9 yr old son just learned about nocturnal emissions in school recently, personally...i think it's too young. my 9 year old daughter knows all of the "private" body part names in real terminology, she chooses to use her own words still...fine with me...

I think kids need to be educated on this stuff, i think parents should have the sense to do it!!! I also think parents to be more responsible with parenting, and not allowing their kids to roam the roads, smoke and drink alcohol, etc...

Last Friday in my daughters school there was a speaker in talking about gay, lesbian, transgender stuff...parents were not made aware of this talk beforehand, which again, i don't think was fair, i don't have a problem kids knowing about this stuff, the speaker happens to be my sister in law. the problem i have, is i think the age group may have been a little too young, grades 4-6, i feel the parents SHOULD have been made aware of the talk before it occurred, because of ethical/cultural/whatever reasons.

I do understand things are happening earlier...but i want my kids to be awesome readers, and writers, and speakers...the personal things i can teach them at home. Perhaps it's the nurse in me, perhaps it's because we have a great relationship with our kids, perhaps it's because we keep track of what they are doing and are involved in their lives, i feel competent in teaching my children certain things that a parent should teach....

While on this topic...kinda, sorta, not really...my sons grade 11 English teacher gave them an assignment two weeks ago...to write a suicide letter as a single parent...i refused to let him write it, spoke with the principal, then the superintendent of the school board, some of the teachers in the schools make me go hmmmm....

[Minou]

Kids laugh because they're uncomfortable, but they really do want to know the information. I think it's more dangerous for the opposite gender to be a mystery. I used to teach in elementary, and I'd have to do the whole spiel about this every year. What's being described is pretty standard.

I'm not sure what harm the OP feels has come to her daughter from this. Nice that she came home so prepared to talk openly with parents about what she learned at school. I honestly don't think the OP should be complaining to the school/to the teacher. Believe me, the teacher is aware that this is a sensitive subject, and may not be too comfortable talking about it in class, either. I don't think he/she needs to be criticized for very minor details that a parent doesn't like. The school division I work in has training and protocols for sensitive health issues, and it wouldn't be possible to bring in a nurse or sex educator, as their rules for "what can and can't be discussed" are considerably looser.

Look at this as an opportunity to answer your daughter's questions and let her know that you're willing to listen if she continues to have questions

[Bronwen]

Personally, I find that attitude rather ...icky..mainly because it infers that once women reach that certain age, they should hang-up the sexy hat and dwindle into asexual obscurity. I like having intercourse with Mr P and I'm not stopping simply because this one activity had been elevated to a higher plane than say eating or exercising which can be as pleasurable as well as being helpful to a healthy mind/body for the majority of people.

I'm not going to get into an online debate about someone taking one thing I said and twisting my words.

As the OP stated, her daughter came home and talked about sexyness which is a huge factor yes, but you should be teaching kids that sex makes babies, and that it's fun and healthy within the confines of a relationship. I was implying that I'm not going to teach my kids to go out and be promiscuous.

Maybe you don't have kids. If you don't, my personal opinion is that you don't really understand so you shouldn't really be weighing in on how to raise them.

Anyway... Kids are awake

[ottawa]

touchy touchy subject.

we're all going to raise our children the way we see fit and we will ALWAYS have an opinion on how others should be raising their's(that includes people that dont have children as well). whether you vocalize it or not, everyone's come across a child and thought i'd never let my child do that. it's not meant to be condescending, it's just in our nature.

[Andit]

I don't have children, so thankfully won't be in this situation (very happy I don't have to have the "why are you fixed" chat with the pets ).

Personally, I find 9 a bit young, but that's just me. I was pretty clueless at that age (I was convinced that folks were having sleepovers and playing board games when they spent the night in each other's cabins on Love Boat ). In the dark ages of my youth, we didn't clue into this until VC Andrews came out with Flowers in the Attic in Gr 7. Yikes.

What I do find ironic is that there is a discussion going on about 10 yr olds being too young to watch horror movies, but 9 is appropriate to be taught sexuality.

But, what do I know. My folks took me to R-rated flicks at an early age and I was having a small glass of either wine or beer with dinner from the age of 4.

[JennyFromTheRock]

Thank you everyone for your input. Again, it was more-so the change of plans that had shocked me, and thats what it was, it wasnt that I was angry, I was shocked. I thought she would be learning one thing, but she learned another.

Someone asked "whats the harm in her knowing" and I suppose there is no "harm" but we didn't learn those things till grade 6 and I'm sure many people didn't, I think that age would be a little more appropriate. I mean, I think they could have done an introductory this year, then followed through next year with some more information, then followed through in grade 6 with more. I don't think it was really necessary to throw it all out on the table now. She still has baby teeth, believes in Santa and the tooth fairy, plays with Barbies.... She's 9 and in my eyes shes my baby, I think she should have a chance to be a kid, before she has to worry about being an adult.

Again, if I were mentally prepared I wouldn't have had that jaw dropping moment. I had taught her about her own body, and babies, but some of the details I think were better left for a little later. Maybe I'm just going through my own little "breakdown" because my oldest daughter is growing up?? I just think if we were made aware of what was going to be discussed I would have been more comfortable with the outcome of it all.

[hollyquaiscer]

I too feel that your child is never to young to learn sex education. The classes are modified into a language that 9 and 10 year olds will understand. It's always best to check the curriculum for the year ahead of time, and if you have any issues with any of the courses or content being taught, bring it up ahead of time with both the school and the teacher teaching that class. As far as Sex Ed, with everything out there today, and the basic fact that both girls and boys are maturing at a much faster rate than our parents and we did, it's important for them to understand and be knowledgeable about the facts of life. If you had any concerns at all, or do know, it would be best to first speak with the teacher who taught the class, then go further if your not satisfied with your end result. At school the fact the children learned are correct, and it teaches them that "the birds and the bees" is not a taboo subject. I WANT my children to ask me questions about sex, and any other questions of a sexual nature that they have. I don't want them learning from the neighbors son/daughter. As a parent, it can sometimes be hard to understand why the school board does some of the things they do and when, but as a teacher, I know for fact that the only outcome we are look for is that which will give the child the correct, accurate and useful information that will carry them through life. Being a foster parent for many, many years as well, I all to often fostered young ladies ages 8 to 18 that truly had no idea about sex. They thought they did, they were told by men, boys and other girlfriends, but in actual fact, when they thought they were all grown up and knew it all, they knew nothing. Please be thankful that your board of education gave your child the facts. As a parent, it our job to fill in the rest of the blanks that WILL be coming. My 5 dd's still ask me questions about sex (and various other sundry) AND I'm happy we can talk about things like that. I'm positive that it is in part due to the fact that when they did Sex Ed in school, it was in a mixed class so they are aware that sex is not some nasty dirty subject.

[redhdlois]

Jenn ~ Why don't you contact the school and find out what happened ?? And clarify exactly what was told to the kids (and what was how the kids interpreted it). I remember I was in elementary school when we had that class, I can't quite remember what grade but I think it was 5 so I would have been 10. Definitely not too soon IMO,

[JennyFromTheRock]

I went to the school today for a class presentation, on the wall there was a board with the health class information on it. I was curious if the teacher had actually called it "wet dreams" and told them they were going to start feeling sexy.

I took pictures of it. Most of it I'm ok with, but regardless my opinion is that a 9 year old has no purpose knowing a boys penis gets larger or they have wet dreams. A lot of it im ok with but as I said before there's no reason they shouldn't have done a intro this year then follow up next year with more info and so on.

Again, those are just my feelings on it. Everyone has different ways of parenting and have different guidelines for what they think is appopriate, I'm not judging anyone for their choices and I'm not asking to be judged for mine. Those are my feelings. No more no less. And once again, as to not sound like a broken record, had I been aware of this in the beginning it would likely not have been such a shock.

[Candini]

I went to the school today for a class presentation, on the wall there was a board with the health class information on it. I was curious if the teacher had actually called it "wet dreams" and told them they were going to start feeling sexy.

I took pictures of it. Most of it I'm ok with, but regardless my opinion is that a 9 year old has no purpose knowing a boys penis gets larger or they have wet dreams. A lot of it im ok with but as I said before there's no reason they shouldn't have done a intro this year then follow up next year with more info and so on.

Again, those are just my feelings on it. Everyone has different ways of parenting and have different guidelines for what they think is appopriate, I'm not judging anyone for their choices and I'm not asking to be judged for mine. Those are my feelings. No more no less. And once again, as to not sound like a broken record, had I been aware of this in the beginning it would likely not have been such a shock.

Sexual thoughts at that age? No.

[DianneS]

While it is a parent's responsibility to see what is in the curriculum for the year, it is also the school's responsibility to provide accurate information about what is being covered. Like many others who have posted, we were always honest and straightforward with our kids about sex and had many discussions over the years. If Sex-ed is taught in the classroomn, it should be a partnership between school and parents. There will always be parents who don't want to be part of the partnership, but for those who do, communication is paramount. And while some people don't feel Jenny should talk to the school, I would disagree....if the school doesn't know how parents feel they don't learn anything for next time.

I'll close off my "two cents" with a story that opened my eyes when my daughter was quite small. A pastor I know shared a story about how his 5-year-old grand-daughter was playing outside the building and brought in a balloon that she had found laying under some bushes. The balloon was, of course, a used condom and an early sex-ed conversation ensued. His point was that in this day and age kids have a much greater need for information than ever before. Our kids need to know about needles, condoms, etc. simply for their own safety....and they need to know when they are very young. It's sad that they have to grow up so early.

[Midnightly]

i agree it should have started with an intro class before jumping into the deep end... break it down into a few separate classes (maybe on the shorter side vrs one long class) to let kids absorb it and mull it all over start with body changes.. then work through each level but keep it on a age appropriate level.. keeping emotions out of it (feeling sexy, feeling attracted to..)

what they posted up looks ok but that is only one part.. you don't know what was said

[JennyFromTheRock]

Now today I'm glad I don't have diapers to buy, still wish I had a Safeway though...

Oh my!!! I do not blame you at all for all the reasons you mentionned. I started when I was 9 and I had no idea what was going on (1971) and my mother just gave me a "pad" and said you will be getting those every month. Older parents.. I remember different emotions and boys reacting to body changes early and stuff and I think that affected my growing up, seriously because no one else was going through this at my age, bras weren't cool and boys were mean and I don't have little ones but I imagine some of those things don't change. Some people I have known as grown-ups have difficulty talking about it amongst ourselves, I can only try to imagine trying to explain to a little person that you created and love. I cannot imagine and seperate classes I would have thought that too...and changing the curriculium..Maybe some parents should get together before next class and discuss what happened or appoint a few parents to sit in on the next one to see exactly. I can only imagine your reaction, my mouth dropped when I read that your little one knows how to spell penis and .. I have to go and snuggle my little furry babies right now, all of them. Good luck Jenny to you and DH!! I just thought of something, you have otber little ones, what did they say when she shared hernew found knowledge? another can of worms?

Sorry I missed your question, my other kids are 20 months old and 3, if the words "thomas the train" or "cookie" aren't part of the conversation they tend to null it out lol.