To Lurk or not to Lurk???

[electric_viking]

[Giddymonkey]

Along this topic I have a question. If someone posts a brag that is an obvious misuse and abuse of coupons (but they are sooo proud of themselves), how do you "politely" say that it was wrong? As a couponing community, we shouldn't stand back and not say anything because silence can be seen as acceptance, and new couponers who read those posts may think it is okay to use a coupon that way. This in turn will cause more coupon abuse and thus make it harder for honest couponers in the long run. We need a way to police ourselves to maintain the integrity of couponing and let fraudsters know that we don't approve and won't congratulate and pat them on the back when they cheat.

[ex0ticb3lla]

Along this topic I have a question. If someone posts a brag that is an obvious misuse and abuse of coupons (but they are sooo proud of themselves), how do you "politely" say that it was wrong? As a couponing community, we shouldn't stand back and not say anything because silence can be seen as acceptance, and new couponers who read those posts may think it is okay to use a coupon that way. This in turn will cause more coupon abuse and thus make it harder for honest couponers in the long run. We need a way to police ourselves to maintain the integrity of couponing and let fraudsters know that we don't approve and won't congratulate and pat them on the back when they cheat.

but that's the problem..if you say anything, then you're just being "negative" and need to go back to your corner lol

[vesper]

Along this topic I have a question. If someone posts a brag that is an obvious misuse and abuse of coupons (but they are sooo proud of themselves), how do you "politely" say that it was wrong? .

I think it should be as you mentioned.. you say it politely.

[PurpleBunny89]

I found it kinda funny that I lurked on this thread earlier in the day and am now back posting.

A little while ago - okay summer last year-ish there was a certain MOD who hmm how should I say this? This MOD would ignore you, pick sides, randomly delete your posts because you broke the rules but ignore any reports you did etc. It was basically making you feel like you were in high school all over again and if you weren't this specific MOD's friend then you had to sit outside her clic and watch.

Anyways, a lot of people seemingly agreed with me in private messages about the unfair treatment of us and how a lot of went into lurking mode because you weren't safe anywhere on the forums. Luckily this MOD is gone now and I haven't had any issues since.

I still stay in lurking mode now though for the most part because its less stressful this way always wondering if someone is going to attack you. Do you know one time I had someone 'rep' me a very rude nasty comment towards me. I was absolutely disgusted the little coward.

Anywho, I'm going back into the shadows (for the most part) because I don't think things will be changing anytime soon.

[Snow In Summer]

Everyone, please read my original post again! This thread has absolutely nothing to do with the misuse, abuse or the use of fraudulent coupons. This thread is about how YOU communicate with others in this forum in a respectful & kind fashion … nothing more and nothing less.

[MillieH]

You report it to a mod.. its not our job to police in this thread, its for brags only.. its up to a mod to do the policing.. the mod will private message the person so not to embarrass them and get the thread removed..

Along this topic I have a question. If someone posts a brag that is an obvious misuse and abuse of coupons (but they are sooo proud of themselves), how do you "politely" say that it was wrong? As a couponing community, we shouldn't stand back and not say anything because silence can be seen as acceptance, and new couponers who read those posts may think it is okay to use a coupon that way. This in turn will cause more coupon abuse and thus make it harder for honest couponers in the long run. We need a way to police ourselves to maintain the integrity of couponing and let fraudsters know that we don't approve and won't congratulate and pat them on the back when they cheat.

[oscarandme]

I agree with Snow in Summer!! I started to type the same topic last night about this very subject and did not think this week was a good week for me to handle the comments and possible backlash . I have also been reading from other members the same and I admit I am sensitive and the I also was a lurker for for a few years and I believe the first night I was approved to SC, to have a voice I replied to a thread and someone just want off on me and I was in tears (ugly cry tears) and could not believe that I signed up to this type of atmosphere, that was not what I had been reading. Thankfully Jezebel and a few other members friended me and calmed me down and I hung in there and agree that there and so thankful I did. There are ways of saying things and sometimes. I often notice it is the same members that come out kicking and screaming and not to be forgotten is that we are here all still learning and by the comments and explanations help us to do so, that is how we learn. If you type it and read it back to yourself and think as an objective reader -would think be harsh then just highlight and delete and pass thread by.

We all have enough in our daily lives to deal with and for me the forum has helped our home so much, helped somewhat my typing skills, my expressing myself, thinking things through, analitical skills, tips, tricks, making friends, and I admit mis-using coupons sometimes because I am terrible sometimes are the fine print or like the other day posting the cheap oils thread and getting some flack for size and stuff.

Trying to help and understand some corrections needed to be made but a few more nouns and verbs in the replies would have been appreciated. It is discouraging from posting things because then I am uncertain about all the information I sharedd being correct an then being responsible for every reply on that thread and sometimes I would rather just keep it to myself as much as I want to share . Yes I am sensitive and giving and all that muchy stuff but I was under the impression that the forum was a giving, loving hand-holding place to learn from people of the same minds and are here to help one another. I have grown-up a little since January hence OP thread and I have seen a decline in postings and it saddens me because those are successes from fellow members, learning lessons, team encouragement and sincere replies of information that you might not learn from but others might. I know a few times I have typed a few things and deleted them and a few times I left it and regreted it but felt like it had to be said. So I understand but there is a way to write things.

I wonder what all of a sudden to the members think have changed. I used to just look at the home page when I was a lurker so I don't know what it was before January.

Thank you for raising this issue Snow in Summer. It needed to be done.

[vesper]

It sucks that there are people on the internet who are not nice on forums. What a weird thing to do. It is really weird actually.

Joy in contagious, sorry people had upset you here!

[couponmummy]

Someone posted that I should buy myself a rope with the $5 CT scratch card since I had so many.

[lecale]

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[oscarandme]

Thank you vesper!! I appreciate the support. I am also sensitive (I can't help it) so when I see others are reacting too - I know it's not just me. so thanks again for the shoulder.

It sucks that there are people on the internet who are not nice on forums. What a weird thing to do. It is really weird actually.

Joy in contagious, sorry people had upset you here!

[shellylynn39]

Someone posted that I should buy myself a rope with the $5 CT scratch card since I had so many.

I don't post in the brag section..........as I haven't mastered adding pictures and I love them with pics............ I have to say couponmummy that I have learned so much from you in the years that I have been a member and love your brags.

I agree............... if you see a brag that is clearly "illegal" use of coupons then let the mods know.

I also agree that there should be repercussions for the negative nellies that can't seem to support anyone.

[oscarandme]

Yes lecale but it is just the way it is expressed that it comes accross "like you flippin' idioti"-can't you read or "you are giving us couponers a bad name" - "youare going to take away our rights".

When I go shopping most of the time I have a 53 year (DH) who is not wanting to shop, not wanting to pay and since I have started couponing really this January still learning and sweating and trying to get it right in front of his eyes not to mess up and trying to get the best bottom line for our home and justify to time I do to save money on reading, trading, mailing, costs, going up and down the isles and DH not paying attention to read coupon requirements as he's asking if I have a coupon for something else. Beingtold to hurry up. I am highly organized in that respect and as we are at the cashier trying to keep the coupons with items, PM flyer and catching it before it goes through incorrectly and DH messing everything up as he unloads the cart and I am watching the display, to see if all is going as should be as of course as we all know almost never as planned and he strikes up a converstaion with the person or people behind us saying I think we have a coupon for that and I need to scramble to find them and then he strikes a conversation with the cashier that I have to conitnue the conversation too.. and I do not have the option of him not coming - so and I am certain this is a mild scenario compared to some mommies or dads that go with their little ones on time restraints and in between crisises or lunch time or in between jobs.

All this to say that there might be sometimes that the details might escape a post and a 'THE COUPON IS FOR 1.42L" is a little rough to read after the OP has pondered about posting it to start off with and then to be corrected to feel like an idiot before getting a one liner confirming you are instead of offering a kinder reply of possibly : "You were lucky because the coupon was for 1.42L" I/we are learning but even teachers know to use a little tact and even just the fact that you need to comment about me making this point confirms the thread post...

I appreciate the correction but we are just asking for some tact to be used. If several members are agreeing and others care not to get involved I and Snow in Summer will say it. Just because we are faceless and maybe become just an address to some with several members I see cherished friendships accross Canada established and you do not talk to friends abruptly or with a curt approach a few nouns and extra verbs are not much more trouble to type than the message you are trying to convey. The brags are one of the many several fantastic features on the SC site and they are deminishing so and we all notice who several of them are but also appreciate the input and experience just please try to be a little kinder. We are a sharing community and are just asking a little more tenderness when entering a comment or whatever for all of us to read.

Oscar, the "flack" you received when you posted the non workable Mazola deal was just two people saying, the coupon is for the 1.42L size. No one said shame on you for misusing coupons or for that matter offered any type of judgement at all

On a forum if you make a mistake someone is bound to correct it at some point...just keep posting and don't worry about it

[lecale]

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