To Lurk or not to Lurk???

[ticul]

People, people, people, dont let negative comments get to you, we will have nothing to read and learn if all people stop posting.

I notice that there is almost no brag in the braging section and that make's me sad, sad, and very sad.

We all know not to let negatives get to us but it is so difficult some times.

People, people, people, dont let negatives comments get to you. There will always have some negative comments BUT there is a lot more positives ONES and PLEASE, PLEASE do not stop posting as I am learning with these post and others also..........................

And yes, i will be very sad if there is nothing in the braging section because this is how I am learning and GOD knows I have lost to learn. And yes I really need you beautiful peoples.

"we do not trow a basket of apples because of a few bad ones". All of us are here to learn and help others so, let's not get those negatives comments get to us and move on.........................

[tccl21]

I found it kinda funny that I lurked on this thread earlier in the day and am now back posting.

A little while ago - okay summer last year-ish there was a certain MOD who hmm how should I say this? This MOD would ignore you, pick sides, randomly delete your posts because you broke the rules but ignore any reports you did etc. It was basically making you feel like you were in high school all over again and if you weren't this specific MOD's friend then you had to sit outside her clic and watch.

Anyways, a lot of people seemingly agreed with me in private messages about the unfair treatment of us and how a lot of went into lurking mode because you weren't safe anywhere on the forums. Luckily this MOD is gone now and I haven't had any issues since.

I still stay in lurking mode now though for the most part because its less stressful this way always wondering if someone is going to attack you. Do you know one time I had someone 'rep' me a very rude nasty comment towards me. I was absolutely disgusted the little coward.

Anywho, I'm going back into the shadows (for the most part) because I don't think things will be changing anytime soon.

LOL! I served 4 years under Mod from h*ll. I enjoy this place much more this year I mostly lurk now due to time constraints, but I do enjoy reading everyone's brags. If I see some that suck or are misusing coupons, I just click the handy "close" button on my browser and move on to the next

[ticul]

Someone posted that I should buy myself a rope with the $5 CT scratch card since I had so many.

OK, Now that is bad and how can someone say something like this. (that is very sick that someone would even thing of saying something like this). To me, people that comments like that should just be taking of this site. If ,no really, if nothing is being done we will all miss out on a good thing.

Do not stop posting CouponMummy we need you.............................

[angel_2011]

wow couponmummy - im shocked someone said that to you - hope u reported them.

now, i don't spend a lot of time in brags - mostly in trains and chat... anywhos, the only time i've ever seen negative comments in brags is when coupons have been misued. Most recent one is the scotts weedbegone $10 coupon.
Maybe along with the rule about not attacking other members/brags, there should also be a new rule about not bragging about coupon misuse... in any way, shape or form (manuf printing error, store error, etc)

btw, i liked that particular mod.. never really KNEW her, but she was very friendly and always took care of any prob i had... just like FP now

[lecale]

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[marstec]

Some people go to extremes. It bugs me to see greed, especially when it's coupled with misused coupons. That's why I stay away from the brags section...the site owner wants everyone to join hands and sing Kumbaya all the time, and I find I can do that most effectively in the Garden and Food Forums.

Imo, personal attacks should not be tolerated, but there should also be room for some discussion.

[vesper]

I did not know this stuff could be abused that much. I guess I have a lot to learn. I never brag because no matter how many coupones I use, I tend to save $11 on a $121 purchase. Still makes me happy. But I notice some people can spend $60 or $70 spending the same amount.

Anyhoo, I stlil wish folks were mature to respond kindly. Manners and politeness are very pleasing!

[lecale]

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[i_forget]

I agree with Snow in Summer!! I started to type the same topic last night about this very subject and did not think this week was a good week for me to handle the comments and possible backlash . I have also been reading from other members the same and I admit I am sensitive and the I also was a lurker for for a few years and I believe the first night I was approved to SC, to have a voice I replied to a thread and someone just want off on me and I was in tears (ugly cry tears) and could not believe that I signed up to this type of atmosphere, that was not what I had been reading. Thankfully Jezebel and a few other members friended me and calmed me down and I hung in there and agree that there and so thankful I did. There are ways of saying things and sometimes. I often notice it is the same members that come out kicking and screaming and not to be forgotten is that we are here all still learning and by the comments and explanations help us to do so, that is how we learn. If you type it and read it back to yourself and think as an objective reader -would think be harsh then just highlight and delete and pass thread by.

We all have enough in our daily lives to deal with and for me the forum has helped our home so much, helped somewhat my typing skills, my expressing myself, thinking things through, analitical skills, tips, tricks, making friends, and I admit mis-using coupons sometimes because I am terrible sometimes are the fine print or like the other day posting the cheap oils thread and getting some flack for size and stuff.

Trying to help and understand some corrections needed to be made but a few more nouns and verbs in the replies would have been appreciated. It is discouraging from posting things because then I am uncertain about all the information I sharedd being correct an then being responsible for every reply on that thread and sometimes I would rather just keep it to myself as much as I want to share . Yes I am sensitive and giving and all that muchy stuff but I was under the impression that the forum was a giving, loving hand-holding place to learn from people of the same minds and are here to help one another. I have grown-up a little since January hence OP thread and I have seen a decline in postings and it saddens me because those are successes from fellow members, learning lessons, team encouragement and sincere replies of information that you might not learn from but others might. I know a few times I have typed a few things and deleted them and a few times I left it and regreted it but felt like it had to be said. So I understand but there is a way to write things.

I wonder what all of a sudden to the members think have changed. I used to just look at the home page when I was a lurker so I don't know what it was before January.

Thank you for raising this issue Snow in Summer. It needed to be done.

I highlighted a part of your text because I felt it was important to expand on this.

Now, you stated that you would appreciate a bit more from others to help and understand.

Part of the thing that makes us all wonderful and amazing and unique is how different we are.
We all look different, sound different, have different opinions and have different levels of communication and intelligence.

For you, you ask for people to be more expressive, well some people are simply not able to be more expressive because they have a different manner of expression, communication and intelligence than you do. I personally do not know everyone on the board and how they communicate, so to try to accommodate everyone's style would be impossible.

This is why people really need to learn to relax and not take offence to everything. Take it with a grain of salt and not get offended. Just because the manner that something was delivered to you was not a way you found appropriate, does not mean that the way that they were delivering it was inappropriate.

An attack is an attack, a threat is a threat, but not being all puppy dogs and rainbows in how someone says a comment does not mean that it is rude or negative, it is merely a difference in communication style.

[FallenPixels]

Entered too soon

[coupon girl]

please keep bragging people -I learn a lot of deals from the brags -their is a fine line we walk as couponers I have been doing it for years couponing and never plan to stop

[FallenPixels]

My personal opinion is that if you know that your brag is misuse (zantac threads that start with I know it is one per customer BUT etc) why post it? If you burgled someone would you post it?

While some users complain about negativity, many others have left as they do not want to be associated with the culture of abuse attached to SC. The majority of the 'negativity' is based on abuse - using the wrong coupons or bullying cashiers. But I also think it is important for people to realize that someone politely stating it (and one person, not a whole page but preferably a mod) is not necessarily negative. After I replied in the weed b gon thread, several users PMed me with thanks as they had planned to buy it thinking it was legit. I do think its important to show it is not ok as at least 3 users were going to print the coupon for that deal and none had replied in the thread so the abuse also extends to lurkers. As mentioned above I would rather find out on SC than a cashier loudly telling me it is wrong.

The problem with modding coupon abuse is that we don't know every coupon. There was a brag a while back where several users did attack the person for using a wrong coupon when in fact she had a replacement coupon from the manu. They did not ask just assumed that it was an insert that had come out a few weeks before.

That being said, I will mod to Boos rules, but we do differentiate between actual negativity and attacks and people just commenting. We rarely get brag reports though. We will however also give warnings to those who like to argue with those who are negative - it just encourages them.

[oscarandme]

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[ex0ticb3lla]

and again this is why i never post in the brag section..when I attempted to explain in the weed b gone thread that the coupon was shady (from the actual company) and why even attempt to "sneak" it by a cashier ... it basically was a gong show. I didn't take personal offense to it. I don't know any of you..do i personally care whether you like what I post or not? Heck no.

[Snow In Summer]

I don't know any of you..do i personally care whether you like what I post or not? Heck no.

I just made my point! If you personally don’t care what you post and how it makes others feel in here, then I would recommend that you don’t post at all. To have a Mod actually like this comment is also pretty disturbing.

FOR THE RECORD this thread is NOT about Zantac, Weed-B-Gon, or using Rexall coupons to buy free Lysol at Walmart, buying 250 cases of free Ice tea or buying bladder control Tena’s for free groceries Wal-mart. This thread is about making people more aware that all of the negative comments have to stop as, it does affect others and nobody wants to post their brags anymore because of it.

If you have something to say, say it diplomatically and if you can’t, then don’t say it at all.