daycare problem

i run a home daycare, and i've been having problems with one girl. ( her brother is great) she acts out at least 3 days a week. she has broken a door, pushed a kid down the stairs, hits other kids, take's toys from other kids, breaks stuff when she is upset, and is in general a bully. i have tried talking to her, time outs, taking stuff away ( ex. free play, craft time) her mother told me just to spank her when she's bad ( i wont do that) i even started a reward system, where after so many days of good behaviour children get a toy from the prize box to take home. nothing is working, and i want to terminate care. i have a contract that says two weeks notice, but after hurting 2 kids yesterday i'm done. i did not get a deposit b/c ( this is the hard part) the girl is my sister's kid. i'm suppose to have the kids next week and wanted to write up a letter of termination that says i will provide daycare for the two days she needs me next week but in lieu of notice those days will be free of charge ( i have no other kids those 2 days except my own) what do you think? i can't keep watching her b/c she is putting the safety of others at risk, but i know my family is gonna come down on me like a tonne of bricks. any advice? should i get her to sign the letter? what exactly should i write. really need some advice.

Well, business is business and your family should respect the reasons why you are doing it. The safety of all the kids must come first because it is you that will suffer the repercussions for her actions.
It is really hard dealing with different styles of discipline when doing daycare.
I wonder why she is acting like she is....out of attention maybe?
Not sure if it would help or if you have already done this, but watch her but pretend you are not watching and when she acts out, see what happens before she does it. Some kids act like bullies because theyare looking for attention and do not know how to ask for it in a positive way.
It would be perfectly reasonable for her to be doing this because she is upset and wants her moms attention but cannot have it so she wants it from you but is not getting as much as she wants because you are busy with everyone.

Trying to figure out why she is doing it before the discipline aspect may help in solving the problem so you do not have to terminate care.

Good luck.

I think you should explain similarly to how you explained to us. Put in the dates and incidents , and explain that for the safety of other children you cannot keep watching her . Something along those lines. And I guess the free days in lieu of a delay is a good idea .

If you do decide to do free days in lieu of the 2 week notice, definitely get her to sign it. Otherwise she can go back and say you wrongfully terminated care and could try suing you for the cost of alternative care she has to get.

i did give her the letter but she didn't sign it. i do have a copy that i have put in her file. she was very mad when i told her. she wanted me to drop all my other kids and just keep her's. And my family took a different approach to the whole situation. They have cut me off. No one is willing to speak to me anymore. I truly believe that this is between her and I so I refuse to give them all my info/reasons for doing what I did, which I'm sure is not the reasons she told them. Oh well, it over and there's nothing i can do about my family. They are who they are. Thanks for all the info everyone. :

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Originally Posted by jayne_a

And my family took a different approach to the whole situation. They have cut me off. No one is willing to speak to me anymore.

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Hoping this will not be a permanent outcome. Hoping that at least a few will come around in the next little while. Your conscience is clear because you have tried solutions and are also concerned about the physical safety of all the other children in your care.


Here's hoping for a positive outcome with respect to family relationships, before the end of 2013

(((hugs)))

tough situation to begin with; even tougher when it involves family because everything is that much more sensitive.

I don't have advice for the family part of it--but if you wanted to get to the root of the problem that is causing the child to behave in that manner, I highly recommend reading the book "The Explosive Child" by Dr. Ross Greene. I had to read it for work but to be honest, it also helped me approach my own kids' issues in a much more positive and constructive manner...and my kids aren't even "explosive." LOL. It's such a fantastic book that I recommend it to any parent I meet and with you running a daycare, it's bound to be something that will help you (and the child) the next time you get a kid that explodes all over the place like that.

Good luck!