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Thread: Leaving your child to have a tantrum..on the mall floor

  1. #1
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    Hey,

    This might come off sounding judgmental or overly critical really not intending for it to sound that way..just apologizing a head of time in case somebody takes it the wrong way.

    Today i went shopping in a pretty busy mall in my city and as we were walking around on the second floor of this mall we noticed a women and her two children.Her son must of been about 2-3 years old and he was very upset about something and having a bit of a melt down.. which is fine kids do that does not matter if there in public or not when there in melt down mode it does not matter who is around lol.

    Anyways she walks off! leaving the child laying on the floor having a tantrum maybe she assumed that he would of seen her walking around and got up and followed behind.But he did not he continued to lay there and cry (powerful little lungs he had) so my husband and i stopped and watched to see if she would stop and look and realize he was not actually with her but we actually lost sight of her after 2-3 minutes because at least 20-30 people were walking behind her like i said quite a busy mall so lots of people.

    This just bugs me! not trying to judge her we all parent different etc i am not a parent but i cant see myself leaving my 2-3 year on the floor and just walking away out of sight where i cant even see my child if i did turn around to look because of the amount of people coming behind me..you dont know who is in the mall or around who could be aware of the fact that theres no parent around and this 2-3 year old is on there own pretty much..and pick that kid up and walk off with them..

    So please! do not leave your child laying on the floor and walk off without them..to many things can go wrong there is some not very nice people out there and it does not take long for a child to go missing.
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    my son when he was little like 2 (he is now 28) use to have meltdowns anywhere -he had one heck of a temper-well we would pick him up and haul him off to the car(or home)-nobody needs to hear that in a mall -let alone leave them there and walk off -unreal
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    Canadian Genius xox2010's Avatar
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    I'm not a parent, but my mom used to remove us from the mall or store or wherever and bring us outside to the car. I don't understand why people don't just leave the store or the mall etc when their kid is screaming and crying. Your mascara purchase can wait.
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    Smart Canuck Jina's Avatar
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    I'm used to tantrums in public places. DH just grabs DS and we go to the car or somewhere less busy to try to calm him down.
    We do pretend we are walking away sometimes but only if it's not too busy and I have visual contact. I never had to go more than a few metres for him to run to us. I never leave him out of sight. I'm too scared he will get lost or someone will kidnap him. I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt if that happened.

    It bugs me too when parents leave their young kids unattended. Best I can do is keep an eye on them if I can.

    Whenever we have a family gathering somewhere, SIL would leave her 3 kids all by themselves (all under 5). Once my 3yr old niece went to the men's toilet without them noticing and our table was the furthest away from the washrooms, along the way was the exit/entrance door. Luckily I saw her going there and alerted SIL. BIL went to grab her and they went back to eating/chatting and not caring where their kids were going
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    Smart Canuck dariusz8's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xox2010 View Post
    I'm not a parent, but my mom used to remove us from the mall or store or wherever and bring us outside to the car. I don't understand why people don't just leave the store or the mall etc when their kid is screaming and crying. Your mascara purchase can wait.
    I have done this with my kids... being kicked and punched at all the way to the car :| what an embaresment. Just for not buying a toy. Then some wacked lady has the nerve to ask whats going on.... as if your doing something wrong.... Told the lady where to go nicely and told here if she'd like to see the child stop crying I can take her in and she can make a purchase for my child herself. She left rather quickly there after.

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    Smart Canuck dariusz8's Avatar
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    not to sure what her reasoning for this was but could very well be that she is experimenting with methods to try to deal with the tantrums, I know as a parent how difficult and embarrassing they are.
    Quote Originally Posted by MakaylaGreen View Post
    Hey,

    This might come off sounding judgmental or overly critical really not intending for it to sound that way..just apologizing a head of time in case somebody takes it the wrong way.

    Today i went shopping in a pretty busy mall in my city and as we were walking around on the second floor of this mall we noticed a women and her two children.Her son must of been about 2-3 years old and he was very upset about something and having a bit of a melt down.. which is fine kids do that does not matter if there in public or not when there in melt down mode it does not matter who is around lol.

    Anyways she walks off! leaving the child laying on the floor having a tantrum maybe she assumed that he would of seen her walking around and got up and followed behind.But he did not he continued to lay there and cry (powerful little lungs he had) so my husband and i stopped and watched to see if she would stop and look and realize he was not actually with her but we actually lost sight of her after 2-3 minutes because at least 20-30 people were walking behind her like i said quite a busy mall so lots of people.

    This just bugs me! not trying to judge her we all parent different etc i am not a parent but i cant see myself leaving my 2-3 year on the floor and just walking away out of sight where i cant even see my child if i did turn around to look because of the amount of people coming behind me..you dont know who is in the mall or around who could be aware of the fact that theres no parent around and this 2-3 year old is on there own pretty much..and pick that kid up and walk off with them..

    So please! do not leave your child laying on the floor and walk off without them..to many things can go wrong there is some not very nice people out there and it does not take long for a child to go missing.

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    This brings up something that happened just last night..
    DS and I went to Centre Island yesterday (with a group), so DH had to pick up DD from daycare. I called him from the bus and he said he'd meet us at McDonald's, cause DD was hungry (and DS and I were, too).
    While ordering, DD and DS are playing (as kids will do), and hugging, kissing each other, etc. And, yes, they were being a tiny bit loud, but they love each other, and hadn't seen each other all day (plus DS had been on a school bus for over an hour, he had energy to burn).
    2 ladies near the play area piped up and said something about how I should be considerate and take my kids home and let them scream like that, blah blah blah.
    Now, I'm not one to do this, but..I turned around and said, "Mind your business and watch your own kids. I'll take care of mine."
    And DH got mad at me.

    Now, I would never leave me kids screaming in the middle of the mall, but if they were throwing a tantrum, and I needed to get something done (which happens), then I would just..ignore it, if need be. Rarely would that happen, though, I can't stand my kids upset, so I try to distract them.
    But, like last night, we needed food (close to bed time), and we were in a KID FRIENDLY restaurant. Now, I could understand if it was a classy place, but.....no.

    Sorry that was kinda long.

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    That's just not appropriate.

    Funny, my grown son just mentioned to me last week that he remembers me just leaving a cart of groceries in Safeway just so I could take him out.... he wasn't prone to tantrums, thank goodness, but the occasional misbehaviour...
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    Quote Originally Posted by xox2010 View Post
    I'm not a parent, but my mom used to remove us from the mall or store or wherever and bring us outside to the car. I don't understand why people don't just leave the store or the mall etc when their kid is screaming and crying. Your mascara purchase can wait.

    not everyone has car. We dont have a car and to go out for groceries or diapers or whatever is an hour walk each way. Personally I dont buy or wear makeup (but even i i did I would not be going for a 2 hour walk for 1 trivial item) there is no way in hell i will go for a 2 hour walk and come home empty handed. my kids have a tantrum they have to cry it out in the stroller while we get groceries or whatever. (we do try to calm them down first but there is still only so much a parent can do). and while we are lucky enough to have 2 healthy kids there are kids with disabilities that can cause more tantrums/noise... I dont think they should have to be locked in the house 24/7 or have to leave every time their kid starts acting up. i doubt someone with a special needs child has time to attempt to make several attempts to buy anything. and no they shouldn't have to leave their kids at home as they are people not prisoners.
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    I heart DH and DS francine1985's Avatar
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    op that is sick. i would be tempted to send someone to get mall security. (while i would love to take the child to security myself I would be afraid to be accused of kidnapping. much safer to get security first.)
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    Canadian Genius xox2010's Avatar
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    The mascara comment comes from a time when a mother was in the store (where I worked at the time) at like 9 PM at night. Clearly, the kid should have been in bed at that time (she was exhausted) but apparently she desperately needed mascara and Canada day gear.
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    I heart DH and DS francine1985's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xox2010 View Post
    The mascara comment comes from a time when a mother was in the store (where I worked at the time) at like 9 PM at night. Clearly, the kid should have been in bed at that time (she was exhausted) but apparently she desperately needed mascara and Canada day gear.
    i definitely agree with this comment. i can see maybe needing milk formula diapers... but mascara and canada day supplies should be able to wait. taking a child out or a late night pickup past bedtime should only happen for immediate necessities.
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    Canadian Genius xox2010's Avatar
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    I can understand where you're coming from Francine (having to walk to the store and back) so I can see why you would continue to shop and I don't blame you one bit. Acceptance and understanding go a long way, parenting is no easy job, and I have had to learn to be more understanding.
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    Walking away can be a very effective way of dealing with a tantrum. But safety has to come first!
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    I disagree that walikng away is an effective way of dealing with tantrums. A child realizes that he (she) has a problem at that moment (e.g., mom doesn't buy the item he (she) wants), but he is not strong enough to deal with that and makes tantrums to pay attention to his (her) problem. Mom's (or dad's) responsibility is to help him (her) and not to go away. Mom has to be with her child, to try to calm him (her) down, or to pay his (her) attention to other things, or just to take him (her) away from the place where he (she) has a tantrum and try to calm him (her) down outside of the mall (or store, or somebody's house).

    If mom walks away from her child who has a tantrum, that way she teaches her child (spontaneously, even not thinking about that) to simply walk away from the problem and not to face that. Parents are the first and most respectful examples for their children. You have to face the problem if you want to solve that. That will be good not only for you, but also for your child in the future.
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