How do you manage your finances with a partner?

[kris10]

How do you manage your finances once you form a partnership? Either marriage or as many people do nowadays just living common law? Just curious and really want to hear how others make it work for them.

Do you just share the same bank account? Does anybody do it differently?

I wouldn't know how to make it all work. I've saved up some money and I would never want to offend anyone (maybe I just have trust issues in general) I don't know if I could trust even a partner with it... especially if they were bad with their finances.

[brunt]

My personal feeling is if you can't trust your partner with finances, that you shouldn't be together. This is a deal breaker for me.

We are 100% joint. Even before we were married, I gave my wife (then girlfriend) a credit card on my account. I made it clear that it was for emergency use only, as I couldn't have afforded frivolous expenses at the time (I was a student putting myself through university at the time). She never charged a single item - in hindsight, it was a great test, although I didn't intend it to be one.

[coupon girl]

that's so true(brunt) if you cant trust your partner with money you should not be together-hubby and I have a joint account-have had it for 34 years of marriage-I make a lot less and now I am not working -so it doesn't matter we both are savers( trying to pay down mortgage)kids are gone now have a new granddaughter ( I could easily say its hard not to spend on her -but we would love our son to open bank account for her

[Natalka]

We're married, and have always had joint everything. Everything goes into one pot, all expenses get paid out of that.
To me, that's really the only way that makes sense - you are sharing everything else in your life!

We've been through different circumstances through the years - me earning more, him earning more, unemployment, health problems, etc. - it all balances out!

[lizzie bargain]

I agree with the others-all finances are joint in our marriage. If we can't trust each other with that we shouldn't be together. I do know others who keep it separate for various reasons like one is a poor saver, differing incomes, habit etc. However it is important to know that Rev Canada treats you as a common law couple after 12 months of a continuous conjugal relationship or having a child together. Most provinces( check yours) split property or assets acquired during the relationship regardless of whose name they are in, in the event of a relationship breakdown. As well check with any private pensions and CPP to see what rights your partner would have to your pensions and vice versa, common law or married. I recently started to collect my private pension which automatically included my "pension partner" unless he signed his rights away in front of a notary without me present!! Of course we wanted a joint pension but all the legal ramifications of partners finances are very serious stuff to be understood by both partners. As well once we married in Alberta, even though the house was in my name prior to the marriage, my husband immediately acquired dower rights to it-even though it is still in my name I would not be able to sell it without his signature. We left it in my name as we didn't want to pay the silly govt land transfer tax to transfer half of it to him. In my personal experience and observing others it can take a lot of time and energy when finances are kept separate and keeping track of who paid for what etc. One also has to consider who is the beneficiary of any life insurance policies at work etc especially when you have children to support and how each persons benefit plan defines family. One also has to consider wills and in the absence of a will how your assets would be legally dispersed in your province. I guess in a nutshell what I am trying to say is even if you keep your finances separate, down the road of life should you separate, divorce, have children, collect pensions or die other laws and regulations may supercede your wish to have separate finances! I currently have a friend going through a common law separation and even though her partner- the primary wage earner went to great lengths to keep his finances separate, in the end as this goes through court I think they will share the assets that were acquired during the relationship equally. It is important to know the laws that pertain to your province.

[kmiecp]

I disagree with the above comments in terms of sharing everything. It is always a good idea to have individual credit (to keep your ratings high) and to have individual savings (in case the relationship ends or one partner has to leave--especially for women). I have seen too many women shared everything with a husband and then get screwed when they split up.

My husband and I have one shared account (for expenses: housing/transportation/bills/groceries) and we have one shared credit card. In addition to that we each have a long-term savings account and short-term savings account (which allow us to each max out TFSA/investments), a chequing (we call "spending") account, and a individual credit card.

We have a "Money Meeting" once a month where we go over the past month's spending and the upcoming month's spending. We sit down and look at our own statements and discuss any issues. We also divide our income equally (we both have fluctuating incomes) - we each put 50% of each paycheque to expenses; 35% to savings; 15% for individual or shared spending.

It works. We both like feeling that we are in control of our own money. As a woman, I like knowing that I have savings should anything unexpected happen. and If you have regular conversations, there is no lack of trust or knowledge.

[marmaduke]

It's one thing to trust our partner and another to have different financial styles. Each person should have money they can spend exactly as they wish and sometimes that does not happen when all the accounts are joint.
Having your own money and contributing to a joint account (for joint expenses, savings) works better for some.

[kris10]

Well I guess i forgot to add that point, I was once with someone who had horrible bad spending habits, another reason i wouldn't EVER want to do that. Interesting so far =)

[bargain_hunter_lola]

I think it depends on the person.

DH and I have everything joint and have had since we got engaged. Its easy and straight forward that way.

There were times I made more but now that I'm a SAHM, he's the sole earner. Everything is ours, not his or mine. It all works out.

Personally I'd be offended and worried if my significant other felt they needed separate/private accounts, but that's just me. To each their own really. Whatever works for you is how to go.

[MrsSunshine]

I agree with both points of view.
Its important for both members of the union to have their own credit.. JIC something happens to either one.
a friend of the families spouse died, she had NO credit in her name at all, no bills nothing.. it was horrible.

Most of the bills are in my name for that reason. My dh takes care of all the bills. (I did at one point in time, not a good thing).
He took over.. best decision we made.
Our accounts are joint.
regardless.. trust is not an option.

[Angela273]

Someone else posted a similar question on SC, but I can't find it right now.

Dh and I have been together for 11yrs. We do not have any joint accounts. My income fluctuates a great amount right now because I am a substitute teachers and just came back after maternity leave. I get paid in November for any days that I teach in October, whereas dh gets paid weekly. We split the monthly expenses and each have our own bills that we pay each month. For example dh pays for the following: bi-weekly mortgage, SaskPower, SaskEnergy, Sasktel for the house, city water and garbage, property taxes, his cell phone, his truck's maintenance, diesel, insurance, and plates. I pay for LO's daycare, my student loan payments, my cell phone bill, most of the groceries, house insurance, my own truck's maintenance, gas, insurance, and plates. If an un-expected expense comes up, then we talk about it and take the funds where needed. We both have savings and investments. My student loan is at a higher interest rate than our mortgage, so we easily agreed that extra money should be paid onto my student loan. When I was working full-time...before I had LO, I was able to do triple payments onto my student loan some months.

We have found that this works quite well for us. I am a saver, dh is somewhat of a saver too. He has a better grasp on some more complicated matters when it comes to finances. It makes sense that I do the grocery shopping because I coupon, check fliers for sales, and am in charge of the stock-pile. LO's diapers and wipes are included in this category.

It can be beneficial to have separate accounts in case of the sudden and unexpected death of a spouse. It can take a very long time to sort things out at the bank, or with insurance, etc.

[lizzie bargain]

http://forum.smartcanucks.ca/330797-...-house-canada/OP-I think this is the link that Angela was looking for. As you can see people vary greatly on what they have found to work best for them. Probably just like splitting up the chores between partners, it varies from couple to couple. Lots of good points in all of the posts.

[Retiree]

For 42 years my husband and I have had joint bank accounts, both checking and savings. We have joint investments and separate RRSPs and TFSAs. We also both have a credit card in our own name so that we can each build/maintain our own credit rating.

Sharing a bank account with someone really depends, I think, on whether or not you have similar values when it comes to handling finances. If you don't, you are probably better off having your bank account.

If you have a joint bank account and one of you passes, it isn't really a problem because the surviving partner has right of survivorship, as I understand it. The same thing happens with joint investments.

When it comes to paying expenses, I've always felt that the best thing is to find a way to divide the expenses up equitably, i.e. if incomes are 50/50 then divide up the expenses 50/50. If incomes are 60/40, then divide up the expenses 60/40....well you get the picture.

Perhaps the most important approach in financial matters is sit down and talk about it and don't assume anything about your partner's approach to handling finances. Finding out whether or not you are both singing from the same song sheet will help you find the right approach for you.

[linnyeg]

We each put 80% of our income into the joint account from which everything that applies to both of us, the house & the kids gets paid. We keep the other 20% for ourselves, we each have personal savings as well as joint savings. Our credit cards are in our own names because we came into the relationship with them already.

We're not sure how we're going to change things in the near future though, my mat leave is running out and I'm extending my leave for an additional 10 mos unpaid. I have enough savings that I'll probably be ok with my own personal savings and I know if I needed something it wouldnt be an issue, just not sure how we'll re-evaluate until we really have to.

[MathTeacher]

We used to put 50% of what we earned in our joint account - both me and my girlfriend. If we had not spent everything - on everyday expenses/bills I would transfer the balance to a joint saving account at the end of the month. When we have split we divided that saving account. She took half. I took half. And we were even.
That was when I was young.

Now I am married. Have Kids. More on the way. We have one joint account everything goes there. And everything is paid from there. With kids I can't imagine doing it differently. Family is almost like a legal entity for me. All members are responsible for what happens inside.