for parents OF ADHD/ODD KIDS

[jenna321]

I don't know is I have the strength to do the form , I start a 4 month program on Monday @ the hospital will see how i feel

[ljclo]

Guys, thanks for sharing this information. Can you tell someone who is unaware of symptoms etc, when you started noticing this agressive/stubborn behaviour (for those that have this). My situation is that my 3 year old (his 3rd birthday is tomorrow) has extraordinary mood swings and will fly off the handle at nothing (screaming, pounding the walls, kicking, hitting, spitting, biting, repeating "no" like a hundred times). I know he is 3 and it is a rough time, but his behaviour really seems over the top. I am wondering if there is something more wrong than just being 3.

Laura

[christine17]

I hope your program goes well Jenna321. Remember you're not alone us other screwed up SC's are there for you. Depression is not an uncommom thing for parents with children with this. Our bodies are only programmed to take so much then eentually something lets go. Just remember that right now the important thing is to focus on you, you've probably never done this your whole life as a Mom since we give our all to these kids, but remember these kids always need us and you're not just getting better for you but for her as well.

[christine17]

Guys, thanks for sharing this information. Can you tell someone who is unaware of symptoms etc, when you started noticing this agressive/stubborn behaviour (for those that have this). My situation is that my 3 year old (his 3rd birthday is tomorrow) has extraordinary mood swings and will fly off the handle at nothing (screaming, pounding the walls, kicking, hitting, spitting, biting, repeating "no" like a hundred times). I know he is 3 and it is a rough time, but his behaviour really seems over the top. I am wondering if there is something more wrong than just being 3.

Laura

Sounds to me that you'll be joining the club. Bring it to the attention of your family physician and have him refer you to behaviour specialists at your local children's hospital.(Sometimes you have to demand the help) The sooner you have a diagnosis if this is what he has the better for you to try to tone down the behaviours.

[seekthetruth]

Laura my son doesnt have adhd but I definetly think he has ODD. He was alot like that at three. I found redirecting him to do wonders. Like for instance if he wanted to play with something dangerous, or go somewhere he shouldnt etc, finding a toy or something else to redirect his attention. This kid could throw a tantrum for 8 straight hours till he fell asleep.
He loved the batman cartoon and we had just gotten a phone and he had a four hour fit to call batman. I told him we couldnt. He was 3 and didnt get why not. So at my wits end I called the local bank number that would give the time and weather info and told him that if it told him the time it was a code meaning batman was okay. This soothed him and we had to call the number 15 times a day.
Last year, he was walked out in front of a car crossing the road at school. Thank God he was only bruised and banged up but he could have been killed. The woman just left the scene cause he told her to go he was okay. His only thought was his dad and I would be pissed cause he missed the bus. I was horrified and so strung out till he got home.
I really wish I could have him diagnosed with some type of disorder that there are meds for. I wouldnt have to be so dang nervous all the time.
Sorry ot just come in on your thread. But I know I had to learn how to deal with him as a toddler and was hoping for some help with him now. I am gonna look into the parenting books again. I need a refresher course.

[NSangel]

seek, are you POSITIVE he doesn't have adhd? Odd is defiant disorder, but he sounds like he gets overfocused on things and other thigns, like walking infront of vehicles..?

jenn: don't worry about the form right now. take care of yourself. we'll be here to support you and when ur ready to do the form, i'll walk you thru it if you need me. but it is very easy to do. just appears overwhelming.

ljclo: you heard of the terrible 2's and 3's right? well, it's almost impossible to diagnose an ADHD kid at this age because of it. Most kids do throw tempertantrums and can't accept no at this stage. Most kids are diagnosed when they hit the school years, because by at least grade 1 they should have settled down. (primary is just to get them used to school..). Your child's teacher<s> can be instrumental in picking pu the behaviour (little johnny just won't sit still! little sally talks and interrrupts class! timmy punched matt for no reason!).

another thing to mention to with ADHD. you should notice the behaviours everywhere, not just in certain situtations. that's one of the key criteria. if he's doing well at home, and with his friends, but having probs at school, it's probably a school issue..not being challenged, or hates his teacher etc.

seek: how old is he now?

[seekthetruth]

It's getting a little harder cause he thinks he is grown at 16. I am gonna start working on getting him into see a doctor to try and diagnose his problem after his summer job is over. He needs the daily structure and routine thing. When he was four I started making him sweep the floor just so I could get a little relaxation. I did try to have him diagnosed before. They said he was just being a boy. Well I got two of them and the other one is so much calmer. Right now tho I do kinda feel on a verge of a nervous breakdown and just taking the step by step approach.

[smb127]

oh big thing with these kids, but u guys probably already know..is that activity helps. now ryan whose very uncoordinated does really well in taekwondo. he does very poorly in bowling and other competitive sports. another thing: cubs/scouts was too unstructured, but i put him in navy leagues (cadets) and he's doing amazing.

I feel for all of you dealing with this problem.

Just wanted to add a comment on cubs/scouts. I was a leader for 4 yrs and we had at least 6 kids that we knew of with ADHD/ADD and more that the parents didn't let us know about. I was asked not to come back as a leader because I was to strick with the kids, I would move them and make the sit/stand striaght and tell them to be quite, but the parents didn't like that. I know it was one parent because I didn't let her kid get away with anything. He was rude and defient, maybe he had ODD too, I don't know, but I would make him wait his turn and say please and thank you. I could see it in her face that she hated me doing that.

I reliaze that these kids have problems, but I tried to treat all the kids the same way, if anything I was harder on my kids than anyone elses because they knew my rules.

So now I can't wait for next year, so that I can see the new leaders handle these kids.

That's all, just wanted to put my 2 cents in even though I don't kids with ADHA/ADD/ODD.

[jenna321]

I agree with you Sue, you have to be firm and have strict rules and stick to them with all children! We used a reward system when my daughter was younger. It's challenging and very rewarding raising a child/children with these brain disorders in reality they are just different from others kids. It requires an awful lot of patience and caring and most of all support from many others.
It takes a villages to raise children how true! To the others here with the issues are your kids extremely bright and artsy?

[seekthetruth]

Jake completed the 9th and tenth grade in 8 weeks. He is very intelligent. Which sometimes makes the situation harder lol.

[jenna321]

Omfg, wow that's incredible! Does he get bored easily?

[ljclo]

Sounds to me that you'll be joining the club. Bring it to the attention of your family physician and have him refer you to behaviour specialists at your local children's hospital.(Sometimes you have to demand the help) The sooner you have a diagnosis if this is what he has the better for you to try to tone down the behaviours.

Christine, do you know of any good doctors in Ottawa for this, I am local as well. I am hoping more than anything it is just a terrible 2/3 stage, but I want to be informed and prepared if there is something more going on with him.

Thanks

Laura

[NSangel]

I feel for all of you dealing with this problem.

Just wanted to add a comment on cubs/scouts. I was a leader for 4 yrs and we had at least 6 kids that we knew of with ADHD/ADD and more that the parents didn't let us know about. I was asked not to come back as a leader because I was to strick with the kids, I would move them and make the sit/stand striaght and tell them to be quite, but the parents didn't like that. I know it was one parent because I didn't let her kid get away with anything. He was rude and defient, maybe he had ODD too, I don't know, but I would make him wait his turn and say please and thank you. I could see it in her face that she hated me doing that.

I reliaze that these kids have problems, but I tried to treat all the kids the same way, if anything I was harder on my kids than anyone elses because they knew my rules.

So now I can't wait for next year, so that I can see the new leaders handle these kids.

That's all, just wanted to put my 2 cents in even though I don't kids with ADHA/ADD/ODD.

actually ADHD/ODD kids you have to be even stricter with. if there's a rule, it's THE RULE and doesn't change. ya can't bend them. so your way was the proper way of dealing with them.

so often because they're like this i see parents and cub leaders, just "ignore it" but ya can't ignore it. it gets worse!

[NSangel]

i've been told mine is 'BRIGHT" but don't they say that about all the kids? i mean, is a teacher really gonna say, oh your child is so DUMB AS A POST!

i don't see where he's any smarter than otherkids. academically he is behind. he has some mechanical smarts, can figure out how things work. he's been around alot of old ppl, so he talks BIG. "i would prefer not too" i think he said one time, and i was like..HUH?

so today, i walked into his room to drop off books

the room that was STRIPPED REMEMBER? all allowed in it was bed, clothes, and now books to help him go to sleep.

HE'S BENDING THE COAT HANGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

someone..killme..killme NOW.

[NSangel]

Ljclo: get the program majic 1.2.3 it worked wonders for ryan at that stage. works for all kids. it's simple very effective. but don't use it past schoolage, because then they need to learn first time compliance.

effective use of timeouts should stop some of the tempertantrums and get his attention. goodluck!