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Thread: Soooo done.

  1. #1
    OgresWife
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    Since January 12th, I have dealt with:
    turning 30 (very emotional for me)
    my brother attempting to kill himself
    my brother being in the psych ward for a week due to his attempt
    my 21 year old sister getting pregnant (when I've been off BC for almost 5 years)
    the baby daddy up and leaving because my sister is "an idiot for not getting rid of it"
    my job is stressing me out because I'm seen as a threat from a few people because I'm better at their job (this is not me saying I'm better)
    DH is being less than helpful at home, doing no laundry, no dishes, little cooking and little cleaning
    my stepsons mom hitting us up for almost $900 next month for stepsons private school (that he legitimately needs) and half of his registration for his summer camp (which he loves!)
    my hours at work are only about 20 or so hours a week and while husband is full time, what I can't cover for my share of the household bills he has to, so money is getting tight.
    Spent two weeks battling with cable company over my wireless TV

    The final straw was today. My washer decided to up and die. Dad was in and while we know what the issue is, it needs a professional ($) or we need a new washer ($$)

    I'm so very much at the end of my rope right now. Money is sooo tight and I just want some small thing thats just for me, even if its just a book.

    Stressed out is not even close to the phrase I'm feeling.
    This thread is currently associated with: N/A
    ticul, torontogal12 and sam786 like this.


  2. #2
    Smart Canuck
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    awww ((((((((Hugs)))))))))) Hun. God will see you through in times like this. Believe hun. God Bless.
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  3. #3
    Mastermind Natalka's Avatar
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    Wow, that is a lot going on.

    I know you didn't ask for advice, but I'm going to give some - fix your relationship with your husband, that comes first.

    It will help you deal with everything else so much more easily; it's not helping you now to feel so resentful towards him - he should be the soft place for you to fall. Talk with him, seriously. (and not only about him helping out at home, that's not the real issue...)
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    CaNewbie
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    A lot of things happen beyond our control, Hun. Life likes to throw us curveballs, but we all manage to pull through either way. Prioritize the best you can to make things less overwhelming, things will work out.

  5. #5
    Axiomatic Canuck Tbites's Avatar
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    Sometimes.... life throws you pile of sh*t JUST so you can truly be ready to appreciate the good stuff when it finally shows up, Have a nap, Have a warm bath with ice cream but just Hang in there

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    Mastermind Shwa Girl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OgresWife View Post
    turning 30 (very emotional for me)
    my 21 year old sister getting pregnant (when I've been off BC for almost 5 years)
    my job is stressing me out because I'm seen as a threat from a few people because I'm better at their job (this is not me saying I'm better)
    Sorry to hear this.
    There are three positives in your thread.
    1. You are 30. Awesome! You are so much wiser than when you were 3, 13 or even 23. Awesome. Wicked awesome. I can't wait to see how you have blossomed when you become 3 x 30. Wow. Ogres wife at 90. Oh the tales you will be able to tell.
    2. You are a new Aunt. Maybe your sister will let you have a big part in this baby's life. How great it s that this baby has you in his/her life.
    3. You are good at your job. Ignore the haters. Stick with those who see your value. Been there. It gets better, especially when the employer has an emergency -- they go right to the one who can solve the problem. That's you! Yahoo!
    Win-win-win.

    (((hugs)))
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  7. #7
    Smart Canuck
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    Not going to go into a huge speech here but I understand everything you're feeling right now(been through all of it) and get how frustrating these things can be.
    Try local classifieds for a used washing machine to get you through until you can afford to replace yours, you'd be amazed at how many people just give them away.
    Even though you said money's really tight I think you need to take 5 or 10 bucks and get yourself a little something like a cheap book, nail polish, lipstick(pm me and I'll send you some make up coupons I won't use if you want)magazine cheap shirt or just go to a coffee shop and get a coffee and a treat and relax for a bit. Just a little something to pick you up.
    This is only temporary and things WILL get better.
    Hang in there!
    Natalka, Ciel, emg and 3 others like this.

  8. #8
    Mastermind bargain_hunter_lola's Avatar
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    Sorry you're going through such a hard time. As others have said it will pass.

    The beginning of this year was awful for me. I went through something that truly devastated me and kept getting bad news that seemed to compile into one big mess of devastation.

    I'm still struggling on a daily basis but I always try to stay positive and be thankful for all that I DO have (hard at times I know).

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  9. #9
    Canadian Genius Insane's Avatar
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    When things are really rough, I try to think in terms of "5 years". 5 years from now will this matter? 5 years ago what was I stressing about? (did it really matter? I came through that with flying colours, so I'll get through this). It sucks in the moment but 5 years from now you'll be super proud of having gotten through this time and will be better off for it.
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  10. #10
    Dancing bean paste bun Ciel's Avatar
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    OP, life is certainly raining situations on you and yours. Time to get some boundaries/recovery for yourself. That me time has to come for you this week, so as to give you hope that each situation can be faced a little at a time.

    The person who walked out on sister is the idiot.
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  11. #11
    Smart Canuck
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    Orgreswife, you have lots of people care about you and they all give you some great advice. For me I always think

    THIS TOO SHALL PAST and it always past. Hang in there anf hugs for you.................
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  12. #12
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    Hugs from me too. I hope the dark cloud moves out faster. Sometimes when money is tight I just take a vacation at home. A nice bath and some me time to disconnect and do nothing.
    Thinking of opening an ING account use this number 35728975S1 and both of us get a $50!! dollar bonus.

  13. #13
    Canadian Guru
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    So sorry about all this. It is a lot to handle all at once.

    Re: your sister, there is a silver lining. My friend also got pregnant around 21 and the dirtbag up and left her all alone. Today, she has a wonderful 12 year old boy who we all adore.

    When he was still a baby, my friend met a wonderful man who loves her son as his own and has adopted him.

    Times seem bleak but things will work out even if you don't expect them to. Whether your sister grows into a strong single mom, her BF changes heart, or she meets a new man that treats her child like his own, your sister's life will still be richer with a child of her own even if her journey is difficult along the way.
    Last edited by torontogal12; Sun, Apr 13th, 2014 at 09:47 PM.
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  14. #14
    Smart Canuck Minou's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry that you're having difficulty with having a baby -- I know that's hard, and that it's frustrating, month after month, not to have one when your 21-year-old sister (and the jerk of a boyfriend), who really shouldn't have any business reproducing at the point they're at, are having one, and your stepson's mother is asking for more money to support his activities, and you're wanting financial security but having hours cut back and being faced with a major expense. It probably feels like you're supposed to be there for everyone else, but want something for yourself. You're probably feeling upset about turning 30 because you had a timeline in place mentally when you thought you'd have a family, and the financial situation is probably making it hard to pursue anything medically.

    I'm so sorry. It sounds like you're a great person who is supportive of her family, and it's wonderful that you see the merit in the expensive activities that you're paying for to help your stepson, even though they're eating away at your household budget.

    I think that the best thing to do would be to put on some makeup and lingerie for a warm and loving sneak attack on DH. Men tend to be friendlier and to help out more if they're feeling really, really, loved. You need to feel bonded to your DH in these stressful times.

    Hope you have your own baby surprise soon. ;-)
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  15. #15
    OgresWife
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    Thank you all for your support. I needed to get it all out and I couldn't on most of my other mediums of venting since we're keeping things with my brother pretty quiet right now while hes dealing with his depression and getting things under control.

    To reply to some of your posts, both my adult siblings are living with my parents, which turns out to be better for them given the circumstances they find themselves in. We are all within 10 minute of each other though.

    I layed it all out for DH yesterday and told him I can't do this all by myself anymore and he needs to step up. Funnily enough though, we ordered some.....grown up things last week and they should arrive today so we have a date tonight

    My mom went through what my sister is growing through. When she told my bio dad about me he told her he wanted nothing to do with me and walked. I was born in Jan, and my parents met that Sept and hes my dad and has been since he met me. Mom says my first word was Daddy and came about 2 weeks after I met him.

    Theres a second had appliance shop just down the road I'm popping into today to see whats about. We can hpefully get it Thursday. DH has plans to ask his parents to loan us the funds for stepson and he can pay them back when his bonus comes in July. They just sold their house so they're likely to be able to help.

    Work will change. We're coming into a huge tourist season and I'll be running around to different departments all summer long so hours will pick up, and we have a new manager coming down soon and if its the one we're pretty sure is coming, shes already offered to take me up to her store for hours (swing by and pick me up on her way!) and knows the deal and knows how I work. Time will tell there though.

    I just really wanted to get my mom this dish set we found at Walmart last time we were there. Its orange and shes been helping me outfit my kitchen in red so I wanted to try and help her continue hers in her favorite color. but, thats $25 that needs to go elsewhere I suppose.

    Thank you all again. Things are just really rough right now. Someday maybe soon something will go right.
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