Starting baby on a routine?

Hi! I have 5 and 7 year old boys, and a beautiful 3 week old baby boy. I would like to start the baby on a bit of a routine, although I totally understand it needs to be flexible at this age. I honestly do not remember what I did with my first two kids :P So far I have been trying to wake him at 7 am to feed, then he sleeps until around 9 am, takes another bottle and goes down for a nap until 12 or 12:30. After that, I pretty much just follow his cues but try to wake him every 3 hours (he usually doesn't sleep that long). But I have some questions....

1. Should I put him to bed at the same time every night? Does this help even if he doesn't go to sleep and starts to cry right away?
2. What do I do if the routine gets messed up? My mother-in-law lives right next door and sometimes she takes him at night. I am so grateful for this but she doesn't follow the routine....it's not often, but what do I do in that case, just keep to it the rest of the day?

Thanks for the help! There's so much space between this guy and the older two that sometimes I feel like I'm dealing with my first child all over again lol!

imo there is no point in having a set routine or bed time for a 3 week old. they basically just sleep and wake up to eat and get changed every 2-3 hours. I would suggest waiting a few months until he sleeps for longer stretches, has fewer naps, and is more alert. that's what I did with both of mine.

At 3 weeks, he's too young for a routine.

When we had DS we just automatically kept him on the same routine as DD. They both went to bed between 6:30-7pm at night. Of course he'd be up to feed multiple times at night but for the most part it was "lights out". No major stimuli (TV, bright lights, parties, etc). To this day they have remained on the same schedule.

People are usually shocked when I say that both my 5 year old and my 2 year old (soon to be 3) go to bed without a fight/hassle by 7pm at night. For us, that's just how it is and has always been. They don't fight it because that's the only routine they have ever known and are used to.

We did have to stay strict with the routine when they were really young, there's always the temptation to throw on the TV when they won't sleep (or whatever stimuli they respond to) but I'm glad we did the work back when they were small so that it's simple now. On the occasions when one of them really wouldn't sleep we'd just sit in their room (with a dim nightlight) and sing quietly or just cuddle. Eventually they'd get the hint that it's bedtime not playtime and that we weren't going to budge.

It's been a very long time since I've had a wee one (our DS just turned eight). But I too think that three weeks is too young to make a routine work. They don't understand any of this concept, all they know is to cry when they need to eat or sleep, or need a diaper change.

We went through a period of him not wanting to sleep until we laid down with him, sometimes we'd fall asleep there too and lose the whole evening. :) But we broke him of that too. He's had a 7:30 bedtime for years, but we've just recently moved it up to 8. Friends are surprised that we keep the same bedtime even on weekends, but we do.

I'm with many others. its hard to have a 3 week old on a routine. his needs are going to change often over the next few weeks to months as he grows his demands to feed will change. this may alter his sleeping schedule and his play time. he'll be awake more often during he day which we'll make him want to sleep more at night.
make sure you don't include the 'shh baby is sleeping' rule either. babies need to learn to sleep no matter what is going on. esp. with two older siblings.
as for grandma if she wants to spend time with baby she needs to do it while he's awake. even if she has him she needs to respect your rules and routines. its not fair to him not to.

I agree with the others-some babies are starting to get into a predictable routine around 3-4 months. If your baby is not one of them, then you can try to guide him into a schedule. Good luck and enjoy these first few months with him-as you know they grow too fast!

Congrats. It might be too early to have routines that you set. Just have to follow his cues and start monitoring the patterns he sets. With my little guy we did an eat, play, sleep routine from early on. He would fall asleep because he was tired, and not because his belly was full. Early on as a breast fed baby he ate more frequently and only had 40 min cat naps during the day. But he settled in to a pattern of having a 40 min nap every 2hours, and gradually it would be longer naps and awake time. Night feedings were always done with minimal light (dimmer switches are a great investment) and quiet. He would eat and go right back to sleep. He never had days/ nights mixed up, and slept longer stretches during the night.

We started the every night bed time bath routine at 4 months, and now at 3 he has a bath every other night and never fights bed time. That routine is essential to me.

congrats on your little one :)

He may be a little young for routine just yet, maybe just go with the flow for now. Each one is different, and this little guy may surprise you with all the tricks he has up his teeny tiny little sleeves ;)

I started a bed time routine when mine was seven months. It wasn't even possible to do it earlier.